Men, have you ever initially found a girl unattractive but later ended up dating her?
Men, have you ever initially found a girl unattractive but later ended up dating her?
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Men, have you ever initially found a girl unattractive but later ended up dating her?
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Yes, that’s when the trouble began
Yes, but we didn’t date, she rejected me.
i’d say it’s not super uncommon for me to meet a woman, not think much of her looks, and then be more attracted to her later. for women i outright find UNattractive, typically they never become attractive but everyone can move a couple points up or down on the ten scale i reckon
Almost, I grew to like her alot but then she ran of with someone else, cest la vie
Yes, at first I was not physically attracted to her whatsoever but over time and friendship she became more beautiful to me every day. Dated for two years and broke it off cause we were young and dumb lol
Will not and I mean will not end well. I know it’s hard out here but if you’re looking for long term that’s not a good strategy. If it’s personality that’s one thing lol
Once when I was young, never again.
Yes, my ex gf. The one thing I found very attractive on her was her long brown wavy hair, then she decided to cut it very short to donate the hair to some charity that makes wigs.
We broke up a month after that.
well she had brown teeth on the first date and had then whitened by the second date..
Yup, my wife. We met in highschool and she wasn’t my type at all. As we grew up and matured, that changed and we started dating at 23. She said the same thing happened for her. We never would have dated in high school.
No… and it’s an absolutely terrible approach to things.
On the other hand, if you’re dating a women you feel very attracted to, it’s also critical for you to figure out if she really, really likes you. Otherwise, she’ll never respect you.
Met a chick at a party many moons ago who was hitting on me hard but I had no interest. She took off her baggy hoodie she was wearing which revealed her voluptuous chest. I was mesmerized. We dated for about a week.
yep
Kind of. Never again
of course. it is because while beauty gets your eye, a personality and sexiness can win a guy over too
Isn’t that every girl? Like I can think any random girl is pretty, but not attractive. Attraction comes from forming a connection with someone.
“How I met your mother” haha
Don’t feel that has ever happened. I’ve dated women I was more neutral about at first, but never someone outright unattractive.
Yes.
Yes, and with so had the best sex of my life and then she left me 😅
Yes. Then she became the hottest person ever. Then around 5-6 years into the relationship idk she got bored of me or something so we separated
She arrived at our workplace quiet, dowdy, dandruffy, and under shapeless clothes; an exquisitely pretty and confident girl emerged a few months later after a major glow-up.
My sudden interest was politely rebuffed, probably just as well as I was a horny, directionless twenty-something and she deserved better.
No sir.
How many times is this exact question going to be posted?
Yes. They become attractive when they show affection towards me
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Yes. She was also the most insane person I’ve ever met. So glad she took off to California and never came back.
Yep, and it was a great relationship. We broke up for other reasons, but she went from unattractive to me to super attractive while we were dating.
Yes. I’ve known her for decades and am extremely attracted to her however her *appearance* is very low on the list of reasons why.
I adore her mind and sense of humor, we are extremely sexually compatible (which isn’t very common), and she has just the right sort of blend of confidence and sense of self to remove any and all doubts about her enthusiasm for me.
Sexuality, and people, are complicated.
This is one of my fears in dating. I truly don’t want to end up with a guy that is settling for me or had to be convinced to find me attractive.
Married her….sweetest woman I’ve ever got to know in 50 years….the old saying is true…..you know the “SKIN DEEP” thing…..😉
Yes and it did not last my sex drive evaporated
Yeah, I initially didn’t find her attractive, but as I started to like her better, I also started thinking she was more attractive
At 2am everybody looks great
No of course not. I know what I saw when I saw it, why would that change?
When I was young and single I would rather date someone unattractive amd have sex than someone hot and not have sex.
There’s a saying that your longest relationships are with girls you never expected to date. And for me my longest and best relationships were with girls I wasn’t really attracted to initially but became attractive once I got to know them.
Yes i have. Turned out TERRIBLE.
But my best success was a girl that was very attractive I would say out of my league. We are married now. I would not have it any other way.
Not like that but ive ever found a girl just to be above average at first glance but after time i somehow found her more attractive in her own way for some reason.
Yup. It’s amazing how your tastes change even over the course of a few years. It didn’t end well, but it was fun while it lasted.
technically I can’t answer since I’m not a Man BUT my boyfriend said that in highschool he had a crush on my personality but didn’t want anyone to know since I was a bit of a nerd and an ugly duckling. he loves how I look now tho
No, settling that hard is a bad idea that nobody ends up appreciating.
