Men Who’ve Been Skinny, Fit, and Fat—How Was Your Sex Life at Each Stage?

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If you’ve gone from skinny to fit to fat (or any combo), how did each phase affect your sex life? Which version of yourself got the best results—physically and with women? What did the ladies say or notice? Curious what’s really worth aiming for.

Comments

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  2. UnkleJrue Avatar

    Way better when fit.

  3. MrBiggleswerth2 Avatar

    Way better when fit. Everything was better when fit.

  4. gamerdudeNYC Avatar

    When I was fat I looked pretty gross in the mirror, I used to think “well I definitely wouldn’t want to have sex with me”

  5. Nice-Neighborhood975 Avatar

    Yeah, my weight fluctuates by about 20 lbs throughout the year. When I’m skinnier, I can tell a huge difference in how hard I get and am able to last longer as well.

  6. dirgeofthedawn Avatar

    As much as it might suck to hear, the answer is obvious / self-explanatory.

  7. NastroAzzurro Avatar

    Fit: existent.
    Fat: non existent.

  8. spaceporter Avatar

    It’s hard to separate age from physical condition. I was big into powerlifting from my late teens to early 30s. It’s fun to be able to lift a woman and toss her around a bit. It’s also fun to have sex when you are 20 regardless.

    I’m now a long distance runner, so still fit but not jacked. It’s very different but enjoyable. It’s less acrobatic, but then I am in my 40s, too.

  9. Ahshitbackagain Avatar

    I was 280 and struggled with ED and stamina. Dropped 60 lbs and I’m back to fucking like I’m in college and waking up every day with morning wood.

    Also……. About 2 inches gained.

  10. jbchapp Avatar

    Skinny = nonexistent. Fit & fat… it’s been exactly the same. But I was married in both of those stages, so others’ mileage may vary.

  11. Qbit42 Avatar

    I’ve been all 3 over the last 10 years and never had sex once in that period. Just like you can’t outrun a bad diet you can’t outlift a boring personality.

  12. outofcontextsex Avatar

    Fit was better. After a series of accidents and other health issues I’m kind of just getting fit again and I have a long ways to go but the good news I can give you is things are already improving so you don’t need to hit your goal for things to be better in bed.

  13. Brett707 Avatar

    Well I was single when I was fit in the Army so I was getting a lot. I am older fatter and married. So I hardly ever get any.

  14. Consistent-Layer5724 Avatar

    The funny thing is, I would say that I’ve gotten the best results at skinny versus fit. Women definitely like me the most when I am just slimmed down, being muscled up doesn’t seem to add a lot. Granted I have pretty broad shoulders and a decent base build.

  15. Neither_Bluebird_645 Avatar

    Best results when fat for sure

  16. Exciting-Gap-1200 Avatar

    Your dick is bigger when you’re skinny. I went from 210 to 180 and found about an inch. I’m able to have sex 3-4 times a day and usually bust a nut 2 of them at 39 years old. My GF is going through early perimenopause and literally can’t get enough. I’m in the best shape of my life.

  17. Heart-Lights420 Avatar

    I don’t think it matters if is with women or with men. The answer still the same: Always better when fit.

  18. harlequin018 Avatar

    Working out large muscle groups releases testosterone. Being muscular and fit is, by far, the best shape to be in for benefits in the bedroom. Not even close.

  19. midwestrider Avatar

    In my adult life I’ve been 205 pounds and sedentary, and I’ve been 155 pounds and running multiple marathons per year.

    The change affected my my own self-perception and confidence. 

    I cannot discern any difference in how I was viewed by the opposite sex. None.

    Get fit for your self. 

  20. WordsLikeRoses Avatar

    Maybe a little different answer from what most people are saying:

    Probably the best sex I have ever had, in my memory, was what I was 50 lb overweight and struggling to run a mile. It’s important to note, though – The sex probably would have been better if I was physically fit, But you can have great sex while still on the journey getting where you want to go.

    I would argue my best, consistent sex was when I was mid-20s, conventionally attractive with no beer gut and defined lines. But I was also young and brash, convinced the only good sex was the kind that overwhelmed my partner with pleasure (I e. hard, long, intense). Now that I’m older, I tend to enjoy sex more than just want it and that comes after a lot of listening, both to your partners and to your own self.

  21. MaroonCanuck Avatar

    Been with the same women since 18 yrs old.

