I’m not talking about dating someone for a few months and realizing it’s not a match – that’s part of life. I’m talking about how, in today’s dating world, so many men deliberately breadcrumb, lead women on, and play with their emotions even though they have no intention of pursuing anything serious.
These men know that if they were honest: “Hey, I just want something casual”, the woman might walk away. So instead, they keep dangling hope, avoid real conversations, and string her along just to keep access to her body. It’s manipulative, cowardly, and emotionally cruel.
If you want something casual, say that up front. Don’t fake interest or build false emotional intimacy just to keep the sex going. And if what you really want is sex without commitment, PAY FOR IT. Stop using women who are looking for connection under the guise of “dating.”
This pattern is exhausting and deeply damaging. Stop wasting women’s time and emotional energy just because you’re too afraid to be upfront. If you’re not ready for a relationship or just don’t see it with a specific woman, that’s fine – just be honest about it. Otherwise, PAY for the service you’re actually after and leave women’s emotions out of it.
I’ve been put through the wringer emotionally by love bombing and tip toeing around intentions from someone who KNEW they did not want anything serious with me, but kept playing with my emotions in order to keep me on the hook to them so they can have access to me sexually. If he was just honest and PAID ME, I wouldn’t be this hurt at all.
So hey you evil assholes, next time you wanna swoop back in and play with emotions, PAY UP BUDDY. Wanna hook up with me again? GLADLY IF YOU PAY UPPPPPP.
Otherwise, GTFOOOOO
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I’m pretty sure not leading people on for sex is a popular opinion
This isn’t unpopular but it’s also not just men. Plenty of women do the exact same thing
Or just listen when they say “I don’t want anything serious” that works too
Isn’t that just prostitution? lmfao. Im not against it but that’s what it sounded like to me.
absolutely… but who’s selling?
like women don’t manipulate men into buying them shit and paying their bills
I don’t think this is unique to modern dating.
People** should. Using someone for sex happens on both sides. But I do agree.
They don’t like promiscuous women. So they say 🤦🏾♀️
But paying for sex is illegal 🙁 in most places. Illegal to buy but legal to sell
Quit falling for it.
Does your hot-take boil down to “legalize prostitution”?
Amsterdam
Always have some $2 Bills with you.
Why pay when they can get it free?
Yess!!! I couldn’t agree with your post more OP. This has happened countless times to me. To the point I just won’t date anymore and i’m now celibate.
It’s a very very cruel, insidious and manipulative thing to do and so many men seem to have no qualms doing it. Too bad if the damage to a woman’s psyche causes her pain and suffering I guess?
It’s a real shame, but go to a prostitute men if all you want is access to a female genital opening to pump. Or be up front with the woman and make sure she is absolutely and completely only up for casual too.
Then women should just say, “I’m not sleeping with you, I just want you to take me out and spend $$ and time on me. I don’t find you attractive but I need simping to validate myself.”
Not in this country. This Puritan country makes it illegal. Certain states now make it a felony. Sexuality in this country is treated like a shame so what you are talking about is the consequence. However, Tinder is available.
Lots of women seem to be just as frustrated with this but you probably need some self reflection. If you are finding men on dating apps, and only chasing the most attractive men you can find, they probably have dozens to hundreds of women they are talking to.
You might want to consider meeting men via shared experiences or hobbies instead
I think something being known as the “world’s oldest profession” disqualifies it from being unpopular. Men have been paying for casual sex since they invented casual sex.
I don’t think you understand how expensive that would be… I’m not condoing shitty behavior, but the whole argument of (I’m paraphrasing) hookers are cheaper than a gf/wife is total BS.
Reading your whole post again. It sounds like you just went through a bad break up, and I genuinely feel for you. We as a society need to be better to eachother both men and women.
I think you’ll find far more men than you realize are honetly not meaning to lead anyone on just for sex.
