Men who are in a stable long-term relationship but don’t want to get married, why not?
Men who are in a stable long-term relationship but don’t want to get married, why not?
r/AskMen
Men who are in a stable long-term relationship but don’t want to get married, why not?
Comments
Men don’t benefit very much from marriage.
I know a lady who has been with a guy for almost 20 years, engaged for close to 10 and will never get married.
She had a rough upbringing and she said that she would feel trapped in a marriage where just being perpetually engaged feels safer.
I look around and see everyone’s relationships getting worse after marrying. The advantages are slim to none, just extra baggage. I don’t need it, I habe no use for it. 11 years in a happy non-married relationship.
My grandpa had a wedding but they just never legally got married, why involve the state?
Marriage would make things more complicated. For now it seems like an unnecessary step. I’m happy with what we have, as it is. It’s sustainable and stable because we both have strong extended families in the background. I imagine people who do really want marriage are looking to tie something (someone) down whom they aren’t confident will stay otherwise.
There’s no point.
I feel like the amount of guys who are married cause “she wanted too” is way higher than it should be.
Marriage is more of a women’s dream, men don’t even think of it
We’re happy. It wouldn’t benefit either of us. It’s simpler. No kids, so separation would be much easier.
Why would you?
That was me for a long time. Just felt like it wasn’t time. But, I’m gonna propose next weekend!
Too much liability. The only purpose for marriage is family and I’m too old to start another one. If something happens to the wife, I’ve had my family I’m done. I’ll never get married again.
Outside of personal commitment, it’s little more than a financial agreement any more.
Because I don’t want to marry her entire family, which would be included. Plus the risk of her running away taking part of my finances.
Also no marriage without a prenuptial for me, which would be seen as a possible vote of no trust / confidence
Because marriage is like holding a gun to our head and giving the one holding it every incentive in the world to pull the trigger. Marriage always leads to divorce and divorce is a life destroying event. Why would any man want to destroy his commitment with a woman by getting married?
Marriage is designed to screw over men in every possible way. It’s also now become a litmus test for men to see just how real a woman’s love is. If a woman cannot distinguish between marriage and real love then men will know she is only interested in him as a means to an end, and not on the man himself.
Women who want marriage are telling on themselves that they’re only interested in what a man provides and have the intention to keep extracting his resources, through the force of the legal system, even after they choose to dump him through legal coercion and force (divorce). It’s incredibly telling and disturbing how women keep pretending like they don’t comprehend why men are not willing to play along with getting screwed over by women who pretend to love them.
Yes I am in a committed, stable, and long term relationship, and no I am not ever going to get married. I have spoken to my gf about this and she knows that the moment marriage is on the table it may as well be a pistol because they are both a threat and they both signal the end of the relationship.
My girlfriend and I have been together for eight years. We are the love of each other‘s lives. We are absolutely committed to one another and we’ll take the Pepsi challenge our relationship with anyone else.
We just don’t believe in getting married. Both of us are divorced. The institution doesn’t make any sense. Yeah, eventually we will probably get a Power of attorney for important decisions. But marriage. Marriage makes no sense to us.
I’ll go a step further and say that I think that marriage weakens relationships. Once you start taking your partner for granted, which is kind of what the promise of marriage is, then you stop actively choosing each other each and every day.
There isnt really anything marriage affords you that you cant have outside of marriage. And in the highly likely chance that relationship ends, it is MUCH easier to do so when not married. No lawyers, no paperwork, easy.
To be honest I really don’t see the point other than maybe health insurance benefits. I know way too many people going thru ugly divorces than I know people who are in truly happy marriages.
That being said I have a child on the way and most likely will marry her at some point because she is the mother of my future child and I want to make her happy if it’s what she wants.
I would really like to sign a prenup tho. She makes slightly more money than me, so it’s not about that. but I think I’ve seen enough ugly splits to realize it would simplify a split, god forbid.
See the decision making as a scale.
Nowadays, what are the pro/con argument for the marriage ?
– Most divorce are initiated by women and you can lose a lot in the process financially
– You can have children without being married.
– There is no prejudice anymore against children born out of wedlock
– Women (most in western countries) doesn’t hold sex anymore until marriage. You can have sex even without giving relationship in exchange.
– Women accept to live together, doing exactly things as married couple
– Parents (on both side) don’t push you to marry anymore (they can have grandchild even without that)
– Marriage doesn’t assure fidelity
These things (and certainly more) were big incentive for men to marry and weighed a lot on the scale. Pushing them to marry.
Not anymore.
So the questions should be “why man still get married”.
Marriage is more a women dream than men.
I’m not saying there is no point. But objectively, there is not a lot of “pro” argument left for men.
Marriage.
Been married not doing it again, ended up with nothing, courts are biased towards women especially when kids involved, was married 20 years.
Hurts less if the gf cheats on you. You can just move on to the next without having to give up half your shit.
A better question is why get married? I don’t want to merge finances with another women, I don’t want to have kids, not sure I even want to live with a woman full time again. So not
Much motivation to marry.