    Sex at a 18 yrs old- was new
    Sex at a fat 325lb – 30-35 yrs old was ok.

    • But I remember breathing heavy to walk up a flight of stairs and not being that hard.
    • while the wife would never say it I was that attractive to her
      Sex at a fit 225 lb – 51 yrs old is amazing
    • there is some recency bias tho
    • I’m way harder and can go way longer and recover faster for a second round
    • wife is always eager, and complimentary of my appearance which is a ego boost
    • was approved to join a sex club that has appearance / attractiveness standards. Another ego boost.

    Over fit is best.

  22. Sum-Duud Avatar

    self confidence and knowing what you’re doing are way more important than being fat or skinny. I was a fat kid to early teen, got very fit in high school when I wrestled and kept that into college, late 20s got married and over the next 16 years got fat again, divorced and got skinny. I don’t really feel like my performance was ever related to my weight, and while I only had 2 partners in my fat stages, there was plenty of instances to measure against.

    I had bad self confidence as a fat kid and well into college as a skinny guy. Learned what I was doing and stopped giving af about a lot and had more ‘success’ (both performance and attraction). Knocked a my gf up and eventually we got married. As a married fat guy, I had confidence; I never cheated but seemed to have appeal to plenty of ladies (coworkers, customers when I was bartending, even some random women approaching in social settings). When I got divorced I lost 70# but had no success over about 3 years; my self confidence was shot from the divorce. Once I started to get right with myself and confidence came back, things got better. New partner and got a little chubby again but best sex I’ve ever had

    tldr: it was fine at all stages – consistent performance-wise once I learned what to do. All stages also seemed to be related to self confidence in the initial find a partner stage of the sex life.

  23. Mindless-Judgment541 Avatar

    Cardio fitness makes the biggest difference imo. But that’s probably cause I’ve always had more strength than cardio.

    Cardio starts to improve really fast, even in a few weeks you’ll see a noticeable difference. I’d start with that.

  24. rococo78 Avatar

    I’ll offer one of the few counterpoints…

    When I was young and fit I was a needy desperate mess. I was good looking and got attention from women, but I would implode it almost instantly ever time. I worked out to impress women and got mad when they didn’t want to actually have sex with me.

    I gave up. Got older, fatter, balder, and developed a lot of bad habit. Luckily I caught myself and also started turning things around. I was in a much better place mentally, more even emotionally, and more willing to just be fun and interesting. This was ages ~35-45. I had the most women and best sex of my life.

    Now, had I been mentally better when I was younger, fitter, and hotter, I probably would have been cleaning up, but it didn’t really work that way.

    Anyways, take that all as you will.

  25. cam331 Avatar

    I’ve lost 65 pounds since the fall and sex with my wife of 13 years has never been better.

  26. alelp Avatar

    Decent when skinny, dead when fat, perfect when fit.

  27. Lanky_Structure415 Avatar

    Great. 6’ tall skinny (160lbs), fit (175lbs), fat (200lbs).
    I am now at 170lbs and feel great.

    Sex life has always been healthy at any weight. I think age has more impact on the libido. Used to have sex almost everyday and dwindled to 3-4x/week.

  28. Em-tech Avatar

    I’ve been through all and back again.

    • Fitness plays a big role in your ability to have the kind of sex that you see on TV. 

    • you can have great sex at different levels of ability/fitness depending on how down your partner is

  29. DadsDarkFantasies Avatar

    Fit: could go for hours, multiple orgasms, more confident so easier to take the lead.

    Fat: stamina catches up, way more sweat it’s annoying, still confident and not ashamed of myself, but can image this to be a problem, afterwards I enter a deep sleep 😂

    My fit is 86kg, fat 97kgs… So not a huge difference.

  30. jackrabbit323 Avatar

    235lbs going in the wrong direction in 2020: I was winded, self conscious, and uncomfortable. At 185lbs with long distance cycling cardio and regular weight training and core work, I am better than I was ever in my 20s. Erections are easy, and it gets bigger with belly weight loss.

  31. SnooMarzipans4304 Avatar

    I was suuuper skinny in my early 20s, then I became a gym rat from my mid 20s to early 30s and was a horn dog. Then from my early 30s to late 30s I stopped and put on some weight, sex life took a nose dive. I’ve been back in the gym for the past year and lost quite a bit of fat and gained a lot of muscle, I would say my sex life has picked up quite a bit but not like I was in my 20s but definitely better then 5 years ago.