It’s hard to see sometimes, but there’s definitely a difference between outright lying and manipulating someone, and just finding out your wrong about the person your with. People are complicated
You seem to ignore one essential fact: women sleeping with men in the course of dating and women sleeping with men for money are two rather different groups, and men tend to prefer women from the first group much more than women from the second one. So what you suggesting is not that men should pay for sex the girls they are attracted to – it would not work, because these girls would just be disgusted and would flat out refuse – but that they should get a totally different kind of experience.
But prostitution is illegal, so
There have always been people, men and women, who use people. That’s not going anywhere, sadly.
So someone played you huh? lmao. Also men don’t have access to your body. Its your choice to talk to them. Just stop talking to them
So somehow girls fall for these fat, evil assholes and rather than berate the men for their conduct or the women for their standards, we want to justify a system ripe with abuse that treats women’s bodies as a commodity.
Side note, you would be happy if he paid you? Maybe that’s why he didn’t respect you or feelings.
This is why shame is necessary in society. People won’t value themselves or their dignity otherwise.
This is pathetic and just another excuse. Women can hold off sex for as long as they want in order to get proof of commitment, this is perfectly valid
They could also just leave after the first few times or make forcing moves. Can he really afford to present you to his parents/friends if he’s not serious? What about exclusivity? These are all things that filter out the men that are just doing it for the fun of it. And no, him saying “maybe later” or “I just don’t know where I’ll be in 3 weeks” is not a valid answer and if you stay after that expecting more you’re stupid.
You are also conveniently not acknowledging the existence of women who think they can change or convince the man to pick them even after he’s explicitly stated otherwise. They then go off and cry into the ether about how badly they were manipulated. Grow up.
You do know women also want casual sex right?
Prostitution should be decriminalized and the social stigma on both the provider and receiver reframed as something akin to a friendly game or squash or tennis. That is for western countries where there’s an illegality to providing or receiving such services. It’s not a panacea for societal ills – but it’s been a societal vent on base instincts for millennia – and a good reason for it.
Women manipulate men in other ways. That is part of life. I believe it has become more common over the years though. Are men getter better or are women getting worse at picking up on their shit.
It’s leery tough to find a woman who just wants to keep it casual. Or maybe I’m just ugly idk
This just reads like a gender-swapped incel post
Clearly this isn’t an unpopular opinion and just you being scorned because you couldn’t see his love bombing and manipulation and opened your legs to him still when you should’ve known better. I’m sorry, but as a male who is up front with women, I do have to criticize those like yourself because you do it to yourselves. Sorry but I’m not sorry, I laugh everytime I see posts from women claiming they can read men, pick out the bad ones to avoid, know who the good ones are, etc yet it’s the same story I see over and over. Which tells me, those like you clearly can’t tell your ass from a hole in the ground if a man can manipulate you for months.
Its very obvious to see when someone doesn’t want something. If someone is going back and forth about feelings, red flag. If someone gaslights you, red flag. If someone is distant one week then loving the next, red flag. Yet you will listen to whatever excuse they say because either 1) you’re lonely 2) too naive to see past the bullshit or 3) are just that easy to use.
Since this isn’t an unpopular post I just feel compelled to have to give you a little humility since it’s a doing of yourself. Yeah he’s a POS because unlike men like this i do say up front I just want to hook up and not date but it still doesn’t remove the fact that if you can’t see red flags after a month of someone doing this then maybe you shouldn’t give it up until you know a man is serious? I know that’s difficult for most since everyone wants instant gratification but if all that happens is you wasted a month of your time but didn’t spread your legs, may be less of a grievance
Or you know…. Just don’t do either 🤷♂️
Here is a real unpopular opinion: stop blaming men for women’s choice, women are not forced to have casual sex.
Extra extra read all about it, some person suggests that people who manipulate other people into sex are bad and should just engage a prostitute instead…. Doesn’t seem to understand that the kind of people who do this probably know prostitutes already exist and would be using them if that is what they wanted
>I’ve been put through the ringer
“Wringer”.
