Men, how do you view the idea of women wanting their partner to act as a protector?
Men, how do you view the idea of women wanting their partner to act as a protector?
r/AskMen
Men, how do you view the idea of women wanting their partner to act as a protector?
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Antiquated and rooted in the Patriarchy, according to Feminism.
A slippery slope
Sounds like “trad wife” stuff tbh.
Partners should protect eachother. It’s not a one-way street.
I like making her feel safe.
I dunno, feels like a natural instinct in my case, I just feel the urge of it.
And I believe everyone is entitled to their preference.
I also believe it’s okay for a man not to be a protector if that’s what he want.
“Equal rights equal fights”. If they ain’t helping me, they against me.
Im bigger snd stronger, so it makes some sense?
I would break up with a woman who thinks that way
I no longer think it’s a matter of want. Many men and women need to feel a sense of security to be at ease.
I dunno honestly. I can see how it could easily be taken advantage of and potentially used to manipulate someone.
But I also don’t know what it’s like to live like a women. I’ve known women who are scared to go to a gas station alone if it’s dark or something, and that’s not something I really think about.
At the end of the day though, I think a good partner wants to protector their partner, regardless of Gender. Protection isn’t just “physical protection”, at least in the way I’m interpreting your question. I think having your partners back mentally and emotionally, being a support system for them, being someone they can talk to is all forms of protection in some sort, at least imo.
Sorry this was long but I think it’s a great question tbh
think wanting a partner to be protective isn’t about control it’s about feeling safe and supported. A good “protector” respects your boundaries while having your back. That balance is what really matters.
I’m a 6’2″ 190 lbs veteran. Yeah, if we’re in a situation, I’m protecting my wife who is significantly smaller and weaker than me.
Why wouldn’t I want to? A few weeks ago a guy was acting really creepy towards her at a show & she was very happy I was there to stare him off when he followed her back to our spot.
Obviously normal and natural but we have to stop attacking boys in school and discriminating against men and making up unworkable sexual harassment rules if theyre gonna achieve that.
I am fine protecting someone weaker than me. I see it as an obligation. My issue is when women except you to physical confront someone for lesser issues. They don’t under how it takes one unlucky punch and you are unconscious on the ground getting your faced kicked in. Then the woman is there defenseless alone.
I went 37 years without needing to protect myself from someone.
I’d question her life choices if “protection” makes even the top ten of the things she needs from a partner.
That’s fine, what she going to act as?
I expect both of us to protect each other to the extent of our needs and abilities.
Of the compliments I have received from women, “I feel safe with you” is my favorite.
It comes natural to me, so I don’t mind.
Protect her from what? Is she Sarah Conner? Is Michael Myers after her?
Its normal, that’s how it’s been for the entirety of our existence as a species.
Sounds like typical gender roll stuff. I’d say it’s a natural instinct, also I’m way bigger so duh.
That said, not a fan of fighting so we don’t live a lifestyle that lends itself to physical confrontations.
It’s pretty sweet. I would continue doing it even if my wife didn’t particularly want me to. It’s just in my nature.
I like it so much I’ve made it my profession.
Preface this by saying I’m not into rigid gender roles. I appreciate the cavewoman-era instinct to look for this but outside of emergencies, routine physical labor, or something like fighting for equal rights, some really take it too damn far.
Men (and boys) are whole human beings beyond just a walking ability to lead, work, protect, and provide. I’d like to be a person in a relationship with another person rather than being cast and policed specifically against someone’s Divine Feminine main character energy or whatever. Call me whatever you like but the “little woman” thing is fine for a few minutes on TV or in a movie, but largely isn’t a useful framing for modern urban/suburban life in modern capitalist society.
The idea that men shouldn’t protect women is laughable at best, downright ignorant at worst. The reality, that modern thinking refuses to acknowledge, is that most men are generally stronger, faster, and more capable of being protectors than most women.
It depends on what a woman means by that exactly. Women are usually smaller, lighter and weaker than me (particularly as a man who is taller than average). So, for my own sake, I should use my advantage for someone important to me and someone who reciprocates in other ways.
I’m fine with it, but I’m not protecting anyone from self inflicted damage. If you poke the bear, I’m sitting back and watching you learn.
That depends if she’s traditional (I am fine with that) or the modern day “I’m a woman, hear me roar” and I can do everything man can do type while spreading misandry (then no).
And don’t call me sexist for the last part bc this is what you (those types) wanted. Can’t pick and choose when convenient.
I only mind if you rudely turn down my counsel on matters of protection and expect me to bail you out of situations you got into from ignoring it.
The same way women probably feel about being their partner’s maid.
That’s fine, but you better be as mild as a church mouse because I’m not your attack dog.
In general I’m OK with that. My major problem with it though, is that i don’t think many women understand what that means. Most times, protection means avoiding the conflict all together. Which most women don’t get at all.
Further, most don’t truly get that risk, no matter how small, is also dangerous.
So, many women that say they want their man to protect them, have no concept of protection. They just think of men fighting, and that’s that. But then they’ll turn around and mistake protection for toxic controlling. When in fact it’s him avoiding the risk before it’s a thing. And that’s just as masculine.
In martial arts, they even teach that it’s supposed to be last on the list. Avoid, de-escalate, diffuse, etc. After other avenues are attempted, then fight. But many women these days just expect fight to come first. Not realizing that puts him at risk, and therefore it’s quite dumb. It comes across like he’s disposable to her. And if it’s like that, then she doesn’t care for him. It’s just her using him.
Then she needs to listen and not argue, if/when the time comes. My wife is a badass and a feminist. That said we have had a few occasions that weren’t safe, one I told a male friend to get her out there, and another I told her to be quiet and get in the car. Both times she did what I needed from her, it’s not about me being mean or controlling it’s about her being safe, so my mind isn’t worried about her if a fight does happen.
Just to add if it was normal for me to talk to her like that she wouldn’t put up with it, it’s only from the respect I have for her and she has for me that she will listen and that respect would quickly disappear if I abused it
She can hire a bodyguard, then.
I get it, getting attacked by predators in the wild is a common occurrence in civilized society it makes sense