  32. Kyrthis Avatar

    Fit was the best. Skinny was okay. Fat meant lesser erections, but they still showed up.

  33. UnpopularChopstick Avatar

    When I was skinny…
    I didn’t get sex.

    Now I’m fit and I do lol.

  34. an_edgy_lemon Avatar

    I was in a long term relationship when I lost 75 pounds. It didn’t change much. If anything, it strained things because my partner became insecure. She ended up cheating on me with a fat ugly guy. Maybe that was just her type?

    I didn’t really get more attention from women after getting in shape. I’m neither outgoing nor especially good looking, so it didn’t change much.

    I know other people who lost weight and got more attention. It definitely works for some people.

  35. Unlucky_Decision4138 Avatar

    My wife and I have been all 3 at various stages of the almost 20 years we’ve been together and we never stopped loving each other. Our sex life has always been good unless life got in the way, but when we were working out, we had more energy to do it and we’re more focused and intense

  36. floppydo Avatar

    In my experience, the woman I was with and the stage of the relationship we were at has by far the biggest effect. 

  37. Chungaroo22 Avatar

    In a committed relationship so can’t really say much on attracting ladies but I did previously put it off because the thought of all that movement made me feel tired and that’s no longer a problem, so.. there’s that.

    Also you just generally have people treating you more like a human being rather than a large gross goblin.

  38. PsychologicalLeg2416 Avatar

    Always better fit. Nothing like having your woman on the edge of an orgasm and gotta stop cuz cramps lol

  39. NomadLobo Avatar

    When i was morbid obese, my sex life was non-existent. When I lose 50 kg my sex life still does not exist, but i feel better

  40. RsonW Avatar

    Fit followed by fat, oddly enough.

  41. Humble_Diner32 Avatar

    I’m 48 now. And the fattest I’ve ever been thanks to a combination of factors. My sex life is non existent. I feel like crap so that probably projects outward. Throughout my 20s and 30s I maintained a great body-fat around 12%. My mid 30s-early 40s I was in even better shape with more muscle mass. Since 45 I’ve been struggling with 46 being a complete failure and downward spiral for my physical and mental health. That said, my sex life has been void for roughly 2 years. My sex drive is high but I do not attract women nor do I feel motivated to try anymore. I’m fat, medically overweight, and I can’t cut it down despite healthy eating and exercise. It seems that my age is the overlooked and undesired age group for men.

  42. cosmoboy Avatar

    Currently fat, preferred the other options.

  43. thefalseidol Avatar

    I had a bit of a bull market a few years ago, I looked shockingly similar to ed Sheeran at the peak of his fame, fat but close enough for girls to be into moon faced pale gingers haha. But that’s kinda run it’s course and I should probably get in shape now.

  44. No_Sign6616 Avatar

    Athletic. Great.

    40lbs lighter with illness on an SSRI. Non existent. Looked like a walking corpse.

    Coming off the SSRI and fit again. Spurts of hypersexuality. Fely worn out at times.

    Never been fat buy did have higher body fat percentage when I was following a powerlifting program and GOMAD diet. Cardio took a hit.

  45. BFord1021 Avatar

    Way better when I was fit.

  46. imkvn Avatar

    I went from skinny to fit to meathead looking to fit to skinny.

    Skinny just not as much strength and longevity.

    Fit is probably the best. Able to do different positions, not as tired.

    Meat head. My natural skinny is 165. At 200 was way too much for my frame. Always hot, hungry and not as flexible. Sex was great. Powerful pounding, lifting her into positions easier.

    Fit at 175-180 was the perfect compromise. Getting too big limits flexibility and positions.

  47. Samhain3965 Avatar

    I’ve always been a muscular guy. Sex life is always dramatically better when I’ve been leaner/cut than when I’ve been bulked. I think there’s a clear link between athleticism and performance

  48. Samhain3965 Avatar

    I’ve always been a muscular guy. Sex life is always dramatically better when I’ve been leaner/cut than when I’ve been bulked. I think there’s a clear link between athleticism and performance

  49. World_May_Wobble Avatar

    Been all three. No sex at any point. 🤷‍♂️

  50. ugh_screen_name Avatar

    Better when I’m working out consistently. Whether I have a bit of extra weight or not, when I’m exercising consistently my sex life is better.

