I recently met a guy who was telling me about his troubles and how his wife wants a divorce but I noticed he still had on his wedding ring. I asked a guy friend his opinion and he said “he’s lying to you, if he still had on his ring he is still attached to his wife and not going through a divorce bc any man would take that ring off the moment he knew his marriage was over” is this true?
Side note** I am not seeking to date the guy, married men are off limits for me but I was curious if what my friend said was true for majority of men.
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I recently met a guy who was telling me about his troubles and how his wife wants a divorce but I noticed he still had on his wedding ring. I asked a guy friend his opinion and he said “he’s lying to you, if he still had on his ring he is still attached to his wife and not going through a divorce bc any man would take that ring off the moment he knew his marriage was over” is this true?
Side note** I am not seeking to date the guy, married men are off limits for me but I was curious if what my friend said was true for majority of men.
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facts
The day I said we are getting a divorce.
He said she wants a divorce. Not that he is divorced.
Right away
If you’re not dating the guy, and all he’s doing is telling you some marriage woes, why do you care when he takes off his ring or not?
Most men will take off the ring as soon as they feel betrayed.
Mine came of when she said “I want a divorce”
yes
He’s probably lying to make it seem like he’s getting out of a relationship to make his chances better with you
The day after I filed.
I wasn’t going to pretend anymore.
Can’t speak for all men but in my case, yes I took the ring off the day I asked her for the divorce. Do I still love her? Yes. Do i now hate her? Also yes. It’s a rollercoaster ride, that’s for sure. But I took that cursed thing off as soon as the conversation was done.
Long before the divorce could start the moment of separation is when the ring came off.
I didn’t take mine off during separation, and not until the divorce was finalized. I just felt like I was still married during that time. But I understand why some/most would take it off as soon as the divorce process is initiated.
the ring will tell you when he accepts whats happening
I didn’t take mine off until I got a new girlfriend a few weeks later (she knew both of us so she knew the situation).
Though I actually still wore the ring on a chain around my neck for a decade later. I kept it as a reminder of what mistakes to not make again.
When I left the house I paid for and lost in the divorce.
As soon as you’re mentally out
The moment the divorce was finalized. Up until that point I was open to working on things, but once it was done, it was done.
Im currently married with no “real” issues. I never wear my ring.
I also dont flirt with other women. Rings are just uncomfortable.
I took mine off after I moved out, a few weeks after we agreed to divorce. Didn’t want to take it off right away for fear of that seeming unnecessarily hurtful to her.
I took my ring off the moment my ex said she wanted a divorce, but I knew the moment she said it there was no saving the marriage.
I took my ring off after signing the final court judgment and leaving my attorney’s office. I promptly then sold it. I also decluttered my home and removed all past possessions (photos, gifts, etc) and either donated them or sold them.
Bring that to the bar and you’ll notice the pre selection happen in real time.
Ring came off twice immediately. It’s not because you stop loveing them, it’s because it’s a constant reminder and rekindles the pain.
Currently about a month out of the divorce being finalized (1 year mandatory separation in my state, then it’s another ~2-3 months from filing to finalizing). I took my ring off when it became apparent that there would be no going back. That was about 2 months after we separated.
The ring will come off when the relationship is over for him. His wife wants the divorce not him. If he wanted the divorce, that ring would be only a pale circle on his finger.
The day I left the house. Left it on the dining room table with flowers and a note thanking her for the good times.
Didn’t amount to much in that she’s still bitter, but it was sincere.
Everyone has their timeline and process – I did after a few Months of separation when I developed “acceptance” that this is happening.
As soon as she told me she wanted a divorce. I took my ring and put it on her dresser and never looked back
The day that she admitted to cheating and I immediately had it melted down to 💸 in my pocket.
Why would he take his ring off? If he’s trying to find a new girl, the best way is to wear a ring. At least from what I have seen. I got hit on more with a ring on than I did without a ring. I have been married over 20 years and while I’ve had women be more straight forward with me as I’ve gotten older, I definitely had more women flirt with the ring.
