I’m 23, unemployed and sleep all day and stay up all night. Ive lost muscle, ive gotten skinnier. I weigh 107 lbs & just feel fragile all the time. I need some motivation cause i cant take this anymore.
Men who were lazy and unemployed, when did you know it was time to change?
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When I realized no one was going to feed, clothe and house me for free.
Also 23, but this happened to me when I was 18.
Realised that no one’s coming to save me. As a man, if you’re down – that’s it. There’s no marrying a rich husband or any neat trick like that.
You gotta realise that it’s just you. Alone. And whilst that’s sad in itself, it propelled me to get my shit together.
Set goals. I found this really important in developing discipline. You can’t rely on always having a mindset that is beneficial e.g. going to work on Monday after a fun weekend. But setting goals will help you focus on the long term, even when your mood is low.
I also recommend being around successful people as much as possible as it rubs off on you. Like their good habits, discipline, positivity etc. You will benefit from just being around them.
One day I was sitting in my chair and I asked myself ‘Who’s gonna carry the boats?’, and I realized that no one would carry the boats, unless I did. So I stood up. I am boaticus.
When the money was beginning to run dry.
I changed after some years of reminding myself that if I wanna make a good life for myself I have to get up and do something.
Inspiring myself by listening to music or discussions and exposing myself to other people’s opinions also helped, but it was mostly me thinking about it and saying “if I want a better life, then it’s gonna come down to me. I can’t wait around for the possibility that maybe someone will do it all for me.”
I am 31, it happened to me at 24yo. I was without driving license and job after uni, stayed at my parent home unemployed because I was living in little village in the middle of nowhere. One day I realized that if I don’t move, I would stay there forever and for once, my parents couldn’t do it for me. I got a job in a town 1h away from my village and rented a flat there, after a few years I got an offer to work abroad (Switzerland) and I moved there and met my girlfriend and we are not living together, happy and with my life finally sorted out. It’s possible to sort it out and it’s never too late.
Are you proud of what you are? That’s when I wanted to change.
If you are unemployed, that means someone is sponsoring your lifestyle. Which is extra burden on that person. If you going like this, you are in your comfort zone and to get out of it, you need to be put in discomfort zone.
Hunger and homelessness is a great motivator to get of your hole and do something about it. Your “sponsor” needs to get finger out and cut you off and let your start your life.
the cavalry’s not coming
It starts by being honest with yourself. Do not lie to yourself by rationalizing excuses that are not the true reason as to why things are the way they are.
Do you want more? Are you OK with living the way you do? Why do you want to change? What is preventing you from applying for job at a fast food restaurant and starting from there? Are you depressed? Keep asking yourself and answer honestly. Then, think of immediate solutions to problems; things you can do today that will lead you towards that solution.
30, pretty demoralized, no change. The problem isn’t that I’m not doing anything. The problem is that I’m aging. Jobs should be automated and aging should be solved, otherwise no future for me.
All the time, but it needed to get to the point I was either going to kill myself, or do something about it all. I was heavily leaning on the suicide option, had a noose ready and all. But ultimately I was too worried I was gonna mess it up somehow and, more importantly, knew that it would severely fuck up a bunch of people dear to me. So I started taking steps to change my life around.
I know all the hot gals have the looser boyfriend, if you were that dude, you wouldn’t be depressed. Get a decent job, build your credit. Ladies love good credit score and a good job.
My first step would be to simply leave the house. I would go for long walks without any music and podcasts just to clear my head and allow thoughts that would be otherwise suppressed by phone and PC to go through. Make this a habit to leave your house every day even if you don’t want to. Then I would probably think about what I actually want to do in my life. What I’m good at and what I’m missing to get a job I want
I had that moment when I was 20-22. I was really down in the dumps, unmotivated, unemployed and just super lazy. All my friends and family were on my ass saying “go get a job!! You’re such & such years old and you do blah blah blah” (I mainly remember my older sister saying this , who I rarely saw or communicated with throughout my life) and just ignored her. I just stayed home and played video games all day and everyday.
One day, I went to my grandmother’s apartment with my mom, pops and other family members. We would visit her somewhat often since she had a nursing aide and Alzheimer’s Disease. My god father pulled me aside, along with my god brothers and told me about this program that helps young men in need of work and gives them free suits and stuff. The one thing they left out was that it was meant for young men involved in the justice system and I started attending a week later.
In order to get in, it was a 2 week course & you had to do an interview with the owner of the program (who was also super rich) and he knew I wasn’t involved but considering I already did the 2 weeks, and he would of felt bad for kicking me out after staying that long. He accepted me in anyway and the social workers there accepted me as well. They treated me like family, helped me as much as possible. There was one woman in particular, I will never forget because she helped me the most. She was around my age and she put a spell on me to just…be better.
Honestly, I got super lucky with that encounter but I was also in my head saying “You need to start doing better.” I’ve been working and going back to school since. I was in a relationship shortly after that whole thing but…yeah.
Edit: not 20-22 years ago. I was 20-22 years old.
1. Get a job. Any job.
2. Get transportation. A lot of dealerships will work with no credit/bad credit. Not the best choice financially but you are at ground zero. As long as you have a place to stay, the next thing is a vehicle.
Honestly? I’m 37 and have never not been lazy. Now, I have been employed almost continuously since I entered the work force in 2003, but that’s only because I figure being homeless and hungry and lazy would be a bad combo. I have no idea where my complete lack of motivation to do anything comes from.
Realize that you’re a loser. And that your current habits put you in that position in the first place.
I am not lazy , but I am not inhuman.
Still plenty of time to change. You just need to do it or you’ll be a fucking bum loser by the time you’re 30.
Those two words are not interchangable. They can be, but they needn’t be.
When I got a job and moved out.
Still lazy, but I still do what needs to be done.
I survived my attempt. Doctor put me on lithium and jump started my brain. Now I do honest work I care about and spent the last several years unfucking my life.
I’m still lazy, I have a job so I can be extra lazy.
This sounds like depression. I suffered from it too about your age. I’d recommend talking to a therapist, it doesn’t work for everyone but it has the potential to be life changing
Maybe when you’re posting on Reddit about how much you hate the way you’re behaving