Men, if you were gaining significant weight at college, how would you prefer a significant other to bring up the topic?
Men, if you were gaining significant weight at college, how would you prefer a significant other to bring up the topic?
r/AskMen
Men, if you were gaining significant weight at college, how would you prefer a significant other to bring up the topic?
Comments
Since you shitlords like to delete your posts, here’s an original copy of the post’s text (if available):
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
I mean idk maybe don’t be shallow and just don’t mention it?
I wouldn’t mention it, you may ask why? Well because if they’re getting fat and you still love them then deal with the fat.
“I think you’ve had enough to eat for one meal.”
Blunt and straightforward.
I’d expect my partner to maintain a similar standard so if it’s becoming an issue to lifestyle/attraction, propose something like working out together, or taking walks etc.
I mean one can gain weight for a number of different reasons. I myself used to eat to cope for years before getting proper help
That’s tough, but I can say that if these patterns are starting in college, they will magnify later. Pretty much everyone looks back on their college years and says that that was when they were in the best shape of their life. Gaining weight and not caring about your health in college is usually a canary in the coal mine.
Why do you want to bring up the topic? Is the added weight making you feel less attracted to them?
I gained weight (about 30lbs) in my mid twenties and my wife mentioned it. Up until that point, I still saw myself as that in-shape guy. Her telling me she had noticed shattered my illusions and I can’t thank her enough for it. I lost all the weight and have kept it off for 10+ years. If you truly love someone and have that deep connection, any conversation can be had.
Never have I gained weight and not been aware that I was gaining weight. You could choose to delicately offer some support, but trust me, he knows.
“It’s going to be sunny outside, today. Care to go for a hike?”
And then discuss it along the way and start a hiking habbit that day of the week … a little our-time
It depends how much weight TBH if you have an open and great relationship then communication should be no problem with it being offensive.
Straight forward to the point. “You’re gaining weight and you’re not acting like yourself anymore”. Obviously don’t say anything along the lines of leaving him over it
Don’t say “Hey your ass is getting fat!” Say “Everything okay? I’m genuinely curious if your feeling okay or have you noticed? I’m just concerned for your health.”
I wouldn’t. As someone that did gain significant weight when I went to college, I knew it was happening. I didn’t need the shame from a partner pointing it out to me added on top of my own shame.
Me: “I’m a fat, disgusting fck!”
Her: “No you’re not!”
Me: “Aw, thank you! I love you, but I’m a fat, disgusting fck and I need to lose weight.”
Direct and straightforward.
Just hire a tuba player to follow her around. She’ll get the hint.
As a man I would have no problem with anyone confronting me and telling me I’m packing on some weight. Or Blunt suggesting that I not eat something that I just ordered and get something else. I’m a man, I don’t need to be talked to in a tender way.
I’m an old guy, 54 M – but I prefer bluntness. It might be just my generation, but I prefer being told straight out what the issue is 90% of the time.
I’m not going to lie, there are things that I prefer people be a little more gentle breaking the news to me on. Gaining too much weight isn’t one of them, for me at least.
Encourage healthier habits! Do exercise together and or work out classes as a date
“You’re getting fat.”
Be blunt and honest
You’re getting fat, tubbo
If a person doesn’t want honesty and uncomfortable truths out of the person they choose as a partner, I just don’t understand that mentality.
“You need to lose some weight.”
unfortunately the answer to this question is very blunt. and it’s called tough love. anybody gaining significant weight probably is not happy or has underlying issues they’re not dealing with. all you can say is i care about you a lot, about your physical and mental health. but you’re gaining significant amount of weight and becoming unhealthy. i was attracted to the person before this happened. i’m here to support you but changes have to be made for me to stay in this relationship
Be direct, don’t do that thing where you suggest that we exercise together or explore healthier eating habits. Weight gain can sneak up on you and sometimes you need a wake up call. “Babe, you’re getting fat and it’s kinda turning me off.”
College is tough because you no longer have family guiding healthy eating habits, and if he likes beer that’s even worse
Don’t bring it up at all
Be direct.