I’m married and don’t cheat. I gained a lot of weight and haven’t worn my ring in years. Now I’ve lost that weight and a bit more and I still don’t wear it. My wife doesn’t wear hers either.
I removed my ring THE SECOND I filed for divorce.
Ring comes off as soon as the word divorce is mentioned.
My man still wears his ring every single day eventhough I want a divorce
When I realized she was serious and not just being manipulative.
When she stopped going to reconciliation counseling and she wanted the bank accounts separated.
Advice,
Don’t date recently divorced men. Make some timeline like 6 months after divorce. Or 1 year.
We’re just not ready emotionally (typically).
I wasn’t. But I was lonely. I’m still not ready for a relationship where I give my all to her, and it’s been 2 years now. But I’m pretty clear with her on it.
Not divorced but just lost a 7 year relationship. I carried the ring I wanted to give her in my wallet. I kept it in my wallet for 2 weeks.
the day she moved out, which was 2 days after she told me she “needed time alone” and wanted ME to leave the house. i forced her hand to vacate.
Only a Sith deals in absolutes.
This is going to vary from guy to guy. I never wear a wedding ring just because I have sensory hang ups and can’t stand to have shit on my hands. I also don’t place much emphasis on the symbolic value of trinkets.
Point being that some guys would absolutely be the complete opposite of me there, too.
So, the only reasonable thing to do, in my opinion, is to do as I do and not read much into the symbolic value of trinkets. If a man is legally married to a woman and lives with her, then he’s married whether he’s happy or not or the ring is on or not.
When he’s not living with a woman and not married to her then he’s not married, again whether the ring is on or not.
I took mine off when I said I wanted the divorce. She kept hers on…
Mine came off the day after. I asked for a divorce and went to exhausted. Woke up and threw it away when I was getting ready for work.
I took my ring off when I felt i was ready – many months after we separated. It meant a lot to me and it was a nice reminder of her.
I had a recently divorced co-worker whose husband had left her for a younger “bimbo,” as she described. Since we worked in a chemistry lab, it was customary (but not required, everyone was always gloved) to remove jewelry before going into the lab.
She noticed that I always wore my ring, and asked “why don’t you take off your ring in the lab?” to which I replied “what? Take off my babe magnet?”
She did NOT respond well to that.
Not every guy will take his ring off. Especially if he still has feelings for her. This is kind of dependent on the person.
Having never gone through a divorce; I’d want to not date until the divorce was finalized; so I might not take off the ring until I got the signed paperwork.
I wouldn’t want to give the impression that “I’m just as available as Mr. Just-Graduated-University-With-No-Relationship-Attachments,” before the divorce was official.
Shit!
I took it off the moment, I realized that the relationship was damaged beyond repair and that this wasn’t a marriage.
I’ll take it off when everything is finalized. Just feels wrong to not wear it but I probably should have taken it off the day I found out she was cheating again and not looked back.
I’ve been married for 18 years now. I took it off about 16 years ago and I’m still married. We have kids. Only a few more years before I can go.
The day it was official. I melted it down with a torch and threw that miserable thing in the scrap bin.
My 1st (short lived marriage…”young & dumb”) ripped me up. I wore the ring about a week after the split in delusional hope…. Decades later my wonderful bride cheated within about a year (she put on a great show..honestly if I had to do it all again Id have made the same mistake marrying her). The only reason I didn’t immediately remove the ring as soon as I learned she’d been cheating is i wanted to get the ring safely home to put into a baggie so I could sell it for cash at a pawn shop lol. I’ve since remarried & been with my current wife almost 10 years strong.:)
I took it off he very same day I told her we’re getting divorced. I never even considered wearing it again afterward, that would be weird.
When the papers were submitted to the courthouse requesting a court date. It was uncontested. I took my ring off in the parking lot.
