People who only want me for sex or sexual intimacy. I’m all for it but it needs to be special. Not like something we do daily. Sometimes I just want to see a movie and cuddle.
Women who use men for attention especially taken ones and then act as if the single guy did something wrong when they are the ones in a relationship flirting behind their partners back.
Nonreciprocal relationships. Where I put in ALL the effort, and I get 10% back. I’ll never show it, but that shit eats at me, so I kill kids IN GAME on Fortnite haha
Something that bugs me way more than I let on is when people pretend to listen but you know they’re just waiting for their turn to talk. It’s not even always rude, it’s just disheartening.
Apparently online dating is stupid but pretty much any form of approaching someone in public is seen as creepy or intrusive so I guess I’ll just go fuck myself in terms of dating
Not being appreciated enough. It’s time we say goods to each other (both men and women) and find it weird or cringe, both platonically and romantically
Outdated perspectives on men. I see so many feminist arguments that just don’t chime with the reality I see around me, ideas like men don’t help enough with childcare or around the house, or men don’t want a woman to earn as much as or more than them, men are sexist creeps who see women as property and so on … I don’t know, maybe this is true in conservative parts of the US, but generally speaking my generation of guys (I’m 41) has always pitched in equally. I don’t know any dads who are troubled by their wives having their own careers or who don’t help with domestic work. Indeed, it’s quite clear to me that most of us are doing MORE than our wives. I’ve been my son’s primary caregiver. It’s not the 1970s anymore, but the way people speak about gender roles and male behaviour you’d think it was at times. It might be generational, so fair enough if it’s a 20yo talking about 20yo guys who like Andrew Tate, but men my age were raised right and are applying the lessons they were taught about respecting women. We deserve some recognition for that.
Like… DO YOU WADDLE IN TO THE BATHROOM ASS FIRST AND SIT ON SOMETHING THAT YOU HAVEN’T LOOKED AT FIRST?! I don’t care how tired or what time of the night it is!
The way people treat you when you don’t agree with them. It’s uncomfortable to have to pretend to be dumb or just not care about a topic you have an opinion on just because you can tell the other person is ready to crucify you if you so much as hint a having at different point of view.
Also, in general, that as a man, my opinion is inherently invalid in certain circles, so I’m expected to, and do stay quiet.
When wealthy people draw up the bridges. They vote for policies which punish the poor, and then blame poor people for supposedly not working as hard as them.
That when I was younger people appreciated having someone through good/bad thick/thin in relationships. Healthy ones that lasted many years. But now that I’m in my 30’s dating feels so much more fickle. People seem to throw in the towel much quicker I guess? I mean I get that it’s my fault for waiting so long, but I’d never say outloud I wish I was mature enough to settle down when I was younger.
I have a staff member that abuses the fuck out of caps lock. I’d never make a big deal of it because it’s mundane out of an otherwise capable employee, but holy fucking shit.
Honestly, one thing that annoys me way more than I let on as a man is when people casually disrespect my time. Not even in major ways. . .
Just the little things that pile up. Like saying “I’m ready” when they’re clearly not or having me pick them up and they still need to shower. Or when I text “I’m outside” and I’m just sitting in the car for 10+ minutes pondering life. Or when we said we were running into the store quickly and suddenly they’re browsing every aisle like it’s a shopping spree. Or when people hang out too long and can’t seem to read the room, even after I’ve changed clothes, started doing chores, or literally said “alright, I gotta get up early tomorrow.” Or a slow driver impeding the flow of traffic sucking seconds off my life like a micro-grim reaper.
It’s not even that I’m mad. . .
I just notice, and I end up keeping it to myself way more than I probably should.
I have no one to truly talk to about the shit in my life. The people around me say that I can but don’t actually give a shit and think less of me when I open up
The level of attention-seeking on social media that has become a drug-like addiction for some people, and the level of free validation that lonely people are prepared to spend on someone that doesn’t even know they exist.
I can’t figure out why there’s always piss all over everything in public restrooms. I mean, no one’s perfect, I miss sometimes too, in the middle of the night, half asleep, when I forget to turn on the light and can’t see what I’m doing. But what the hell guys, sometimes I think you must be missing on purpose. And it’s not just a few, from the looks of it. What the hell, seriously?
Kids that bully other kids. It happens sometimes at the school i teach at, and it really pisses me off. As a rule, I’m not supposed to speak Japanese to my students, but when I see it happen, I pull the kids back a minute and grill the hell out of them in their native tongue. I’ll even do it in front of all the other students, too.