I didn’t find her repulsive, but I thought she was kinda mid.
Then she started talking.
Instant 10/10.
Yes. Call me immature but i used to go for looks over anything else. Id be with a 10 even if she was dumb, mean, cheating, whatever! Then one day a regular, actually slightly kinda ugly girl told me she had a crush on me. I thought so lowly of her that i thought “damn this 2/10 MUST have some confidence if she came right up to me!” So i gave her a chance. Dude! The little things about her made her so hot. Her smile, the shape of her ears, her perfect nipples, her feet, her laugh, maybe im getting to wierd here lol. Hahahahaha but the stuff that you cant see upon first glance. I fell for her hard. Opened my eyes.
I have, and it was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made. It wasn’t just looks, it was also her personality
Yeah, I felt she was very average looking. And then we talked for 12 hours straight. She was probably the prettiest woman in the room at that point.
We’re dating now.
Isn’t it funny how love works? One minute you’re thinking ‘meh,’ and the next you’re planning your future together. I guess beauty really is in the eye of the beer holder!
Yes
No. I know people like to wax poetic about this kind of thing, pretend that personality wins over everything, but it doesn’t.
Attractive <> universally attractive. It means attractive to you.
The only time this happens (dating someone unattractive to you) is when someone is lonely and settles, and it’s the same for women.
One of the reasons relationships work is mutual attraction, if you do not have that basic foundation it will never work. I do not really care what any of you have to say on this, it’s just virtue signaling. Everyone, and I mean everyone, has preferences in what they feel is attractive.
I am not saying any one person is not attractive, I am not saying what I find attractive is the only attractive. I am simply saying that if you do not find someone attractive, their “personality” isn’t going to change that.
Imagine telling your SO that you find their personality attractive… you couldn’t and if that’s you, then you’re lying to them, by omission or deception, which also isn’t healthy…
I can virtually guaranty the people on the moral soapboxes in this thread are single.
Last year, a girl from my friend group who I wasn’t physically attracted to confessed that she had feelings for me. I was conflicted about what to do, but eventually I decided to try dating her anyway, thinking we had enough common interests that maybe the attraction would develop over time.
Long story short, it didn’t, and I broke things off after a month or so. The breakup was amicable, she’s dating someone else now, and I’ve learned an important lesson – being single is much better than being in a relationship with no chemistry.
Yes….
First day I met her, I did not even know if she was a girl, and she looked weird.
1 year later and in my eyes she was the most beautiful woman I had ever met.
Current day and she is my ex, but is still the most beautiful woman I have ever met
No, usually the physical attraction is immediate and my feelings on the matter won’t change. I can like and appreciate a persons personality but that won’t make me more sexually interested in them if I wasn’t already.
In high school this happened to me. Had a crush on girl A but she was friends and hung around with girl B. Don’t remember the details but I somehow ended up going out with girl B. Really awkward experience would not recommend lol
Yes. She was a bit chunky and seemed crazy, but slowly over the years, we got to know each other. We dated briefly but parted amicably when she moved to the other side of the continent.
Not exactly unattractive, but not my ideal type, which then after fully getting to know the girl, it became my type, also chemistry was unmatched like any other. I always thought she was cute though, so was attracted to her initially
Yep, went to high school with a girl who was a year ahead of me, friend of mine’s cousin. Thought she was kinda weird back then. She joined the navy and went around the world, I went army. She got out after a few years and moved back home. Met her out for dinner one night when I got stationed in my hometown, we hit it off and dated for a few weeks. She was in a bad spot generally life-speaking, and as much fun as it was and awesome to date someone who I could relate to as far as military stuff, I felt under a lot of pressure to be her sole positive release from the rest of her life and I couldn’t do it anymore. She got married and had at least one kid a while back, and I’m happy for her. She deserves a real shot at happiness too.
No. Not really.
I’m sorry, I can’t lie.
Originally I never thought my GF was beautiful. Now, five years in and she is the most beautiful and hot woman there is.
Attraction grows with love and connection.
