dealing with this currently with my boyfriend and i don’t know why or what I can do to change it. tired of trying to dress up and get turned down for sex every time lol
men who lost sexual interest in their partner over time…… what happened?
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She got fat and refused to lose the weight.
She stopped putting out.
She lost sexual Interest in me š¤·āāļø
So I stopped trying
I spent 6 years with her. When I met her I knew she had anxiety but I didnāt realize how bad it actually was. I spent more of my energy and time over those years making sure she was okay and growing as a person with me but it got to a point that I lost myself. She kept upping her meds and wouldnāt be honest with her therapist. The dosage of her meds pretty much turned off her sexual desire which was fine because I loved her. We would go a month or so without any intimacy. She started to drink alcohol on the regular along with her meds and that would really be the only time she would become intimate. But the fact that she was drinking so much concerned me and she had no regard for my opinion. Her anxiety did not get any better and the drinking got worse. I had lost myself and grew ultra depressed. I started waking up every morning to make the choice to love her for about a year and didnāt really care to be intimate with her at that point. So I left.
It became less about sex itself and more about her wanting a baby š
Porn
She gained weight. It wasn’t the baby.
She was emotionally abusive. Even though I was still attracted to her physically, I was not emotionally.
after 20 years of her saying no way more than yes, i just tuned out and moved on to other things
I think that the most common reasons are:
she says no too often and he gets frustrated and stops trying
her physical appearance changes significantly (like large weight gain or something else fairly dramatic)
issues in the relationship outside the bedroom
he likes variety and she’s very vanilla and wants to do the same thing every time and that gets less exciting for him
Sometimes overuse of porn can cause it too, but my guess is that the porn use is usually because of one of the above things.
Also, there could be health issues or medications causing it.
Do any of those sound possible in your case?
She cheated. That is all.
I became fixated on honey chipotle mozzarella sticks at Chiliās. They became my life. Nothing else mattered but the pull. She didnāt understand, so I left. I need someone in my life that can appreciate the pull and flavor like I do.
She complained a lot and never wanted to do anything fun or new. Eventually we just stopped going places because I was like I can not socialize with other people and only talk to you at home, for free. Then eventually I just stopped caring about sex at all
Iām the opposite. My wife is in her mid 30s, getting thicker, freakier and losing inhibitions in bed.
Do some dirty talk
Or give your partner some space literally he or she came to you
Was an amicable split up. Like legit right after we broke up, people were asking me how I was and I was like: “Honestly. I feel fine. I don’t really feel sad or anything. Just the same”. Hope she felt the same and she wasn’t sad about it either.
This can have many reasons.
Libido decreases with age. It doesn’t work so well anymore.
Stress. You wouldn’t believe what stress can do. Either way, it is pure poison for the body.
Medication. There are many medications, especially psychotropic drugs, that have a negative impact on sexuality.
As you can see, it doesn’t always have to be the woman’s fault.
Nothing changed physically, but her corporate middle-management/HR personality turned me off over time.
Relationship dynamics. I slowly but steadily started to lose attraction. I couldn’t figure out why. I thought it was physical, but not really.
After therapy and reflection, it was a combination of factors. I was drained. Demands and pressures from early on, a lot of time together (pandemic and international move), lack of personal spaces. Sex lacked fire, exploration. It was boring. At some point it just turned into a task.
Ultimately, I couldn’t see her as sexually desirable even though I loved her with my entire soul. She asked for more, and guilt was crippling for me, because I didn’t have enough clarity and I had a tendency to over protect her.
Complex stuff. But usually lack of sex comes from an underlying issue.
Seems like the common thing is 1) nonstop rejection and hasnāt been said here yet 2) many women have a reactive rather than spontaneous arousalāyet even knowing this, when a man gives her that massage or whatever physical touch to get her to be aroused, she still rejects him because āthatās all he wantsā.
Itās a lose lose. Donāt get married or separate when she stops putting out. Plenty of younger ladies falsely assuming every 30+ year old has money thatās willing to hand out butt.