Case in point, there’s a kid at my school. I met her dad. He’s a Nigerian fellow that works at a restaurant I frequent. I saw some girls pinching her skin and puling her hair. I grilled them good, made them apologize, and then I called their parents. Ain’t nobody getting bullied on my watch.
The lack of actually being told that you’re doing a good job.
You soon learn yu’re doing well because someone isn’t yelling at you, or complaining or generally just deriding you.
Like, if at work you make a sale big enough to be in the top 4 of the financial year, it’s “Well, why isn’t it number 1?” rather than simply “Hey, good job, well done”.
According to many people, you cannot have a platonic friendship with a woman.
The expectation is that if you are close to a woman, you must pursue her romantically, and if you two joke around together, people will say shit like “Get a room, you two!”, but they do not say this if you’re with your male friends.
My partner doing activities with a mutual friend that we had planned to do together. It’s not like we promised to go for the first time together, but it does take a bit of “magic” out of experiencing it as a couple. Never want to control or limit her experiences outside of our relationship though
Size discrimination and profiling, for context I’m a 6,3 broad shouldered blonde giant, and if so anything but smile I think I look terrifying and people have told me so, and yeah I do combat sports but I’m a pretty chill guy and a nerd. And sometimes when I ask someone out they say no because they’re intimidated even when I just kind of exist and I’m nice to everyone. I know like as far as issues go regarding this kinda stuff I have it easy but it still hurts
There’s way too little awareness about body dysmorphia, eating disorders, and body shaming for men.
Most gym bros I know could probably be clinically diagnosed. It’s terrifying seeing how many people are going on gear now, even fucking teenagers, wrecking their health because everyone’s perception of muscularity is so warped by social media.
I used to really struggle with body dysmorphia, and at one point even my (male) therapist at the time had the audacity to tell me that the solution to me being unable to look at myself naked without crying, and refusing to let my partner touch parts of me despite being in decent shape at a normal BMI, is to just go to the gym more and be stricter about my diet until I look how I want to.
My physical appearance. Us mid guys have to remain stylish and confident with any chance to compete, and that takes energy. You can’t let on, or you’ll shrink yourself, which makes you unattractive.
A lot of younger guys haven’t figured this out yet, so you’ll see posts on Reddit complaining about it. You can fix it, but the underlying resentment of the attractive and the attracted will still come to the surface sometimes.
I’m not a man (but I’m sure y’all can relate) , but I’ve noticed people love to talk over me, and I usually feel unheard and not really seen. It makes me feel invisible~ but then when I’m in a room full of people and they are somehow listening I feel uncomfortable cause the attention is on me. Weirddd
A lot of men are not shy to show how they feel about this particular topic but I tend to be less ostentatious. The way people paint men with a broad brush. Whenever I hear things like “men are trash” I get frustrated because the people saying that are usually the type who seeks to understand others, yet on this subject they are completely unwilling to understand the nuance. They don’t want to discuss how men are victims of their own toxicity. They speak as if men are born evil, not that there is such a toxic culture within masculinity that it turns men into monsters. They don’t want to understand that, yet understanding it is key to how we fix the problem within male culture.
The lack of understanding and the amount of indirect stigma that comes with being an autistic man. Of course women can get it too, but when I’m a 2m tall low support needs autistic guy it’s a very different vibe. I’ll often come across as very different to the stereotypical autistic person depicted in media so people don’t really understand that some of my behaviours come from that so if I say or do something that makes you uncomfortable, I am not trying to do that and if you explain it to me I will adapt those behaviours happily.
I grew up in house of women. Dad was a doctor, and when my parents split mum got primary custody so I spent most of my time with my two older sisters and mum, and my primary school was mostly girls because boys had to leave for years 5 and 6. As a result I’m generally a lot more comfortable around women than men, especially if it’s a large group of men (groups in general are already hard for me). So when I’m talking to a woman at a party, bar, just friendly hang in the park, I am most likely not hitting on them. I’m doing it because it’s a lot easier for me socially than talking to the men. To be clear, I do have guy friends that I’m very close to, but most of them I’ve known for nearly 20 years. But because I’m a dude and am actually taking a genuine interest in what a woman is saying, the automatic assumption is flirting. And because of my natural behaviours like stimming, avoiding eye contact etc they just think I’m a creep.
Also understanding that autism has a much higher co-morbidity with substance abuse disorder than the general population, but so much of the support and treatment is geared towards neurotypicals so it’s so much harder when we want to get sober to get effective treatment (this one isn’t just the men). And because things like alcohol are inhibition removing a lot of us turn to that to deal with uncomfortable social situations. But of course if I bring up any of these issues with friends, it often gets dismissed, so I sweep it under the rug and try to talk about normal stuff while trying to not let on that I am having a really difficult time just being in that conversation.
