Really like the ‘confidence’ response. Nailed that one. I’ll go with money too. Never had any financial security growing up. Led to all kinds of insecurities. No one’s fault… just the hand we were dealt.
Growing up I never had a room of my own. Until the age of 10 I had a room that I barely remember now, then we started moving around and I never got to stay in a place long enough to put in effort to decorate or develop a style in. It hit me really hard because I used to go to friends’ or girlfriends’ houses and see the cool shit they had around: beds and shelves and paintings and pictures and lights that all showcased their personality.
When I was 20, having lived in a pretty ugly studio since the start of university, I started decorating. I got myself posters, a bean bag, a cool office chair, christmas lights at my windows all year round etc.
Now I live in a different studio, larger, and decorate all the time. I have my posters and the old bean bag and all that, but now whenever I have money to spare I actually buy myself stuff to decorate, stuff that I like. It feels good to enter a place and know it’s mine and I can spend time to put love into it, knowing I won’t have to move too soon.
A house. We had a house for about 10 years, then we were homeless living at friends houses and then moved to another state to live with my grandma. It felt like never having a house to call home if that makes sense
Debt and taxes mostly. Also one of them ear cleaner thingies with the camera that you can watch on your phone. And granola. I can eat granola for breakfast every motherfucking day if I wanna. I don’t wanna, but I can. Other than that, a house, a car, a pressure washer, about 800 cigars, 30 bottles of bourbon that I’ll never drink. Oh, and the cancer. Can’t forget cancer.
Kids, grandkids, air conditioning, color TV, computers, cell phones, microwave oven, arthritis, receding hairline, bills, that’s about it off the top of my head I know there is more.
Motorcycle. Growing up, a lot of my cousins would have street bikes or just dirt bikes to get out and have fun. My dad seemed to be the only one uninterested in anything with 2 wheels. What makes it crazier is he was the only 1 of 18 with no fun stuff.. sure had fun visiting family
Well I was homeless in high school. I worked full time while also in high school. I walked everywhere and slept in the local town forest beside the river for a long time. However, now I’m 22 and doing very well. I live alone, have the most comfortable and expensive bed, and drive a pretty nice car. I earned all of it on my own. I still don’t have any confidence and feel like a waste. Despite how I feel about myself and my own existence… I’ve proven to be more of a man at my age than most of my peers. Nonetheless, even with all of these things I have now – I am still not happy. Hopefully in a few years I’ll meet a girl and maybe some years after that I can live a much more fulfilling life as a father and husband. Not just a lonely young man whose greatest purpose rn is showing up to work
A happy family. This time, it’s on me, and I’m killing it.
My wife is a humble queen, my daughter is a 6 month old marvel, and I’m in tears, frequently, over how amazing it is to be a part of something so functionally wholesome.
I moved out at 16 and was homeless by 18. I stuck through and learned a trade. Almost 15 years into that trade, and people know my name. And it doesn’t matter to me one bit, because my daughter doesn’t know my name… yet.
I come home when I want, my pets haven’t figured out how to call me when I’m running late. I didn’t feel like eating a regular meal, so I grabbed crackers and Nutella and ate that until I got a bellyache and no one can say anything about it. I got sick of my work so I took 2 weeks off (I didn’t ask for them I just stopped showing) I applied elsewhere and now I enjoyed 2 weeks vacation and landed a job with more flexible hours and better pay. No guilt, no one telling me how reckless I’m being. No one gives a damn and I love it.
That thing of getting a degree, partner, kids, a house, a car, working for the same company for the rest of your life, working 5 days a week 40 hours a day? Turned out it’s all optional.
I make my own decisions, face my own consequences, and deal with no one’s shit. I know how it sounds, but I was raised in a way I was convinced this wasn’t possible
I had steak that I bought for myself and cooked for myself and my wife for the first time in my life yesterday. Medium rare. Better than I’d ever had it.
It’s something that always had seemed too expensive to be reasonable (and it still is to do on any sort of regular basis). But it feels like a milestone in my life that I never even considered until I had it.
I’m 70 now and know 9 people battling cancer right now. I know that seems like a lot but it’s true. So unfortunately I think about how much longer I will be around. I’m not consumed with it but it’s there.
Food in the cabinets. I grew up super dirt poor, when it got bad pretty regularly going without dinner! As an adult with a young son at home I have a habit of regularly overstocking on some non perishables, it may not be something you want to eat but goddamnit we aren’t going without dinner around here!
