Do you enjoy it? Or feel emasculated? Considering the traditional norm of the man being the bread-winner, I imagine most guys settle in one of these camps. Me personally, I’d be fine with being with a woman who makes more than me but I’m curious about guys who are already living it.
Men whose female partners earn more money than you, how is it?
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Since you shitlords like to delete your posts, here’s an original copy of /u/lmaotbhidk’s post (if available):
Do you enjoy it? Or feel emasculated? Considering the traditional norm of the man being the bread-winner, I imagine most guys settle in one of these camps. Me personally, I’d be fine with being with a woman who makes more than me but I’m curious about guys who are already living it.
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Sounds like the dream
Not my experience unfortunately.
I’m not in the same situation though I’d definitely be uneasy with the idea on paper. The reason is the man woman dynamics in today’s age. However, with a smart, emotionally mature woman I wouldn’t be uneasy at all.
It’s great. She can take care of herself and I don’t have nearly as much stress as I had when I was the bread winner.
Pro: You are not a big financial target
Con: She’ll make like $2000 whole dollars more a year and claim that she’s the breadwinner.
Personally I don’t care even in the slightest. I mean if I lived in the 1970s of course I’d care. But in 2025 we’re all adults and sexism should not be a thing.
Edit : how would you feel if your woman opened doors for you and bought you things ? Emasculated also ?
SO is a doc and I’m just a project manager, she will make significantly more. She worked on it and deserves it. Don’t feel less at all, if anything I would be shouting it from the rooftop.
Depends if you value the ‘traditional’ ideal more than your relationship. Aren’t you in it to see both you and your partner realise your fullest potential?
It doesn’t matter either way
Honestly? Pretty fucking awesome.
My wife doesn’t buy me anything or treat me like a kept man. But the relaxation of having a partner that has the finances covered if needed, is sooooooooo calming.
Also being able to tell my bosses to eat a bag of dicks is great.
It’s never happened to me so I don’t know.
my wife makes more then me because i cant work more then 25 hours a week. Chronic headaches. And she makes more because she went into online marketing and i was dumb and went into cooking :’D so much work for so little money. now i work in a office
Well, we don’t use retarded terms like “partner”. I have a wife who makes 2-3x what I do.
Proud of her! She works hard and has earned it.
My wife used to earn more. When we first started dating it was a non issue, but when we moved in together it, I was very aware that I wasn’t pulling my weight. My wife never cared, but I couldn’t shake the feeling, so it spured me to get something better paying.
Once we got married, everything just merged into one pot. It doesn’t matter who earns more just what we have in total.
It’s awesome. My wife makes about twice as much as I do, I’m proud of her. I’m no slouch myself as far as what I earn and neither of us have ever ascribed to a belief that a man should earn more than his partner. That has never come up between us, I think we both are just grateful for our situation
I mean… We both live in the same house that has bills that need paid and food that needs to be purchased, so it doesn’t bother me at all. In fact I’m pretty damn proud of my wife for how hard she works for what she earns.
She still finds a way to spend my money.
I have an ex that made close to 30 grand more than me annually. It really didn’t have any effect on me, or our relationship. Both of us have our own homes, our own vehicles, and our own hobbies and interests that we both easily paid for. Both of us had no issues spoiling each other with vacations, gifts, etc.
I can’t speak for all men, but for me, as long as each of us can cover our own bills and lifestyle, really there is no issue.
While I’m slightly up now, for the first 10 years of my marriage my wife made more than me. There was even a couple years when I was driving a forklift and she was working at a software start up and she made 2X what I did.
Having another strong income gives us an additional level of financial security, and I like that my wife is smart, ambitious, and competitive.
She did for many years. It was perfectly fine. Neither of us are dicks about it.
Assuming both are paying appropriately on everything and or taking care of things fairly why would it matter. It’s a partnership with agreements on who does what to balance things.
My wife and I have swapped off over the years. We both make good money but does a little more. All of it goes into one pot. I never think about it.
Neither of us thinks one make more. We both put money into the same pot. It’s our money.
It sucks, she makes me watch while she bangs other dudes with good jobs
Don’t feel anything either way about it. She is a partner at a law firm, we both pay equal amounts for direct house stuff and keep finances separate otherwise. Garage stuff and tools aren’t split cost items, I just bug those things. It’s a pretty good deal for her but I’m not going to argue with a lawyer about it.
It’s fine with me. I don’t know how insecure you’d have to be to care.
She did when we got married. It’s just…how it was at the time, enjoyable or emasculating are both way too strong for something we only worried about during a couple budget conversations.
Pretty great. Not a significant difference in our earnings, tbh. She makes ~ 20% more than I do, but both of our incomes are high, so it just means that we can save a lot.