On one hand i am an absolute minimalist, my hobbies are writing poetry and doing sports so i really don’t need any money and i don’t drink or smoke, i only drink water aswell so i could really live off of very little money.
Which is fine for me, i hate matetialism because i think it is shallow and lacks meaning.
I don’t want to work for things i’d never use or desire.
But i realize that a vast majority of women want hyper successful men and diamonds and one of my biggest fears is getting old alone and then dying with no friends or family.
I want to find love.
I basically need to work like an idiot to get money i would never know how to use, just to find a woman who likely has the one personality trait i hate most in people and i fail to see an alternative.
Not blaming women here either, i think they are somewhat biologically programmed to seek successful men because of reptofuction and survival purposes.
I think that’s a primitive instinct you can’t get rid of, like men going “awooga” for boobs and ass.
Comments
People who only want me for sex or sexual intimacy. I’m all for it but it needs to be special. Not like something we do daily. Sometimes I just want to see a movie and cuddle.
Women are not having as much sex as they used to.
Unnecessary conversation for the sake of conversation. Get to the point and move the fuck on.
The current dating culture
Lack of kind words
Women who use men for attention especially taken ones and then act as if the single guy did something wrong when they are the ones in a relationship flirting behind their partners back.
Nonreciprocal relationships. Where I put in ALL the effort, and I get 10% back. I’ll never show it, but that shit eats at me, so I kill kids IN GAME on Fortnite haha
Spitting, I fucking hate when guys just start spitting on the ground near me.
Leaving the GD toilet seat and toilet cover down !
Something that bugs me way more than I let on is when people pretend to listen but you know they’re just waiting for their turn to talk. It’s not even always rude, it’s just disheartening.
“We choose the bear”
Listen, I get it. Lots of men are awful. But I hate that it’s become this men vs women thing.
A lot of men suck. A lot of women suck. You all go to therapy and us healed people can go on with our lives
Apparently online dating is stupid but pretty much any form of approaching someone in public is seen as creepy or intrusive so I guess I’ll just go fuck myself in terms of dating
Not being appreciated enough. It’s time we say goods to each other (both men and women) and find it weird or cringe, both platonically and romantically
My loneliness and lack of progress in life
Outdated perspectives on men. I see so many feminist arguments that just don’t chime with the reality I see around me, ideas like men don’t help enough with childcare or around the house, or men don’t want a woman to earn as much as or more than them, men are sexist creeps who see women as property and so on … I don’t know, maybe this is true in conservative parts of the US, but generally speaking my generation of guys (I’m 41) has always pitched in equally. I don’t know any dads who are troubled by their wives having their own careers or who don’t help with domestic work. Indeed, it’s quite clear to me that most of us are doing MORE than our wives. I’ve been my son’s primary caregiver. It’s not the 1970s anymore, but the way people speak about gender roles and male behaviour you’d think it was at times. It might be generational, so fair enough if it’s a 20yo talking about 20yo guys who like Andrew Tate, but men my age were raised right and are applying the lessons they were taught about respecting women. We deserve some recognition for that.
To be forgotten.
Not having made a permanent positive difference in anyone’s life.
Being bchd at for leaving the toilet seat up!
Like… DO YOU WADDLE IN TO THE BATHROOM ASS FIRST AND SIT ON SOMETHING THAT YOU HAVEN’T LOOKED AT FIRST?! I don’t care how tired or what time of the night it is!
The way people treat you when you don’t agree with them. It’s uncomfortable to have to pretend to be dumb or just not care about a topic you have an opinion on just because you can tell the other person is ready to crucify you if you so much as hint a having at different point of view.
Also, in general, that as a man, my opinion is inherently invalid in certain circles, so I’m expected to, and do stay quiet.
Taking the little things for granted
I will never be anyone’s priority. Not my wife. Not my kids. Not my parents. Not my own.
Even for ten minutes, I wish I could convince myself.
But I could disappear tomorrow and nobody would remember me in a week.
Sometimes, I just want my life to leave a mournfully empty and haunted place in the hearts of people around me.
Not vengeance. Not anger. Just wanting to be worth missing.
Incompetence
Workplace gossip. People say awful things about me and others when I am well within an earshot. Medical students are a hive.
When wealthy people draw up the bridges. They vote for policies which punish the poor, and then blame poor people for supposedly not working as hard as them.
How fucked up the world is getting so quickly.
Smart phones and the internet is absolutely killing human connection.
Noone asks how many women could take a gorilla.
Other dumb ass women hating/beating “men”.
