Moving next week from our very exciting neighborhood where we rent a 2 bedroom and have no yard, to a place a bit farther out where we bought our first home. A 4 bedroom SFH with a nice little yard. We love the house and are excited to be homeowners, but are a little sad about leaving our fun neighborhood. A major part of the decision is that we will likely begin trying to have kids in about a year.
Where we are moving isnt techincally a suburb but it feels like one . Men who have done similar hows that gone?
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I definitely save money no longer being stumbling distance from anything I could want to do: bars, movie theaters, best restaurants in town, hardware store, etc.
When it’s right around the corner it’s easy to sink a bunch of money into convenience and fun. I cook at home more now, I walk a lot more plus the bus stops running before the bars close so I’m not staying out ultra late on a whim. The space is nice; I can let the cats go have fun in the yard outside, we’re thinking of getting a small dog sometime soon. All in all it was a good move for where I am in my life right now.
I spent my early 30s in a small town, after having lived in suburban areas. Every now and then I’ll return and see what’s going on. Every now and again I’ll daydream about returning (usually to see old friends).
At first it really sucked. Meeting people was tough. My friends were an hour or more away. I wasn’t attached to anyone at the time, and there were few, if any, people my age there.
As time went on though, I slowed down the pace of that place. I became more interested in hiking and just being outdoors. I read more. I practiced guitar more.
Places did pop up – lotsa small bars – but those were also owned by people who moved to the area.
Just because a place is currently slow doesn’t mean it will remain slow. And just because it’s slow compared to what you’re used to doesn’t mean you can’t adjust your schedule. AND if you’re going to start a family, you’ll want a slower paced way of life – the child will take up a lot of your time.
Moving is always exciting to me, it means new opportunities. You never know about the hidden gems until you get there.
Good luck!
It’s… alright. I’ve enjoyed getting to grill and we have a fantastic backyard setup so I do like that. But many years on I still miss living in a walkable area and am very much looking forward to moving back closer to downtown once the kids go off to college.
We’re pretty active though so YMMV depending on how often you still enjoy going out as you get older. We’re pretty atypical in that regard. So we just budget for Uber and/or parking.
But also the daily grind of taking care of kids (especially when they’re younger) will naturally put a limit on that anyways compared to when you’re younger.
Moved from a 1 bed luxury apartment in Silicon Valley, to a neighboring suburb 4bed house.
The apartment was everything you would think it is. Young professionals out working by the day, hanging out at the top floor infinity pool at night. Every weekend someone was having a party on that top floor with a giant movie sized tv by poolside for their party. Because you couldn’t rent it out officially, it made it so any party up there had to be open. This lead to meeting lots of people. It was one of the places I met the most people outside college/high school.
The 4 bedroom house we bought was a far cry from that. It was suburbia and the neighbors are nice, but they keep to themselves. They will have a yearly bbq where all the neighbors mingle, but that’s about most of the interaction I get.
I wouldn’t say I miss the apartment, but I do cherish the times and fun I had there. And the neighborhood I’m currently in, while not bustling like the apartment, is a perfect place to raise kids. What it comes down to is what stage in your life do you want to be in; there is no wrong answer.
We rarely get out for anything adult-oriented. Our neighbors are all at least 10 years older than we are. There aren’t any kids our kids ages who live “down the street”.
On the plus side, work and kids activities keep us so busy that we don’t have time for ourselves anyway.
My favorite place to go is the country. It’s peaceful and quiet. Have 10 acres in south Missouri, woods on 3 sides and a lake on the other. National forests and army corps of engineers land too. So no more development
We had the opposite happen. We were in a nice neighborhood, people were out and about a lot but never got to know anyone as everyone was in their own little world, and we were a 10min walk from a lot of restaurants and bars downtown. We moved out of that area to a larger house, to a quiet neighborhood and within a couple of months we knew every person who lived in our cul-de-sac. Fast forward 6ish years and our kids play in the street, we have bbqs and fires in the winter months and bbqs and pool parties in the summer and just hang out with each other a lot, more often than I do with a lot of my close friends and family.
So you never know what you’re really getting into until you move in and talk to those around you, you might end up having a great time in your new spot in ways the old spot lacked.
One thing you will find, is the only time you’ll see your city friends is when you go to the city. They won’t come to visit you.
Obviously that’s a bit of a hyperbole. Some/most of your friends will come visit at some point. But the difference is, when you live in the city, you’re bound to have a lot of random semi-unplanned interactions with people you know. Like the “Oh, Jim’s at the bar? May as well pop in and say hello” type thing, you won’t have that anymore. Instead you’ll have to call Jim and organise a whole day to come out for a visit. If you’re getting on the sauce you’ll want somewhere to put him (maybe his +1) up for the night.
And purely because traveling out of the city and staying somewhere for the night is a much bigger ask than just seeing them somewhere mutually close to where you both live, it will happen far less frequently. It takes energy and effort for you to organize, and it takes energy and effort for your guests to attend. No one’s ever just “in the neighborhood”…(or at most it’s a rare occurrence). Every social interaction becomes very much a deliberately planned event, and if it’s ever going to be at your house, you will be the one doing the planning.