I didn’t lose interest, just my libido. A daily zinc supplement got me back in the game.
For me it was having performance issues and just fear of not being able to satisfy her/me. But once that was solved it went back to normal
Nothing really. We just got used to each other.
i couldent be her father, therapist, boyfriend but not her best friend at the same time. everything was about her regardless of how i felt, i just didnt have any libido anymore
They stopped wanting to have sex. Add a dash of resentment and voila
If he’s not interested, it’s because of what happens IN the bed, not before it. That dude can’t eff your fishnets.
Being treated like a ATM is a buzzkill.
How old is he? When my (now) wife and I first started dating, she was 28 and I was 36. She wanted it all the time, twice a day most days. I couldn’t keep up š plus, going at it that often made it feel routine. There’s only so much you can do that many times to keep it fresh and exciting.
At one point I had to just be like, “look. It’s not you, I’m just tired and would like to just relax and watch TV or something”. We would still have sex, but not on a crazy high frequency.
10 years later and she’s still my favorite person, but now I’m the one that wants it all the time š and, of course, we’ve slowed down on the honeymoon sex after ten years, but still go at it probably twice a week. When we do, though, it’s stellar.
You’re obviously an attractive woman, maybe he’s just bored. It could be age, hormones, someone else, anything. It could be he’s stressed about something and just has no drive.
With my first wife in my mid 20s, we went nuts a lot. Had multiple shared partners, partied, you name it. At some point, my down-there dude just stopped working. It got so embarrassing that I stopped trying to initiate sex because of it. I went to doctors, got pills, had testosterone tests done, etc. Nothing worked and everything seemed fine. The only way I could perform is if we were partying with other women. After we split up, I took a few years off dating to figure out what was going on. Turns out, I just wasn’t into her like I thought I was. I was into the thought of being with her, but lost the love I had for her.
I don’t know, maybe some insight. Have a serious, sit down conversation with him about it. You both might find some unhappy truths, or you might become closer than ever.
She gained 30 kg
Could it be the nudes you post on Reddit? Maybe he’s not a fan. Rule violation by the way.
Edit: deleting the r/normalnudes post doesn’t negate my question.
Send him nudes while heās at work. I come home ready when my wife does that. Also ask him to send to d pics too
I have never lost interest. I stopped wanting it from her when I had to follow specific rules, observe all her “guidelines”, follow a schedule., etc. It became a chore. Hell, wasn’t allowed to kiss her without prior authorization! Well, not really but it felt like it. If I leaned in for a kiss, she leaned away. Kinda hard to keep interest after a few years of that. So I stopped trying to initiate and waited on her to do so. Longest was 4 years? Not the worst problem we had but much happier with Rosie Palm than I was when we were married.
Sour attitude and enough nagging can kill any sexlife.
Not all her fault, but not all mine either, just the slow fade of time and incompatibility.
Id really appreciate if that someone in my life bothered to dress up, or atleast even wash upā¦
It happened with my ex. First I lost interest because she was bad in bed. Her technique ranged from lazy to painful. Later I completely lost interest when she started acting like my impossible to please manager. She thought a relationship was all about her needs and treating me like shit.
Stress, exhaustion, to name a few. The constant need to be attached to me like a conjoined twin or on the phone with me when we’re not together.
She got fat
Bad hygiene on her part . That’s probably the worst one. I need her to be showered and them teeth brushed otherwise I’m kinda grossed out.
Disinterest in my advances.Ā
Wanting it after I just got done doing back breaking manual labor and I just want to goddamn sleep in the bed in the house that I paid for.
Another was just really fucking annoying and the more comfortable she became around me, the less pleasant it was to have her around.
Unclear advances from the woman is a common one. Like, use your words and see if that helps. Trying to read hints like I’m looking for zodiac signs in entrails is annoying.
I spent all my free time cleaning up after that bitch and cooking. While working full time. It didn’t leave me feeling in the mood to do all the work in bed too.
get new bf, id do u