That when I was younger people appreciated having someone through good/bad thick/thin in relationships. Healthy ones that lasted many years. But now that I’m in my 30’s dating feels so much more fickle. People seem to throw in the towel much quicker I guess? I mean I get that it’s my fault for waiting so long, but I’d never say outloud I wish I was mature enough to settle down when I was younger.
I have a staff member that abuses the fuck out of caps lock. I’d never make a big deal of it because it’s mundane out of an otherwise capable employee, but holy fucking shit.
People just expect me to lift everything for them 😔 daddy’s tired…
Socialising.
I’m seen as a bad person because I don’t want to go to social gatherings?
I’m happiest when I’m completely alone.
Sloppy eaters. I take customers out to dinner a lot and this drives me nuts. Same folks that talk with their mouth full of food as well.
When guys belch with out regard for others in the room
When people ask me (superficially) how I’m doing, and their eyes glaze over when I actually answer honestly.
My hair loss.
The past 10 years of radical feminism and the whole “Man are trash” thing.
I didnt take it personal for the first 8 years. But I cant anymore, and the vitriol is only getting worse day by day.
Also normalized, accepted and celebrated misandry everywhere you look.
Honestly, one thing that annoys me way more than I let on as a man is when people casually disrespect my time. Not even in major ways. . .
Just the little things that pile up. Like saying “I’m ready” when they’re clearly not or having me pick them up and they still need to shower. Or when I text “I’m outside” and I’m just sitting in the car for 10+ minutes pondering life. Or when we said we were running into the store quickly and suddenly they’re browsing every aisle like it’s a shopping spree. Or when people hang out too long and can’t seem to read the room, even after I’ve changed clothes, started doing chores, or literally said “alright, I gotta get up early tomorrow.” Or a slow driver impeding the flow of traffic sucking seconds off my life like a micro-grim reaper.
It’s not even that I’m mad. . .
I just notice, and I end up keeping it to myself way more than I probably should.
[deleted]
I have no one to truly talk to about the shit in my life. The people around me say that I can but don’t actually give a shit and think less of me when I open up
Ick. This.
Your role is to be Atlas for others
Negging. In all forms.
Birria broth that lacks flavor
The level of attention-seeking on social media that has become a drug-like addiction for some people, and the level of free validation that lonely people are prepared to spend on someone that doesn’t even know they exist.
Judgement and expectations from people i care about. Im trying my best at my pace, please give me space to grow and breathe.
I can’t figure out why there’s always piss all over everything in public restrooms. I mean, no one’s perfect, I miss sometimes too, in the middle of the night, half asleep, when I forget to turn on the light and can’t see what I’m doing. But what the hell guys, sometimes I think you must be missing on purpose. And it’s not just a few, from the looks of it. What the hell, seriously?
When two tables in a restaurant are pushed next to each other but aren’t lined up to be flush with one another
Kids that bully other kids. It happens sometimes at the school i teach at, and it really pisses me off. As a rule, I’m not supposed to speak Japanese to my students, but when I see it happen, I pull the kids back a minute and grill the hell out of them in their native tongue. I’ll even do it in front of all the other students, too.
Case in point, there’s a kid at my school. I met her dad. He’s a Nigerian fellow that works at a restaurant I frequent. I saw some girls pinching her skin and puling her hair. I grilled them good, made them apologize, and then I called their parents. Ain’t nobody getting bullied on my watch.
The lack of actually being told that you’re doing a good job.
You soon learn yu’re doing well because someone isn’t yelling at you, or complaining or generally just deriding you.
Like, if at work you make a sale big enough to be in the top 4 of the financial year, it’s “Well, why isn’t it number 1?” rather than simply “Hey, good job, well done”.
Everything
According to many people, you cannot have a platonic friendship with a woman.
The expectation is that if you are close to a woman, you must pursue her romantically, and if you two joke around together, people will say shit like “Get a room, you two!”, but they do not say this if you’re with your male friends.
I’m single now for 4 years. I’m in my mid fifties. I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my (15 yrs) life. I never tell anyone this.
My partner doing activities with a mutual friend that we had planned to do together. It’s not like we promised to go for the first time together, but it does take a bit of “magic” out of experiencing it as a couple. Never want to control or limit her experiences outside of our relationship though
People talking, droning on, an on.
Size discrimination and profiling, for context I’m a 6,3 broad shouldered blonde giant, and if so anything but smile I think I look terrifying and people have told me so, and yeah I do combat sports but I’m a pretty chill guy and a nerd. And sometimes when I ask someone out they say no because they’re intimidated even when I just kind of exist and I’m nice to everyone. I know like as far as issues go regarding this kinda stuff I have it easy but it still hurts
I hate spiders…
There’s way too little awareness about body dysmorphia, eating disorders, and body shaming for men.