I got divorced in 2000, separated in 98, ring came off the day we broke up. Have it to my eldest kid.
I waited until she moved out
I left mine on for a few months. First of all I liked it. 2nd of all it was like a chick magnet. Women tried harder. Finally I took it off and it has been sitting in my jewelry box ever since. I still reach for it with my thumb to fidget just like an ex smoker reaches for their cigarettes in their shirt pocket when stress levels go up.
Huh, good question. I don’t remember the actual moment the ring came off. Sometime between when we started talking about getting a divorce and when we finalized. Definitely before I started dating. Lol.
We were only married 2 years though, so my case may be a bit different. Our marriage was over for a while before we actually decided on a divorce.
Mine came off when the divorce papers were finalized. My legal status until that point was married, and that’s what the ring represented at that point. Dating before it’s legally over can lead to complications.
As soon as you’re separated. Why bother holding onto meaningless trinkets?
She wants a divorce, let her have it.
That’s not necessarily true. I went through a divorce 13 years ago and I had my ring on and off. There’s so many mental ups and downs. I live in a different state than what I used to deem home. I went to see my parents and tossed it into the ocean. That was a year or so later.
Every dude is different. One guy might throw the ring into the toilet. Another might wear it around his neck. Another guy might put it into his cigar box and file it away. This is definitely one of those times we all won’t agree on one thing.
First time. Took it off from the git go. Second one really hurt. It took 9 months before I took it off.
I took mine off the day I left, and sold it the same day. Divorce takes time, usually couples are separated during that time.
He’s still married and it’s not him who wants the divorce. So he’s not serious about dating.
Ahhhh, 12 years ago, I remember it like it was yesterday… We had been fighting about her dishonest bullshit for months… Same old cliche, he’s just a friend, blah, blah, blah… I asked if she loved him, she slipped up and said “I don’t know”, and looked off to the sunset for meaning like a damn movie… I gathered what little of my self respect I had left, told her to take a long walk off a short pier, and that I wanted a divorce. The ring was off within 3 minutes and I never looked back.
Shouldn’t leave the ring on too long. Your little man has to breathe.
When I needed drinking money.
I agree with your friend.
Until a person is divorced, they are married.
I wore mine until after I left the courthouse. I did not have sex with anyone.
Mine came off the evening we decided to divorce.
Was a sad moment but a good feeling, always hated it. Nothing symbolic in that, I just never liked the feeling of jewellery on my hands.
Took it off that evening, put it in a drawer and never wore it again. Three house moves later I’m honestly not even sure where it is or if I still have it tbh. Have never worn any jewellery since thankfully.
The ring comes off once he accepts the fact the marriage is over. To date him probably a lot of baggage about the ex. Once he removes it he’s starting to move on..
He might be a guy who uses a ring to attract women. Thats also a thing. Women like to steal men from other women to boost their ego
I took it off after I hung up with my lawyer and started the official action of the divorce.
I think it comes off when you’re ready. Kind of a cop out, but it is an external expression of something unseen. People may be in various states of relationship (separated, divorced in process, etc) and in various states of internal processing of the end of that central relationship.
Also, people may notice and ask about it before you’re ready., while others want to get back in the game ASAP and want to remove it as soon as the decision is made.
No rules for navigating that mess
Bro this stuff is so sad. She wants a divorce and the ring flies off….
What’s wrong with this world
once I’ve built up enough of a tan.
I took mine off the day I filed.
I have been divorced twice – I’m a woman, though.
I took mine off years before we actually got the divorce.
I wouldn’t mind hearing the answer either. Still wearing mine, my wife isn’t wearing hers. Still pending actual separation with the legal divorce being an unknown.
She has made it clear we are not “together” but I haven’t moved out yet due to finances.
If he isn’t ready for it to be over, he likely won’t take it off.
If he’s ready, off it comes.
“HIs wife wants a divorce” and “he’s currently going through a divorce” are quite different.