A dad or brother to show me anything about tools or building . I picked it all up on my own in my mid 20s when I bought my first home . It gives me a ton of confidence knowing I don’t have to call a guy anymore .
Confidence. If I had close to the amount I have now back in my teenage years I might have been pretty unstoppable and accomplished a lot of what I wanted to do. I’d be in a very different, and I think better, place than I am now for sure.
I probably had it for a long time, but it started getting worse at the end of last year. Still working my way through all the doctor appointments and tests and dealing with health insurance.
A stable home life, I am not the perfect dad or husband, but my family will never feel the hunger or neglect I always knew, and good cheese, it’s almost orgasmic having really good cheese when I ate nothing but processed cheese growing up.
A lightsaber. And even then, it took my wife convincing me to finally break down and get one. Every convention, I’d come up with some reason why it was just too expensive for me to get a lightsaber. I’d put it off, year after year. My wife finally pulled me aside and made me live out a dream I’ve had since the 80s. She was even ready to fight the vendor for me due to a minor misunderstanding about the final price.
An old cabin cruiser. I wanted a boat since I was a kid. Took me till I was 63 to get the first one. Going to look at a second smaller boat tomorrow to leave at the summer place too.
A wife, car, pickup, income, house, kids, grandkids, my own phone that’s also a camera, two computers, four color TVs, any song I want to listen to, two refrigerators, stereo system, earbuds, non- hand me down clothes, several pairs of shoes, jeans without the knees blown out, a suit and my own ties, a nice bicycle, barbecue grill (gas), table saw, three cordless and two corded drills/screwdrivers, 4 pipe wrenches, multiple hammers, anvil, recliner, two guitars, ukulele, internet, email, laser printer, shotgun, choice of church (or none), liquor, CBD, a couple of frozen ribeyes, turkey fryer, front porch, a stack of oak lumber, chainsaw, shop, guest house, some woods, nail guns, air compressor and other crap I’ve accumulated over the years.
Comments
Confidence.
A decent computer.
My own motorcycle.
The government sucking me dry when it really matters.
I was going to say trauma, but that’s laughably untrue
No parents
Mental peace of mind. Success. Satisfaction.
Therapy and mental health assistance.
Really like the ‘confidence’ response. Nailed that one. I’ll go with money too. Never had any financial security growing up. Led to all kinds of insecurities. No one’s fault… just the hand we were dealt.
Spouse
A bed
Not exact, but my child can walk to her elementary school. In a really good neighborhood.
Lucky kid.
Hair on my back.
My own room.
Growing up I never had a room of my own. Until the age of 10 I had a room that I barely remember now, then we started moving around and I never got to stay in a place long enough to put in effort to decorate or develop a style in. It hit me really hard because I used to go to friends’ or girlfriends’ houses and see the cool shit they had around: beds and shelves and paintings and pictures and lights that all showcased their personality.
When I was 20, having lived in a pretty ugly studio since the start of university, I started decorating. I got myself posters, a bean bag, a cool office chair, christmas lights at my windows all year round etc.
Now I live in a different studio, larger, and decorate all the time. I have my posters and the old bean bag and all that, but now whenever I have money to spare I actually buy myself stuff to decorate, stuff that I like. It feels good to enter a place and know it’s mine and I can spend time to put love into it, knowing I won’t have to move too soon.
An outside perspective on why the way I was raised was not normal or healthy.
Food and housing security. It’s marvelous.
Beer gut
Everything. A family that cares for me being the most important part. Sometimes I’m incredulous thinking about it all.
A house to myself where, whether this is a good thing or a bad thing, I’m the one in charge.
A bad mental state
Bills. So many bills.
A house. We had a house for about 10 years, then we were homeless living at friends houses and then moved to another state to live with my grandma. It felt like never having a house to call home if that makes sense
Cynicism
Depression
Debt…
The body of a 30ish year old man
Financial assets
3 kids
Pride
A longer peepee
Depression
A hot tub. It was my wife’s idea when we bought our house. She was right.
Money
A sense of personal style. I wore jeans and a tshirt every day for 10 years, now I’ve upgraded wildly thanks to thrift shops.
A beard, calculator, computer, audio or video recording device, portable phone,
People that love me
An ex wife
Children. Debt. A cellphone.
long hair. mum was FURIOUS any time my hair even touched my ears. now? its half way down my back. and i LOVE IT.
Back pain + tinnitus
Family, stability, confidence
Love, stability, money
Debt and taxes mostly. Also one of them ear cleaner thingies with the camera that you can watch on your phone. And granola. I can eat granola for breakfast every motherfucking day if I wanna. I don’t wanna, but I can. Other than that, a house, a car, a pressure washer, about 800 cigars, 30 bottles of bourbon that I’ll never drink. Oh, and the cancer. Can’t forget cancer.