Definitely not. I know right away if she’s hot enough to date
Had this girl I never really glanced an eye at or really talked too (she had a husband) and wasn’t really looking at her like that regardless anyway. Well fast forward 2 years she’s been going to the gym and looking a lot better and people were talking about it but still just kind of brush it off because (married) and just kind of paid her no mind. Well found out she went on a friends date thing and the guy thought it was more which led to me finding out she was separated as of late. She started going out of her way to make conversation with me and she is pretty coool. Kind of found myself becoming more and more attracted to her as the days go by 🙄. We went out once and text here and there but idk seems like a weird situation giving the circumstances of my life and what they have going on. Who knows though maybe time will tell I suppose but yes it happens.
Yeah it was a muslim girl lol, not that I took her as unattractive but since obviously I only ever saw her in a hijab I could only see her face and think nothing more of it, fast forward to being absolute best of friends with her and seeing how she looked without a hijab made me realise how beautiful she really was.
I ended up falling for her
Pretty consistently, arranged marriages and relationships have higher relationship satisfaction scores on surveys. That is when they are compared to more romanticized physical attraction based relationships.
Yes. Similarly, some of my favorite albums didn’t impress me much on the first listen or two, but grew on me over time.
There was a girl that I found incredibly unappealing that I ended up developing an attraction to. I didn’t end up dating her but I came close and that was the best decision ever. The more I found out about that girl the worse she got. There was a girl that could be considered ugly that I dated but I loved her immediately.
Yes that can happen it usually does happen. It is all about having someone to go out with and date. Attraction works in various ways as well.
Not unattractive but stuck up and full of herself. Ended up dating for four years.
Yeah I found a girl unattractive at first but then she grew on me because of her personality and that made her way more attractive in my eyes so I asked her out
These comments are horror stories. “ I thought she was BUTT UGLY, but then she started talking”, “ SHE WAS SOOO UGLY, but I gave her a chance and now we are married” JFC. May this love never find me 😭
Unattractive? No. But I’ve definitely found someone much more beautiful after getting to know them.
No never. If someone’s unattractive to me I don’t even see them as a potential partner whatsoever. I’ll still be nice and all that just because that’s the right thing to do but that’s where it ends.
Yes, as she was too young at the time I didn’t find her attractive, years later different story.
Almost eveytime
Not necessarily unattractive. She just wasn’t the type I would initially be attracted to. Met her during a bar crawl. Talked to her a bit and then moved on to other bars. Tbh, we were already fairly drunk and everything always seems darker when drunk. Ended up at the same bar at the end of the night and we started talking again and realized that we shared a lot of common interests and ended up hanging out until 5 am after sobering up a bit.
Just today a girl who I might’ve put under the category of “gross” gave me an instant erection at work when she told me “you’re going to play with me tomorrow” because I’m in her area I guess. I wanted to put five kids in her instantly.
She was a friend for roughly six months
Not conventionally unattractive just not my normal ‘type’
I had never laughed so much and enjoyed life more than when we spent time together, she asked me out and I was smart enough to say yes…it’s been almost 10 years and I’m still infatuated
Yes.
I was single for a long while and not actively dating. Was busy being a father and taking care of myself. I had roommates that were a couple and she was bringing her friend over. I met her briefly and didn’t really think much when meeting her. Just another girl i thought. And that’s it.
Well over the next several months she started coming over a lot more for “girls night” I would be home but I was tucked away in my room studying, working on projects for work or at the gym. One weekend I was kid free, no work, no school and they were having a “girls night” I go in the kitchen grab something to drink and started having convos with the few girls that were there. Night ends and still don’t think much.
As time went on they were having these “girls nights” with just my roommate and the first girl. I started talking to her more and the more wet spoke I started to see how attractive she was. She wasn’t my type or anything I would typically make a move on out in the wild. But she was smart, witty, and we read a lot of the same books and had similar interest.
One night, I ask my roommate what’s up with her friend and if she was single and my roommate said “ITS ABOUT TIME YOU SAY SOMETHING YOU MORON. WEVE BEEN HAVING THESE GIRLS NIGHTS BECAUSE SHE LIKES YOU!”
We dated for little more than two years and the relationship was great but ultimately did not work out. I still see her post here and there as she’s attained some local fame on socials. And I still admire how beautiful she became to me.
I have to at least be neutral about her physically and then personality can carry the rest of the way. If I look at her and I’m turned off, then nothing is going to happen romantically no matter how great her personality is
Yes, I too am ugly!
Never happened to me.