I’ve been divorced going on 16 years and still wear my wedding ring, albeit on a different finger, on a different hand. I like the looks of the ring and it now represents my strengths and the weaknesses I overcame.
When the marriage was over
came off when she said she had been having an affair
I left mine at her place on her bathroom sink after we were seperated and I had to move to a new state for a job transfer. I didn’t want it. I don’t need it. I don’t want anything that reminds me of the trauma she inflicted on my life.
Mine came off the night she asked to split up.
I took mine off the day I went and talked to a lawyer. It felt real.
I want to know when the mark on my finger will go away. It’s been several months and I still have the dent
The minute those divorce papers are in front of you and you both sign them! It’s not fair to enter into another relationship while ending another. Seeing someone cool but exclusive no. Learn from my mistakes I never did this and the trust will never be there if you don’t. You could be completely honest and women will always think you could be cheating better to be safe then sorry
As soon as I knew it was over.
Took it off the day after she had me sign a separation agreement. Recently took a trip to the country we got married in and threw it in the ocean. ✌️
The moment I got to a safe place. I left it on in the house with her out of fear, but once I was safe, I took it off. I kept it for my daughter as a keepsake for her, because she doesn’t know what actually happened and I’m not sure she will ever know the full story (atleast not until I think she needs to know). As of now, I don’t see a reason to darken her memories of her mother. She still thinks of her in a positive light. She doesn’t need to know how horribly she died or the horrible horrible things she did to me to make me leave. One day I’ll give her the ring. Unfortunately, I don’t have the necklace that I kept it on when I was working because that got ripped off my neck in the struggle. One day, the few things I have leftover will belong to her. Hopefully, the memories dont ever have to be hers as well.
Mine came off as soon as the divorce was public knowledge
FML. I took my ring off BEFORE we talked of divorce.
I took mine off the minute she filed for divorce. I was not opposed to it except from a logistics and compassion standpoint.
I did eagerly march down to the attorney she hired and saved her a service fee.
I suspect each person has their own answers but mine was off the minute she filed and even during reconciliation attempt I told her it did not go back on until she fixed some of her issues and repaired the broken trust.
Mine came off the instant I made the decision to go to the courthouse to file for divorce.
For me it was about a week.
I’m married and I don’t often put my ring on. Wife looves that fact obvs.
I’ve never even been married, but if I were in such a divorce scenario…
I’d be cautious of prematurely taking it off and the soon-to-be exwife intentionally stating true but misleading statements to make it seem as if I’m cheating on her by taking the ring off while married. I’d wait until I’m legally divorced THEN take it off (as well as signing up for dating/romance apps) to ensure no false cheating lies can be told.
True… I was seeing ( talking. ) to a guy for 6 months . We went on a trip together . Then the truth came out. He was married; still ! The ring wasn’t a gift from his mom. The guy he is married to is not “ like a brother “ to him.
Wow, I’m a weirdo. I kept the ring on until I got the divorce decree in the mail from Nevada* — for the sole reason of having a ring to take off when I got the decree and was finally free.
Folks that took their ring off immediately, how did you mark your actual D-Day?
*Or maybe she emailed me to let me know? Anyway as soon as the divorce was actually done, it came off.
The moment I accepted it as inevitable..
Source; am currently a married man not wearing a wedding ring 😂
It was almost a year before the divorce. When she noticed I took it off, it took her a few days to bring it up. She’d ask when will I start wearing my ring, I said to her, when she starts acting like my wife.
As soon as she asked for it
I took mine off as soon as I decided I had had enough abuse, and wanted a divorce (20 years married). We were living separately in the house for at least 3 years – no physical connection. It was all over but the paperwork.
I took it off after signing the paperwork.
Mine came off the moment I told her I was leaving. Well before the divorce was final.
I took mine off a year before she filed and I had moved out a few weeks before she filed
This post hits hard as I am leading into this 🙁
I took my ring off the day she said she was leaving me because she wasn’t in love with me anymore and was falling for another man.
