Men, what are some ways you deal with your internal issues when you do not have much to turn to? My wife is a great person and mother that I have realized I cannot be emotionally vulnerable to her.
Personally, I turn all of my energy into fixing the issue, and the process of exploring/fixing the issue brings me the initial comfort that I need to keep things moving. If the issue is something unfixable by nature (such as death), that fact that it is unfixable brings me the comfort that I need to move forward.
The only thing that REALLY bothers me is a fixable problem going unfixed.
I’ve never seen the value in “venting”, or sulking, or letting my issues weigh me down.
I also use perspective for comfort. I went homeless at 16, and the vast majority of life issues that I face in my 30’s simply aren’t as challenging as sleeping outside in the cold as a teenager.
Therapy works. Things like meditation, emotional regulation exercises, writing/journaling, and talking to friends/family can absolutely help too. Your wife should be your best friend, though, and you should be able to be vulnerable to your best friend. Really sorry to hear that it’s not like that for you.
I’ve been singing this :
All the suffering, all the tears,
I learnt to make them mine
At all times, in all seasons,
I learnt to smile…
Even if you are suffering, don’t let it stop you
If you want to survive, don’t give up
Even if this life doesn’t bestow happiness anymore,
Then so it be…
I pretty much shut down, which I know is not good. I generally don’t feel comfortable talking to anyone about things I’m going through, so I keep it to myself. When it gets to be too much, I just sort of hide away for a few days to “recharge”, then go back to life as normal. During that time, about the only productive thing I’ll do is my job, because I have to – but I don’t talk to anyone or leave my home outside of work hours while I’m shut down.
So far, it’s working out okay, but I know there are far better ways to handle stress/anxiety/etc.
Comments
>My wife is a great person and mother that I have realized I cannot be emotionally vulnerable to her.
Damn, dude. I’m really sorry to hear that.
Personally, I turn all of my energy into fixing the issue, and the process of exploring/fixing the issue brings me the initial comfort that I need to keep things moving. If the issue is something unfixable by nature (such as death), that fact that it is unfixable brings me the comfort that I need to move forward.
The only thing that REALLY bothers me is a fixable problem going unfixed.
I’ve never seen the value in “venting”, or sulking, or letting my issues weigh me down.
I also use perspective for comfort. I went homeless at 16, and the vast majority of life issues that I face in my 30’s simply aren’t as challenging as sleeping outside in the cold as a teenager.
TLDR:
I don’t internal issues fester
Therapy works. Things like meditation, emotional regulation exercises, writing/journaling, and talking to friends/family can absolutely help too. Your wife should be your best friend, though, and you should be able to be vulnerable to your best friend. Really sorry to hear that it’s not like that for you.
I’ve been singing this :
All the suffering, all the tears,
I learnt to make them mine
At all times, in all seasons,
I learnt to smile…
Even if you are suffering, don’t let it stop you
If you want to survive, don’t give up
Even if this life doesn’t bestow happiness anymore,
Then so it be…
I pretty much shut down, which I know is not good. I generally don’t feel comfortable talking to anyone about things I’m going through, so I keep it to myself. When it gets to be too much, I just sort of hide away for a few days to “recharge”, then go back to life as normal. During that time, about the only productive thing I’ll do is my job, because I have to – but I don’t talk to anyone or leave my home outside of work hours while I’m shut down.
So far, it’s working out okay, but I know there are far better ways to handle stress/anxiety/etc.