My wife and I did the same thing – moved out of the city to a satellite town about 30km’s away so we could buy our first house. On one hand it’s great- we do like having our own space. And the upside is when we do see our city friends it’s all the more special because it’s rare.
On the other hand… I remember the first time I saw pics on social media of all my friends randomly getting together on one of those crazy spontaneous nights where fun shit just occurs without anyone having planned anything… Another time I actually organised something where I went to the city for a big night and half the crew was hungover from the previous nights activities that I wasn’t there for. It can be quite isolating. I don’t blame my friends, I’m thrilled for them to be having a good time, and what, are they supposed to put their fun on hold until I get there? Obviously that would be ridiculous. But… y’know. I still can’t help just feeling that fomo.
I’m constantly fixing shit in my house. I normally enjoy home projects but being a parent at same time means the list builds up and everything becomes a stressor cause it’s not done fast enough.
Moved out to a rural area.
Can basically do anything in my yard without worry of annoying neighbors…be it target shooting, riding quad bikes, burn piles, playing loud music ..doesn’t matter…it is lovely
It went great!
That said, I may not be a good data point. Once upon a time I lived in San Diego. To me, that place is the third ring of Hell. My point being that living in an “exciting area” was never something I enjoyed.
We moved back to the city, we’ve realized we are just city people
Almost five years ago we moved from apartment living in Chicago to a house in the N. Illinois suburbs.
I have lived in major (walkable with good public transit) cities for my whole adult life and the move has been really hard. There is absolutely no social life in the ‘burbs. Going anywhere and doing anything requires getting in a car. The summers are pretty good because we live next to a lake and get to swim and sail, and I love gardening. But the winters (six months of the year) are miserable.
It’s good. Needed the space and the investment. Son will be 17 this year and was able to stay in the same school district the whole time. Sometimes goodtimes come to an end but it doesn’t have to be the only goodtimes🤗
I spent most of my 20’s in downtown Denver. Absolutely loved it. Im married and have a baby now–suburban Atlanta is equally as awesome for this stage of my life. It’s significantly more affordable. I have a spacious house in a nice neighborhood in a great school district for what a shitty 2-bedroom condo would have cost in Denver.
Maybe not the question… But I moved from the second biggest city in my province to a small town on a west coast island.
I fucking love it. The lifestyle is way different and I’m definitely a different person than I used to be. But it’s been a fantastic shift.
I’d say, remember why you’re moving, because it will be a big change. Be open minded to growing into this next step and do the things you see yourself doing in the new house. Mindset is everything. Embrace it and thrive or rot with regret.
I did that 17 years ago. I used to rent a nice apt in a major city. Themoved to my wife’s hometown in a rural area. I don’t like it, but just deal with it. Before I got married, I partied a lot. Now I barely drink out of choice. I realized I don’t really enjoy drinking. It’s okay. I pursue my other interests. It’s fine I was ready for family life.
My wife and I progressively moved from renting in a “Redfin hottest neighborhood” to buying in a dense urban/suburban area to buying in a fairly typical suburban area. There are benefits to each- right now I wish more things were walkable but the city has put in sidewalks on the major nearby roads so I can piece together a pretty long run without driving anywhere else or making loops; we have a great “practice” neighborhood for the kids to learn how to be safe around cars without worrying us too much; there are occasionally eagles and herons that roost in the area, which is pretty cool. Once you are a parent, going to a bar, restaurant or music venue takes a lot of preparation anyway, so even if we were a block or two away it’s not like we could go every weekend night.
You make your own fun. Listen to beer and drink music in the backyard or drive somewhere and rip burnouts late at night.
People slow down as they age, and what they once value shifts, especially when they start having kids
20’s lived in the city, always lived in <800sq ft. Eat out a lot, spend a lot more attending events, usually out on the weekend.
30’s have a kid, I crave the extra space to have room for child to grow in and not feel cluttered. Instead of eating out at the latest restaurant, I find a new passion in cooking good food at home. I go out far less as your friends are busy in their own life so going to a bar becomes a once a month kind of deal.
Overall, I enjoy the bigger space, savings, and creating entertainment in my house. I do miss the culture, where I can walk out the door and there is so much to see and do, now I have to drive to any activities. The adjustment isn’t huge in your 30’s, but it would be impactful if you move to a suburbs in your 20’s
Absolutely fucking awesome, I have a beautiful backyard that butts up to a tributary that ultimately feeds into a river, I’ve taught my daughter’s how to fish and my dog is living in Paradise, all for a fraction of the price compared to the cost of living in a cramped, smelly city. To top it off, I’m only a 10-minute drive from said city.
I honestly couldn’t be happier
Moved from West Coast to Midwest. Wow, 20 years gone now and I would not change it. Quality of life changes are real. Not house poor, good education for kids, cheaper overall cost of living.
All this means I can afford to save and also do fun stuff like travel, while friends who stand behind are still struggling in a rat race. The bad is the area I moved to has become more conservative, and it gets real cold. But the trade offs seem worth it and I have saved a lot for an early retirement.
I have embraced my life as a suburban dad and I couldn’t be happier.
Get to know your neighbours – good parties in the ‘burbs man!
Do you have kids? If so, great move! You’ll love it. Feel free to spend a bit on Ubers to stay social.
If not? No you probably did it too early.