The moment I was told “It is over and you are moving out”. I left it on the kitchen table.
I took mine when we separated and she moved into her apartment so she could date her boyfriend. We weren’t divorced until about four months after that.
A lot of guys do this. Here is how it works.
Imply that there is trouble in the marriage to see if you are receptive. Then, pursue further if you feign any interest or if he feels you are gullible enough to fall for his bullshit.
The wife, she is at home with the kids, thinking everything is fine. Worst case, they hit a little rough patch and will get back to normal soon.
He has no intention of leaving his family, he wants to see if he can gaslight you with his bullshit. Just enough to fuck you a few times.
I threw my ring out of the car window the day we decided to separate.
My husband is still married to me and he doesn’t wears his wedding ring for years now. Only wore it druing the first year of our 10 year marriage now. When I ask him why he doesn’t wear it he says because it’s uncomfortable to wear it and I never made a big deal about it. I mean if he cheats he cheats a ring will not stop anyone
As soon as I found out she was running around on me, that shit came off.
Personally, I ripped mine off like a band-aid.
That being said and knowing that I’m a cold SOB, I also recognize that there are men out there that are, in fact, desperately in love with the person that they are divorcing. So I think it’s pretty ridiculous to paint with such a broad brush and say “any guy would……”, well anything.
Once you are ready to answer questions about it being off.
I took mine off when she moved out and sold it when the decree absolute came through.
I lost it about seven years before. I didn’t like wearing it anyway because I am left handed and it got snagged on everytime I put my hand in my pocket. I also work with electricity which makes it dangerous. It was just off so much, I misplaced it and never saw it again. It might be under the seat of my car to be honest.
Everyone is different, for me it took 4-5 months after things were finalized to finally remove it. It took me that long to finally accept that there was no resolution in our future and had to move on.
Mine came off when I knew the marriage was done for. Way before we spoke about divorce.
I took mine off the day the divorce was final.
I personally left my ring on for about 5 years after. Part comfort, part reminder that I survived it and partly because I did better at the bars and conferences I went to for work picking up women to sleep with the ring on.
Mine came off once I was mentally at peace with the divorce happening.
Ring off instantaneously, me and the wife at the time seemed off , I asked her if she wasn’t happy she said yes , I said if you’re not happy take off your wedding ring and place it on the mantle piece, quickest I ever saw her move boom 💥, mines was off not that much later 👍
It took me some time to stop wearing mine after we first separated. For a time, I kept it on a chain around my neck. I eventually threw it away after I moved out, a few months prior to the divorce being finalized.
For people who take vows seriously, it is a hard thing.
Just because she wants a divorce, doesn’t mean that he does.
Removing the ring will be one of the steps in him accepting that the relationship he vowed to commit his life to is over.
I kept it on until I got around to telling everyone that we were separated.
I took mine off six months before we split. I wasn’t dating or doing anything I shouldn’t. I just stayed home. The ring comes off when the emotional attachment is gone.
She told me it was over and wanted a divorce. I took it off a few minutes later
Some men* may take off the ring so they can cheat. This person said he wants a divorce and is not going through a divorce. But I agree with your friend regarding the attachment.
When he emotionally accepts that it’s over.
As soon as I decided I wanted a divorce, it came off.
For me I didnt take it off until a couple of weeks after she asked for a divorce, and it was mostly due to the shame I felt for still wearing it since we were cohabiting while I finished school.
Listen, I got out of a behavioral hospital because she was the reason I had a mental break and was still trying to make things work and she told me the night I came home after I picked up my meds that she wanted a divorce. I took my ring off and handed it to her.
I asked for my divorce, and it took my ex a few months to take his ring off. I think if you aren’t the one initiating it, there’s a reasonable period of time to grieve and be in denial while hoping it will change. All that to say, I took my ring off after I told him it was over.