Most gym bros I know could probably be clinically diagnosed. It’s terrifying seeing how many people are going on gear now, even fucking teenagers, wrecking their health because everyone’s perception of muscularity is so warped by social media.
I used to really struggle with body dysmorphia, and at one point even my (male) therapist at the time had the audacity to tell me that the solution to me being unable to look at myself naked without crying, and refusing to let my partner touch parts of me despite being in decent shape at a normal BMI, is to just go to the gym more and be stricter about my diet until I look how I want to.
My physical appearance. Us mid guys have to remain stylish and confident with any chance to compete, and that takes energy. You can’t let on, or you’ll shrink yourself, which makes you unattractive.
A lot of younger guys haven’t figured this out yet, so you’ll see posts on Reddit complaining about it. You can fix it, but the underlying resentment of the attractive and the attracted will still come to the surface sometimes.
I’ve gotta pay for the date when they asked or said wanna go somewhere and assume you pay for it cause you’re a man. My last girlfriend was like it
I’m not a man (but I’m sure y’all can relate) , but I’ve noticed people love to talk over me, and I usually feel unheard and not really seen. It makes me feel invisible~ but then when I’m in a room full of people and they are somehow listening I feel uncomfortable cause the attention is on me. Weirddd
A lot of men are not shy to show how they feel about this particular topic but I tend to be less ostentatious. The way people paint men with a broad brush. Whenever I hear things like “men are trash” I get frustrated because the people saying that are usually the type who seeks to understand others, yet on this subject they are completely unwilling to understand the nuance. They don’t want to discuss how men are victims of their own toxicity. They speak as if men are born evil, not that there is such a toxic culture within masculinity that it turns men into monsters. They don’t want to understand that, yet understanding it is key to how we fix the problem within male culture.
The lack of understanding and the amount of indirect stigma that comes with being an autistic man. Of course women can get it too, but when I’m a 2m tall low support needs autistic guy it’s a very different vibe. I’ll often come across as very different to the stereotypical autistic person depicted in media so people don’t really understand that some of my behaviours come from that so if I say or do something that makes you uncomfortable, I am not trying to do that and if you explain it to me I will adapt those behaviours happily.
I grew up in house of women. Dad was a doctor, and when my parents split mum got primary custody so I spent most of my time with my two older sisters and mum, and my primary school was mostly girls because boys had to leave for years 5 and 6. As a result I’m generally a lot more comfortable around women than men, especially if it’s a large group of men (groups in general are already hard for me). So when I’m talking to a woman at a party, bar, just friendly hang in the park, I am most likely not hitting on them. I’m doing it because it’s a lot easier for me socially than talking to the men. To be clear, I do have guy friends that I’m very close to, but most of them I’ve known for nearly 20 years. But because I’m a dude and am actually taking a genuine interest in what a woman is saying, the automatic assumption is flirting. And because of my natural behaviours like stimming, avoiding eye contact etc they just think I’m a creep.
Also understanding that autism has a much higher co-morbidity with substance abuse disorder than the general population, but so much of the support and treatment is geared towards neurotypicals so it’s so much harder when we want to get sober to get effective treatment (this one isn’t just the men). And because things like alcohol are inhibition removing a lot of us turn to that to deal with uncomfortable social situations. But of course if I bring up any of these issues with friends, it often gets dismissed, so I sweep it under the rug and try to talk about normal stuff while trying to not let on that I am having a really difficult time just being in that conversation.
Superficial existences masquerading as meaningful ones.
On one hand i am an absolute minimalist, my hobbies are writing poetry and doing sports so i really don’t need any money and i don’t drink or smoke, i only drink water aswell so i could really live off of very little money.
Which is fine for me, i hate matetialism because i think it is shallow and lacks meaning.
I don’t want to work for things i’d never use or desire.
But i realize that a vast majority of women want hyper successful men and diamonds and one of my biggest fears is getting old alone and then dying with no friends or family.
I want to find love.
I basically need to work like an idiot to get money i would never know how to use, just to find a woman who likely has the one personality trait i hate most in people and i fail to see an alternative.
Not blaming women here either, i think they are somewhat biologically programmed to seek successful men because of reptofuction and survival purposes.
I think that’s a primitive instinct you can’t get rid of, like men going “awooga” for boobs and ass.
People wearing Ear Buds literally everywhere. And when you try to engage with them you get a “Huh”
My wife nagging me
My mother-in-law not respecting personal space and listening to what I say 👍