Explanation: we all have that idea of the “perfect” partner in our minds. Yet many of us get together with people who are average-looking and who contain numerous personality flaws.
Men who are married or in a relationship, how close is your SO to your ideal?
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Since you shitlords like to delete your posts, here’s an original copy of /u/AbandonedBySonyAgain’s post (if available):
Explanation: we all have that idea of the “perfect” partner in our minds. Yet many of us get together with people who are average-looking and who contain numerous personality flaws.
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I’d say she’s my 100% ideal.
Pobody’s nerfect, and being “average-looking” or containing “personality flaws” is not incongruent with being someone’s ideal. That’s the magic.
I don’t know that I had an ideal before, but she’s better than I could have ever imagined. She’s brilliant and driven and kind and stunning. She’s beautiful and so sexy and loves me in a way I know I don’t deserve. I’ve never wanted anything the way I want her. I’m so thankful for every day I get with her.
Btw: we met in our 40s. I thought I knew what love was. I thought I understood passion and intimacy and connection. I thought I’d experienced amazing sex. Maybe I had, but this is different. I didn’t know it could be like this
Your hypothesis is flawed from the start. We all have different standards and preferences. A woman with curves could be fat for someone but the perfect body type for another. Most of us are average looking to some and handsome to others.
Perfection doesn’t exist but my girl is as close as it gets and that’s why she’s the one I chose. I didn’t date a single other woman after meeting her because I knew I wouldn’t find better.
I just wanted someone to love me and let me love them back. Someone who makes me happy and that I can make happy.
I have exactly what I want, couldn’t ask for much more than that.
Not close at all, but it still works
I’m a 5 but she’s a 3 but nowadays for females you add 2 and for males you subtract 2 therefore I’m ugly and now a 3 and she’s a 5. Make sense right lol
My idea of my ideal woman morphed to fit my wife.
After chasing “ideal” partners for awhile and getting them and then realizing I didn’t want that, I’ve realized it’s all about chemistry and emotional connection not just ticking boxes on looks or occupation. My girl is really skinny, that was a big turn off for me but because we have a great emotional connection I’ve never been more attracted to anyone.
More perfect than i am to my own ideal
She just is the ideal for me
I thought I knew what my “ideal” was until I met my partner and realized what it was a good relationship really meant/looked like for me. The imperfections or appearance “ideals” suddenly mattered so much less.
Nobody is perfect, but I would say my wife is perfect for me because we always work together. If I communicate that I’m struggling with something or would like something to change, my wife is always more than enthusiastic about finding a solution and vice versa. That makes all the difference, but I will say I am also more attracted to her than I have ever been to anyone else so I don’t even look at other people tbh.
If she wasn’t so messy she’d be perfect. But she’s next to perfect.
I never looked for a perfect partner. That simple. As life would eventually show – everyone has flaws.
They aren’t even close to my “ideal” physically, but they are very close to my ideal in most other ways.
I’ve dated all types, from models to extremely average (some have said below average) looking, and that’s not what makes a good relationship. You may convince yourself to stay longer with someone because you think they’re hot, but if they are shit people, they are shit people.
Or, as it’s been said many times, Beauty may only be skin deep, but ugly goes down to the bone. Hint: They’re not talking about unattractive looks.
My wife is the perfect ideal for me, there is no other. She’s insanely attractive, kind, smart, funny. Even when she has what others might consider to be flaws, they’re really just tests for me as a husband to deal with. As dumb as it sounds, when you love someone, even someone’s downsides turn to lovable things that God uses to teach us more about other people, ourselves, and Him.
Very close. She’s funny, she matches my energy, humor, balances out my immorality, very understanding and helpful. Also she’s hot af. Like, perfect in every way.
95% we have some personality conflicts once in a while but that’s normal
Not very.
My “ideal” was doing me no favors, and I made a conscious decision to try and date against type
Years later…so far, so good 👍🏻
Well the reasoning is very obvious. Since, there are way more men than woman on dating apps and women have become highly independent and successful, own their own homes, even make more money than some
Men there is not a need for men to provide. Therefore, woman can be more selective and many women are choosing to be gay or not date at all because no men meet their standards. Also, OLD has tricked over to irl dating as men are judged with the same standards as if they were on a dating app. This has inflated the standards in the dating market for men.
Thus the reason for my scale, essentially men have lost value while the value of women has increased. Supply and demand. You can see this reflected in many comments from women saying “I only want a man that provides value to my life or a man is competing with my peace of mind”. Of course I would say this phenomenon is mainly generalized to large metropolitan cities and not rural areas.
I don’t have a specific Galatea in my Pygmalion brain that I weigh every woman against.
Lot of very happy guys with great partners in this chat. Love to see it, and love being one of them. Wouldn’t change a thing about my SO.
She’s everything I could’ve dreamed and more!!
I found the perfect girl, much better than what I’ve been looking for before I met her
My opinion is thst having a “fantasy or dream partner” isn’t a fair expectation to set on any partner.
You look for qualities you appreciate. Kind, understanding, empathetic, giving, and self-sacrificing when needed. Those are all things I love about my partner. She’s so far beyond anything I could have imagined that any prior expectations basically stop being relavent.
I was hoping for two additional boobs on the back otherwise close enough.
She redefined all my ideals, my imagination couldn’t produce anything close to her perfection.
Exceeded my ideal. I just got very lucky.
My SO is very different from everyone I dated in the past, basically not my ideal. I am outgoing, passionate and energetic and all my EXes were kinda like me. My SO is the exact opposite. Calm and super reserved! When we committed, I was kinda scared it won’t last. Guess what, this less than ideal character trait has been the glue that has bound us together the last 16 years.
My Wife is the best and fulfilled my expectations completely. And now she is supporting me in every aspect of my life as it is now. Thank you
She is my ideal.
But my ideal changed by been with her, she is all the things in a partner I thought I wanted and a bunch more I was too dumb to realise I should want.
She’s smart as fuck, funny, confident, independent, caring, thoughtful and emotionally stable and emotionally available, driven (not just in her career), loving and sexy – and been with her genuinely makes me a more complete person.
I’m a female sorry for answering it’s just you guys have better interesting subjects and questions.
My SO is far from my ideal or taste I’ve always dated older men at least 15 years older than me and I ended up with someone close to my age but looks significantly younger than me.