Her making what she does means that we can budget and live off just my salary, while putting her salary entirely into investments. The more she makes, the more we invest. It will probably allow us to retire by our early/mid 50s while travelling twice a year overseas. If either of us lost our job or were unable to work, we would still be fine and able to save on one of our incomes.
It’s great stability and helps reduce pressure.
My ex wife earned about 3x (per hour) as much as I did for the 10y ish we were together. I’ve since dated women who earned very little – my wife in my second marriage is a SAHP whose child support from her ex doesn’t cover what we spend on my stepson. I’ve also dated women who made more than I do but not as big a disparity.
For me it’s not emasculating at all. A lot like dating a tall woman as a 5’5″ guy – perfectly attractive, does present slight issues which are easily solved, but, I completely understand that it might be a problem for some women. If I’m given the chance though it’s NBD to me personally.
I know a couple like this. She makes about $130k/yr and he makes $70k. She belittles him constantly around us and once referred to his work as “his cute little job” behind his back to some of us other people in the friend group. He just proposed to her recently and I know it’s not going to end well. I’m sure there are other reasons than just his job but she clearly has no respect for him and the cute little job comment made it clear that’s at least a contributing factor.
Who cares as long as, happy husband happy life.
As long as there’s mutual respect, and no patronizing language or behavior, it should be beneficial for both partners that they’re both earning up to their potential.
It’s great! What could be wrong with it?
I mean this with all respect; I am not trying to be insulting in any way:
If you feel emasculated by it, you should examine your biases that have been drilled into you by our culture, your parents, your church or wherever. Your manhood is not tied to how much money you make, let alone making more than “your woman.”
Gen Z women are making more than Gen Z men, so I think this historical bias is going to start disappearing more rapidly than it already is.
It’s great
We both work in a system that pays out minimum wage.
Since I’ve moved and relocated to live with her, I’ve had to find a new job, and I’m currently on fewer hours than she works, so yeah she earns more than me, but it doesnt take anything away from the work we do.
I still think she deserves to be earning much much more though. Her employer relies on her for too much, and she puts in way too much compared to what her job title demands
I used to make good money, my wife made about 1/4 of what I made. Everything was fine. She switched jobs and got up to my rate. I got laid off and ultimately found a job in a different field making about half of my previous salary. This was 11 years ago, we had been married for about 10 years at that point. Both of our salaries have increased, I’m now making about 2/3rds of what she is.
She frequently makes comments about me wanting to be taken care of, and has said multiple times that she lost all respect for, and has been resentful of me ever since I took my low paying (now a 6 figure) job.
Our marriage has suffered. The reality is that I don’t care about fancy stuff. She has to have a big house and a big BMW. I could live in a shed on a nice piece of land and drive an old Toyota and be content. I don’t know what the future holds for us, but I suspect once the kids are gone, I’ll go my own way as well.
For some other background, I do all the housework, cleaning, cooking, laundry, ferrying the kids around 18 hours a day. She works long hours and comes home and complains that the dishwasher has clean dishes in it, or there are clothes in the washing machine. I also work 60 hours a week (which is less than she puts in). I’m also kind of resentful, but it has nothing to do with money.
So, this could happen regardless of who is making more, but changing it mid-marriage has not been awesome.
Problem I wish I had. I dated a girl in my 20s who was making like 3 times as much as me. I loved it because she always took me shopping.
I would genuinely be a house husband if we could afford it. I cook, I clean, I do repairs, home improvements, I’m way better at shopping and meal planning. A good team plays to their strengths and supports each other’s weaknesses. There is no way it would make me feel emasculated if we are succeeding together.
I am fine with it, though she has gradually become more entitled and occasionally brings it up to hurt me when we fight. Realistically, I spend faaaar below my means, and although she has superior income, I am basically subsidizing her lifestyle.
It’s great, we just ordered pizza.
I wish this could be case for me. Every relationship I’ve earned more and all of the financial burdens and expectations fell on me.
My wife had always made more than me. I was a mechanic until forced medical retirement. She is in management at a large company. It has never been an issue for us. Our finances have always been combined.
In a loving trusting relationship it shouldn’t matter who makes more.
35 yrs together. It was never an issue. She was a Ms. America state winner. So.. obviously she had a bit of a head start on things.. more so than me professionally.
Honestly, it has always gone in one pot together. I started making more than her about 10-15 yrs ago when she wanted to step back a bit. So probably she made more than me for half? our life together.
She is in finance, I’m in engineering. She has always handled the money and she has done an outstanding job of it. When we got married, we had nothing and $50,000 debt. Hell, our first furniture was a couch that was left out for the trash truck to pick up.