Silence. Not the lonely kind — the peaceful kind.
Back pain…
Bad luck. Feels like I just keep getting hit when I’m already down
Kids, grandkids, air conditioning, color TV, computers, cell phones, microwave oven, arthritis, receding hairline, bills, that’s about it off the top of my head I know there is more.
Lego sets with themed properties like Star Wars. I also never had a set with minifigs.
Motorcycle. Growing up, a lot of my cousins would have street bikes or just dirt bikes to get out and have fun. My dad seemed to be the only one uninterested in anything with 2 wheels. What makes it crazier is he was the only 1 of 18 with no fun stuff.. sure had fun visiting family
Depression
A wife. A child. A job I genuinely love. Credit card debt.
Cancer.
Money. Not enough but some.
Well I was homeless in high school. I worked full time while also in high school. I walked everywhere and slept in the local town forest beside the river for a long time. However, now I’m 22 and doing very well. I live alone, have the most comfortable and expensive bed, and drive a pretty nice car. I earned all of it on my own. I still don’t have any confidence and feel like a waste. Despite how I feel about myself and my own existence… I’ve proven to be more of a man at my age than most of my peers. Nonetheless, even with all of these things I have now – I am still not happy. Hopefully in a few years I’ll meet a girl and maybe some years after that I can live a much more fulfilling life as a father and husband. Not just a lonely young man whose greatest purpose rn is showing up to work
iPhones
Bills
The fear that I’m going to disappoint my children
Hope
A happy family. This time, it’s on me, and I’m killing it.
My wife is a humble queen, my daughter is a 6 month old marvel, and I’m in tears, frequently, over how amazing it is to be a part of something so functionally wholesome.
I moved out at 16 and was homeless by 18. I stuck through and learned a trade. Almost 15 years into that trade, and people know my name. And it doesn’t matter to me one bit, because my daughter doesn’t know my name… yet.
My house
A ps5
A girlfriend
All the lego I want
Eat everywhere i once wanted to.
Lego sets that cost more than $8.
A PSP
Heart disease and confidence
Girls want you to approach, it’s ok to fight bullies and your mom isn’t always looking out for you.
Your mom could be your worst enemy.
Peace of mind and God
Boobies, I was bottle fed
Back pain
Stability
Freedom
I come home when I want, my pets haven’t figured out how to call me when I’m running late. I didn’t feel like eating a regular meal, so I grabbed crackers and Nutella and ate that until I got a bellyache and no one can say anything about it. I got sick of my work so I took 2 weeks off (I didn’t ask for them I just stopped showing) I applied elsewhere and now I enjoyed 2 weeks vacation and landed a job with more flexible hours and better pay. No guilt, no one telling me how reckless I’m being. No one gives a damn and I love it.
That thing of getting a degree, partner, kids, a house, a car, working for the same company for the rest of your life, working 5 days a week 40 hours a day? Turned out it’s all optional.
I make my own decisions, face my own consequences, and deal with no one’s shit. I know how it sounds, but I was raised in a way I was convinced this wasn’t possible
I had steak that I bought for myself and cooked for myself and my wife for the first time in my life yesterday. Medium rare. Better than I’d ever had it.
It’s something that always had seemed too expensive to be reasonable (and it still is to do on any sort of regular basis). But it feels like a milestone in my life that I never even considered until I had it.
Rights
$6800 in medical debt
Failed dreams and regrets.
Lots of regret.
More than one pair of shoes.
A big fucking TV.
Adult problems.
Sex
Freedom
Chlamydia
Ear hairs
Back pain, bills, and the perspective that ignorance is bliss.
Never ending todo list
I’m 70 now and know 9 people battling cancer right now. I know that seems like a lot but it’s true. So unfortunately I think about how much longer I will be around. I’m not consumed with it but it’s there.
A sense of self worth. POS dad made me feel like I was only worth what I could produce. Now I know what I am truly worth 😎
I’ve always got something to do… I haven’t felt boredom in about 14 years.
Peace
A beard
Laptop
Money.
When you make enough money that your chances of going broke are close to zero, it makes life much less stressful.
Violent bitterness, huge trust issues, stuff like that I don’t think I’ll ever truly bounce back from.
Hatred of myself
Kids
A fridge full of food. Not much worse than being in a perpetual state of hunger.
