Men, what is something that is unspoken between you and another man, but means a lot?

r/

One of my female colleagues and I had a sort of falling out nearly a year ago. I’m an autistic male and she misinterpreted some of my actions (I think deliberately). We still work together but don’t speak to each other unless we have to.

My male colleague was quite close to both her and me, but ultimately chose me, when she forced the issue. He understood that while I might be socially awkward and her less so, I ultimately want the best for others.

It means an awful lot to me, as I have only a few close friends.

Comments

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  2. thefalsehoohah Avatar

    Don’t leave it unspoken, you should tell him that it means a lot to you!

  3. St0rmStrider Avatar

    What are you asking?

  4. Fit-Bedroom-7645 Avatar

    That we can not speak for 6 months and then pick up the conversation like it was 6 minutes ago. People are busy, I appreciate when people appreciate that. I also work shifts so it’s 50/50 whether you’re getting a message at 2pm or 4.30am

  5. lostnov04 Avatar

    An old work mate.

    I’ve not seen him in person in about 4 years.

    Every 3-4 weeks, one of us will randomly text the other with some of the most insulting remarks known to man. This then leads to several back and forths for the rest of the day.

    The beauty of it? During this ‘conversation’, we will actually have a proper chat, responding to those texts eloquently but continuing to rip each other a part.

    In fact…..think it’s now time to send him a wee hello.

  6. Odd-Roll2101 Avatar

    We never ever say what we did

  7. Distinct_Sir_9086 Avatar

    You should definitely tell him you appreciate that gesture and return it whenever you are able to.

  8. ZeroCool5577 Avatar

    Throwing in times other male friends have made mistakes or said silly things and some how making anything we are talking about or doing connect to those old times and then laughing and never getting upset about it.

  9. arioandy Avatar

    What happens in skegness stays in skegness lo

  10. blamurph Avatar

    I split from my then girlfriend, and a mate turned up at my front door with a Dumb and Dumber rented video (yep, was that long ago) and some beers and we just sat and watched the film without mentioning the split. Never forget that, made a real difference. Cheers Chris.

  11. nicstic85 Avatar

    When my dad was terminally ill, his friend would turn up, walk in and just start talking about football to him with no mention of the situation. It was great.

  12. ZakFellows Avatar

    That we can insult each other endlessly to kind of let off a lot of steam

  13. rezonansmagnetyczny Avatar

    We can trust eachother with eachothers women, even when it’s with a woman you’re not sure you can trust.

    If i don’t get that vibe from you unspoken, you’re not my bro and you never will be.

  14. Dru2021 Avatar

    Remembering the game and then texting all the boys from 10 years ago and everyone collectively groaning, catching up, going radio silent again for a few years.

    Also – apologies to anyone that just lost the game.

  15. Mr_Bumcrest Avatar

    It’s not gay if you don’t look at each other in the eyes?

  16. OuttaMyBi-nd Avatar

    My hetero bros.

    We make fun of everything but I know that if someone gave me shit for being bi, they’d have my back.

  17. maceion Avatar

    Enjoy the company of your male colleague, treat him easily . Have a tea time together. However do not close door on your female colleague, just be civil in any interaction with her. Not visibly or spoken ‘aggressive friendliness’. As my old friend (a sailor) would say ‘keep all things on a even keel’.

  18. rev-fr-john Avatar

    My neighbour and me are both self-employed in different fields, but nearly 30 years ago I helped him move a mobile home up a steep plot of land for his family to live in while they built their house, back then I cost £75 a day, since then he’s helped me out, for £75 a day, today we still charge each other £75 a day, our wives just don’t get it.

  19. Kind_Ad5566 Avatar

    My mates Mrs is a complete c unt.

    Horrible woman, but he stays with her because he promised to look after her daughter until she was 18.

    Yes, not even his own daughter, but he’s a good hearted bloke.

    Whenever I see him it’s always a jibe about the witch.

    " Sleeping in the shed again"? (Yes, he has!)

    "Old bill been round" (yep, she’s had him arrested before, for nothing)

    Hard to explain, but we bond over his suffering. I have offered him ways out, but he made a promise 15 years ago.

    Hell of a celebration coming up soon.

  20. RevolutionaryMess98 Avatar

    Being more understanding of the mental health and loneliness that alot of us struggle with.

  21. Super_Swordfish_6948 Avatar

    My best friend saved my life once. I’ve never thanked him and don’t think I’ll ever repay that debt.

    Currently his life is basically WFH, wife and toddler. The majority of our friend group has moved just far enough away that organising anything is logistically tricky.

    I make a point of just going for a few pints with him whenever I’m home, give him something that’s not work and family.

  22. iatecurryatlunch Avatar

    in the toilet. no need to speak but both men understand not to look down and judge.