I see that you needed to vent but pretty sure men can’t just choose to pay for sex, because, laws and ethics.
You need a new dating pool and or just need to focus on you for a bit before dating again.
I’m seeing a lot of hate in the comments, take care of yourself first OP.
Posts like this make me think the average age of a reddit poster is like 22
You sound like a catch. 😂
“This post is about my life, not all men and women”
Until you get caught in a prostitution sting and you’re all over facebook.(happened to a friend).
Sounds like you just had sex without asking ‘what are we?’ first.
It’s dangerous to assume.
Bro thinks women don’t like flings
Do you keep meeting men who are like this?
i’ve been strung along by dozens of women for sex. me, being naive at the time, felt great about it and didn’t understand i was being used. now that im more mature and have hindsight, i see how shitty what they were doing to me was. this goes both ways, and i think prostitution should be legalized. at the moment, it’s dangerous for both parties, but if it were legal, it’d likely be much safer and smoother of a process. i don’t think it’d be much less stigmatized if it were legal, but i think more safety is always good.
You could draw a line in the sand and say “no sex until we’re serious” however you may define becoming serious.
Maybe prostitution would be more popular if it were socially acceptable, the big difference in your situation is that if someone manipulates someone into sex they get the physical sensation and the sense of accomplishment for getting them to sleep with you. The other option is you get the physical sensation but also shame and potentially being arrested so it’s not exactly the same thing
Okay wait what the fuck is bread crumbing? We don’t have to keep making up new entirely fake words you know.
Men aren’t honest because being honest typically doesn’t work. So, no, we will not pay for casual sex. Just because a man you’re attracted to tells you you’re his future wife etc… doesn’t mean it’s true.
it’s been happening for centuries it’s just more broadcasted these days
I salute you, lady. Well said. 🫡
Did you just reinvented prostitution
OP got their heart broken and thought they were the first this ever happened to
You had me until the very end where you say you’re a prostitute. You want men to date you seriously, but you’ll also prostitute yourself to the men who just want casual sex. I hope you understand how that will turn away 99% of the men who would want something serious.
I don’t know of any guys that do this, maybe you’re looking in the wrong circles?
trying to catch a shark in a fishbowl ain’t gonna work neither.
The irony is thick with this post lmao
Also not an unpopular opinion that people shouldn’t lead others on in the dating scene…
The screams some kind of venting post that does not belong on this specific sub. Go dump your dating issues somewhere else.
Fucking laughable opinion.
This is kind of funny lol 😂
Edit: Not saying I disagree, it just made me laugh
Men want a trophy. It doesn’t count if you have to pay for it.
Women should just pay for husbands instead of breadcrumbing sex and using sex to emotionally manipulate men just to use him in weird social-status games and trap him in legally enforced “provider” roles.
If they pay a prostitute, they don’t feel desired and impressed with themselves.
So basically you want to whore yourself out as long as the guy says he has no interest in marrying you in the future….
They’re not “too afraid” to be upfront – they’re being disingenuous – making you think they care so they can get some. It’s not fear, it’s just that somewhere along the way some guy decided you’re worth casual sex but not worth committing to and feigning emotions was the shortest path to getting it.
Historically, women have had a “3-5 dates” rule for a reason, it’s to weed guys like that out.
I’m not biting the obvious misandry and the reasoning with the depth of a teaspoon, so I’m just adding that there’s a saying in Spanish: “the one that fucks paying, ends up saving”.
Unpopular and partially correct opinion.
If you think that having sex with you is worth any money to anyone, you are in for a big surprise.
There’s always waiting until marriage. That would hold yourself to a high standard and get rid of guys pretty quickly who are only interested in sex.
I agree, but prostitution is illegal in my country. And as you said, when stating upfront you just want to fuck most women walk away. So false hope it is for now.
Not everyone is your ex, alright?
It sounds like you think guys have some master plan to deceive you instead of deciding that they just don’t like you enough after a few months.
Many women have no problems finding and keeping a guy. You’re just different. Sorry.