Alcohol
Video game system , in particular a new one. I just turned 47 and got an XBox , the best one.
When I was a kid I never got video game consoles. I got my first video game when I moved out by myself
Trauma
A safe place that doesn’t have random men Stealing my stuff, and love of a wife and children.
A hobby
Stability. Sweet, sweet stability
PTSD
Food in the cabinets. I grew up super dirt poor, when it got bad pretty regularly going without dinner! As an adult with a young son at home I have a habit of regularly overstocking on some non perishables, it may not be something you want to eat but goddamnit we aren’t going without dinner around here!
A dog
Hip and joint pain 24/7
A clue
A dad or brother to show me anything about tools or building . I picked it all up on my own in my mid 20s when I bought my first home . It gives me a ton of confidence knowing I don’t have to call a guy anymore .
Latest game consoles.
Yup, we were a PC family through the PS2 and Xbox era and the last console my parents bought us was an N64.
I later bought myself a 360 in 2012 while in college due to seeing the Assassin’s Creed 3 trailers during the MLB playoffs that year and said,
“A native American kung fu esque assassin during the Revolutionary War? Take what little money I have!!!”
Now I have a PS5 and series x, looking forward to GTA 6 and a few other games.
Confidence. If I had close to the amount I have now back in my teenage years I might have been pretty unstoppable and accomplished a lot of what I wanted to do. I’d be in a very different, and I think better, place than I am now for sure.
Pubes
Agency
Impatience with stupidity.
My own bed, my own tv, my own clothes, my own bedroom, my own shoes, my own pillow.
Wisdom… teeth
Cats. Never had a “real” pet growing up. Just parakeets/goldfish/hamster.
Positive reinforcement
Epilepsy
Money. I’m not rich, but it’s cool not having to ask Dad when I want to buy something.
Back pain
No one bitching at me or telling me I suck for being born.
AFIB
I probably had it for a long time, but it started getting worse at the end of last year. Still working my way through all the doctor appointments and tests and dealing with health insurance.
A stable home life, I am not the perfect dad or husband, but my family will never feel the hunger or neglect I always knew, and good cheese, it’s almost orgasmic having really good cheese when I ate nothing but processed cheese growing up.
Wisdom
a bicycle that is my size.
My very own inflate a date.
Money, a decent place to live, no one yelling at me or throwing shit, a bed, food whenever I want, a car, and a bunch of other shit.
The freedom to watch porn (gay) and baseball anytime all the time I love porn ( my education) and I love and still play baseball whenever possible
Depression and anxiety oh and bills which is the majority of my depression and anxiety.
Monies, low self esteem, freedom , depression , anxiety, fear of judgement.
Friends
Fun cars that my parents didn’t buy. I wanted my dad to get a sports car or a cool SUV and I have both. I also have dogs and we never had pets
Deep depression and a desire to be done with this life.
A wife.
A lightsaber. And even then, it took my wife convincing me to finally break down and get one. Every convention, I’d come up with some reason why it was just too expensive for me to get a lightsaber. I’d put it off, year after year. My wife finally pulled me aside and made me live out a dream I’ve had since the 80s. She was even ready to fight the vendor for me due to a minor misunderstanding about the final price.
Deep concern and distrust of the government.
The world’s porn at a click
Troubled sleep
Crippling anxiety
Safety, security, and love.
Fucking taxes.
Children
Ear hair.
My own kids.
Confidence
Knee pain
Peace.
An old cabin cruiser. I wanted a boat since I was a kid. Took me till I was 63 to get the first one. Going to look at a second smaller boat tomorrow to leave at the summer place too.
Money.
Jordan’s
Scars
Confidence.
Extreme anxiety.
Security in my family
A wife, car, pickup, income, house, kids, grandkids, my own phone that’s also a camera, two computers, four color TVs, any song I want to listen to, two refrigerators, stereo system, earbuds, non- hand me down clothes, several pairs of shoes, jeans without the knees blown out, a suit and my own ties, a nice bicycle, barbecue grill (gas), table saw, three cordless and two corded drills/screwdrivers, 4 pipe wrenches, multiple hammers, anvil, recliner, two guitars, ukulele, internet, email, laser printer, shotgun, choice of church (or none), liquor, CBD, a couple of frozen ribeyes, turkey fryer, front porch, a stack of oak lumber, chainsaw, shop, guest house, some woods, nail guns, air compressor and other crap I’ve accumulated over the years.
Anxiety and depression
Back pain
Body pain
Peace of mind
You know, man stuff. A car, a job, a wife, semi-occasional sex, a child.