I initially found my boyfriend pretty unattractive but after two months of dating he became very cute and attractive in my eyes
Sure, it’s not that uncommon
Yeah, but only because I had really stupid beauty standards. By that I mean that for the longest time I felt someone basically needed to be a model to be attractive to me. I held standards for other people I never held for myself. Knew a girl, she was into me, but I wasn’t into her because see above. Took me about five years to grow the fuck up and stop being a dumb ass. When I stopped trying to view other people through unrealistic glasses, someone I previously found unattractive was suddenly attractive. I asked her out, we went on a few dates and ultimately didn’t go any further because of personality/life goal conflicts.
Some of the other responses about giving people a chance..bruh. Grow up.
Terrified to end up with a man who initially found me ugly
I feel like this happens the other way around pretty often
Oh I this did happen to me. I thought I a woman was short and a bit on the heavy side but her personality, gorgeous face (and huge boobs) won me over. I still think about her to this day
Yeah, wasn’t a great move in all honesty. I was won over by the personality she presented initially, after being together for a couple of years it became obvious that wasn’t the ‘real’ her but a persona she’d created and let slip when she thought she ‘had’ me.
Never unattractive. There’s been girls that I didn’t notice at first or pay attention to that caught my attention eventually. They started to become more attractive to me, with time.
More than a few times. The one thing they all had in common was they bought me things. Mostly dinner and drinks
I know plenty of men that have done this, and they still complain about lack of attraction, despite loving her and marrying their “best friend”
Do not recommend. Attraction is critical.
One of them has been married to her for years and secretly regrets marrying his best friend instead of a woman he was attracted to.
No. If I find someone unattractive, it’s usually because of the way she acts or something that she did.
Things like flirting with me and then turning around and treating her “friends” like shit.
Is this post some kind of unknown/absent father honeypot
Copied directly from my reply to a similar post a month ago:
Yup. She approached me at first, and was really persistent, so I finally gave in and told her I didn’t want anything long term or serious, basically just a purely physical thing. She said she was OK with that, but after a few months she wanted things to get serious, so I broke up with her. I had fun while it lasted, she seemed to as well, I hope she did, but I never really found her attractive physically, and there was never any sort of interpersonal chemistry there.
Just for the record, I never said or did anything to imply that I had feelings for her that I didn’t. I never lied and told her I found her physically attractive at all, but I never told her that I didn’t either, because that seemed like it would be needlessly hurtful. I was monogamous with her, and as far as I know, she was with me. I was always nice to her (except for the breakup, I guess. I did my best to let her down gently, but it clearly wasn’t what she wanted), but I was always upfront and honest about my intentions and what I wanted in the relationship.
First one I guess although I wouldn’t even call it dating, the second I found attractive from the start pretty much so it’s a 50/50 so far.
Not unattractive, but I wasn’t attracted to her, because I was completely stuck on another girl that wouldn’t give me the time of day.
A friend of hers mentioned she liked me and I kind of forgot about that, until I met her a year later (I had since moved on from my hopeless infatuation), and long story short we became a couple.
I learnt a lot from that 2-year relationship which ended up being rocky, but I was definitely very much into her.
But my takeaway is: she was always attractive, I just didn’t have eyes for her when we met. I don’t think I could have become hooked on someone I considered unattractive from the get go.
Yes, one of my first real girlfriends. Big mistake.
No…
While I do have some instinctual male sense of initial superficial attraction, my true attraction is to chemistry and facial expressions, personality, etc, and my attraction to a woman only ever grows through interactions… so it can increase or decrease based on that. I’m sure I have genuinely found some women more attractive than other men may have, and more than I initially may have on first sight.
American men experience this constantly, because unattractive women are much more pleasant to be around vs. pretty women. Unattractive women are cooler, more laid back, more sexually open minded, and they dont try to make us compete with other men or act entitled just because dick is so prevalent.
So.. guys date them for a while as a *placeholder* until they find someone more attractive, and the unattractive girl gets her heart broken.
Of course, I never fancied the woman that was chasing after me, I couldn’t see anything in her that appealed to me. Just ignored her, it wasn’t until I bumped into her in the bus and we happened to sit beside each other and we began chatting that I felt a inner beauty about her and her tone of voice was beautiful, that eventually I was falling in love with her beauty outside as much as her inside . I love her very much now. My stupidity and ignorance certainly was bliss.