Yeah she made more than I did for a long time.. It never mattered to either of us. We were and are a team.
First time I’ve been in one at 42yo. Its taken some time to break habits. I earn a decent amount, she at least doubles that. I still try to pay for dates and all, told her pretty early its just how I am. She goes out of her way to pay, and do nice things for me. She will buy tickets to events that she wants to do and knows I’d be interested in, then she will invite me, amd when I say yes she says ok good I already have our tickets. I never really considered it, but it sure does feel nice and means a whole lot. That question of if I’m just a good time or she really likes me for me isn’t there. I know she likes me, and she wants to spend her time with me. Because she’s capable of just doing it by herself, or picking anyone else to go with her. It’s just always been in the back of my head with others, like would we be doing 90% of what were doing if it weren’t for my finances…
I made more money for the first 6 years of our marriage until she finished up school and became a CRNA. The biggest change is the constant influx of Amazon packages
My wife makes more than me. Not as much as she used to. At the beginning she tripled what I made. But, I worked for a school system and had all holidays and the summer off so we never needed daycare. I also got paid while off so that was nice.
I now work for a college and make about $30k less than her. We have also moved and she took a bit of a pay cut.
I’ve always joked about having a sugar momma. I do all of the cooking and food shopping.
Feels good man. I’m able to afford to work part time and not waste my life on the daily grind, since she doesn’t mind working full time herself.
Well my wife started out unemployment when I asked her to marry me.
For the first few years of our marriage she made less than me.
Eventually she made more than me eventually topping out +200k big money.
She is now laid off and a housewife who has dedicated herself to me and our kids.
We had a great relationship in the beginning, we had a great one when she made much more than me, we still have a great relationship now that I’m the sole income earner.
She was always a good wife regardless of the money. So ultimately it didn’t matter beyond make our lives easier and let us save more for retirement.
I earn more than my wife, but that is just because I ended up in IT. My wife definitely deserves to earn more based on the amount of effort, knowledge and pride she has in her work. I do my job, I like it but it is not something I’m passionate about and I’m happy to just cruise through it.
My wife has goals and motivation for her career and the skills to get there.
We’re still not too far off in our paychecks, but she deserves more and I’d be super proud if she surpass me due to her efforts
Not wife, but live together and have for like 3-4 years. Started out she made wayyy more than me, even when I worked OT. It was nice because she asked me to not work 6 days a week and didn’t mind, because we had more than enough money. She was laid off so then I was the sole earner, and still were just as happy, just a little more stressed. Been that way for awhile, but we have a car again so she’ll be looking for work, but we both agreed part-time to start. I want her to find a job she is appreciated at and valued, even if that means longer of not being employed.
I’m a stay at home dad. I get some weird behavior from both genders. It’s not easy or intuitive but I think I’m a good one. I enjoy it but it’s hard some days, just like being a stay at home mom.
It’s a non-issue. She made more when we were both working (inside sales vs teaching special ed) and when the cost of childcare exceeded my earning power, it was the clear and smart choice to make. I don’t feel emasculated because she makes more money, money has never been a big focus for me, so someone in the house should gaf about it. It’s not great either. It’s just how we get by the best.
My wife earns more than me and I believe she deserves to earn even more.
I pay for my things and she pays for hers.
To be honest, I don’t quite understand the idea of someone making you feel emasculated.
I’ve made more and less than her at different times. The way we look at it is it’s OUR money not mine and yours. So her success is mine and my success is hers, we are a team
I don’t even kind of care
I’ve never cared.
Every woman I date makes more money than me because I don’t work. My confidence doesn’t come from money so it has no effect on anything. I noticed that a lot of people’s confidence (mostly men) comes only from their jobs. So when they lose them their entire world collapses. I would hate to be in that situation.
I welcome it, if only because it typically corresponds with things I find attractive like ambition and being career-driven. The only time it’s ever been problematic is when they also want to be “traditional” in having the guy pay for everything, which made me feel more unvalued than it did emasculated.
Doesn’t bother me. We’re in it together, pay the mortgage together. It’s not a competition.
No problem for me we put in the most of our salarys in a main billings accaunt and we use the excess for family activities mostly. But for a brief time many years ago it was an issue. Because she was contributing more at home and brought home more cash. But this time were in a more equal relationship beside salarys. She earns a lot more than me and thats just good that she has a high salary.
My wife is in the medical field, and I am in manufacturing operations. The doc makes 3X the money I earn. We’re both military and hold loyalty and respect above all other values. No drama, just amazing sex and cooking, and travel. Stay interesting and stay dangerous. That is all 👊🏼
My ex made more money than me and she used to throw it my face when we fought, telling me what a loser I am. I never would have cared about it if she didn’t weaponize it