This is the thing about hookup culture, everybody’s about body positivity and freedom to do what they want until it backfires upon them.
I’m not someone who thinks that people who should wait until marriage for sex. But I do believe that you need to build some kind of bond with a person before having sex with them.
This goes for both sides, if you are ready to have sex on the first date with a person you barely know, then you can’t expect a long term relationship from that person.
Sex is supposed to be an intimate act, and you have the freedom to with your body what you want, but you can’t complain about the consequences too.
Date someone, get to know them, do it if you love them. I really don’t get the point of doing it with someone you barely know for like 10 minutes of feeling good.
I’ll be honest, get very strange energy from OP.
this is a subreddit for unpopular opinions, not emotional ranting based on specific things that have happened to you and then vastly generalizing it
Well you, I’m assuming you’ve been burned, could also have respect for yourself and walk away. Instead you want to be a prostitute or something?
Breadcrumbing is a strategy that a lot of people use, it isn’t exclusive to men.
Sure, as soon as gold digging women stop “dating” men just so they can get shit bought for them.
Unpopular opinion?
Nah. Just popular projection wrapped in moral outrage. Try logging off instead of writing manifestos
Apparently someone got their heart broke
Sounds kind of prostituty?
Belongs in r/rant
Women don’t do this at all?
Is this your way as coming out as a sex worker?
I hope someday your bubble burst, it will be for good
Women do it too.
But I agree that hookup culture is trash.
It’s called 2nd (or 1st in some sources) oldest profession.
It’s also illegal in most countries because of <different but mostly moral-related reasons>.
It would be VERY interesting how rhetoric would change when (when and not IF) sex bot hardware make their use as bad-but-usable replacement realistic.
“Just pay for it”
Isn’t a valid response
It’s illegal and if you’re caught it could mean the end of your career depending, like if you’re a teacher
Plus, she’s overflowing with potential STDs
Prostitution is a crime in the primary demographic of this website.
What you’re saying is: men should go commit crime.
I have nothing against prostitution.
Jail. I have a problem with jail.
Definitely good to be cautious but paying for casual sex should be the transaction between both parties not a blanket recommendation. Some people are in open relationships that have discussed casual sex. Some people don’t want that but it’s always important to filter the people out that don’t match and if you want a serious relationship better to keep it non sexual for a longer period because otherwise you will just end up giving it up too early when you want someone serious. If you’re ok with just sex and no strings attached then it wouldn’t be a big deal, but when you want something more serious then stepping with caution is necessary.
Women should just pay for serious romantical emotional love. I’m talking about how, in today’s dating world, so many women deliberately breadcrumb, lead men on, and play with their horniness even though they have no intention of just having sex.
These women know that if they were honest: “Hey, I want strict commitment, endless deep conversations and sending Xmas cards with matching shirts”, the men might walk away.
imagine if a man said this
In this economy?
Eh I’m not paying for anything. I like the chase, the thrill of gaining the attraction of a woman. If she cant handle that im not boyfriend material then that’s her cross to carry at the end of the day. I can be upfront, and if she decides to fuck me then guess what? That was her choice. I dont owe her shit because I never came with the intention that I do after sex and im sorry but most women delude themselves into thinking this man wants anything more than that simply because you had sex, we don’t in most cases. If you want casual sex to be less strings attached then maybe women need to understand that some men only seek physical pleasure and that it’s on HER to weed these men out, not get upset and rage that he clearly never had any intention of dating you or even sticking around. A closed mouth doesn’t get fed.
When I was single I slept with hundreds of women by being strait forward and respectfully telling the I was looking for casual sex.
You would be amazed how many women reside well to something of the effect of “ I think your really cool and attractive, I would really like to hook up with you, but I’m not in a place whereI can be the long term partner you deserve.” It worked For me more than 9/10 times.
Most women found it totally refreshing, and with some frequency women would hit me back a few times looking for a hookup that wasn’t going to make them feel like trash.