  51. chirpchirp13 Avatar

    As others have said. Sex and everything else is better when fit.

  52. TheReaperSovereign Avatar

    Unpopular opinion: I’ve been 160lbs and 275lbs and everywhere in between and my sex life has always been steady (5-10 height )

    You’ll probably improve your chances being fit but the fittest guy I know is a tool and perpetually single and rarely gets laid. Abs arent a substitute for a personality.

  53. MrHardin86 Avatar

    never been skinny but I did drop from 230 lbs of fat and married to 180 lbs of lean muscle and divorced and damn was I able to last for hours when I was in my mid 30’s and finding people to play with was as easy as going to the beach.

    I haven’t had a dancing partner for 3 years now and I’ve gotten fat, lazy again but I’m working on my fitness.

  54. ComprehensiveBird317 Avatar

    Fat: none. Skinny: some, was nice, unfit partners tho. Fit: best ever, with fit women, it was awesome. Get fit while in your 20s, even if you loose it at some point, training it back will be way easier than getting fit from scratch in your 30s

  55. dudeimjames1234 Avatar

    Skinny was fine. Things worked.

    Fit was probably the best. Dick worked. Had stamina. Could do a lot of positions that required a degree of strength.

    Fat is good. Honestly fat is the best sex I’ve ever had. Not because I’m fat but because of who I’m having sex with these days.

  56. LLJKSiLk Avatar

    I’ve gone back and forth through my life. I’ve been as low as 150 (tons of sex) to as high as 250 (slightly less sex, and less enjoyable) to currently around 190 which I find is a good medium. I’m relatively muscular and in my 40s but can go 2-3 times a day. When I was at my heaviest I was lucky to be able to stay away after finishing once. Being fit definitely makes a difference in quality and quantity. When I was super skinny I got a lot of sex, but I wouldn’t say I performed as competently.

  57. SignoreBanana Avatar

    I went from overweight to really thin, to kind of overweight and now moving back into fit (but not skinny).

    In terms of being desired and having more choice of prospective partners, and in terms of libido and stamina, being thinner or more fit is definitely a major boon to your sex life.

  58. Whereishumhum- Avatar

    I last longer and am significantly more active when I’m fit.

  59. Gingertitian Avatar

    Sex life was best when I had an eating disorder. Gay culture is so toxic

  60. JustMummyDust Avatar

    Well, I’ve always been fat, sex has always been a struggle, and it’s just getting worse the older I get. So… maybe I should try getting skinny?

  61. Legitimate_Ad7089 Avatar

    Lifelong skinny guy here. There is a perception that we have big ole hog legs so I never go long without.

  62. Dlitosh Avatar

    Fit – great sex drive.

    Skinny – I am talking 9% body fat, for about 2 months for bodybuilding comp – very low libido and generally weren’t thinking about sex at all 😀

    Fat – sex drive was there but sex life was not 😀

  63. bigtone08 Avatar

    Fat = gotten with fat girls with long dry spells in between

    Fit = gotten with fit and thin girls with shorten dry spells, and options (which is key)

    It did take a couple years for the confidence of being fit to catch up with my body

  64. willhelpyounow Avatar

    Skinny was best stamina

  65. DramaticErraticism Avatar

    I remember always being surprised by how much fat I had vs how much I thought I had. Many thoughts in the mirror ‘I could lose about 5lbs’, when the reality is that I needed to lose about 30lb.

    If you can see the fat outside your body, there is a whole load of it hanging out inside your body, on your organs, everywhere.

    Over 50% of health problems in the US are related to being overweight. The growth in obesity directly correlates to skyrocketing health costs in the US. I don’t think people are generally aware of the enormous dangers that come along with being overweight while aging.

  66. OKcomputer1996 Avatar

    I think being too fit can also be a turnoff to women these days. And I don’t even mean super jacked and buff.

    Weirdly enough I did best with attracting women during my fat phase. I was 20-30 pounds overweight. Most women- including very attractive ones- are also a bit overweight and have body image issues so they can be insecure when dealing with a guy who is in excellent shape. I did okay during my fit phase but not as well for that reason. And I did pretty lousy during my skinny phase. Being scrawny is a definite turn off.

    In terms of sexual performance it is definitely directly related to my level of physical fitness. When I was a heavy smoker and chubby I could barely get it up in my late 30s. A decade later and I am firing all cylinders.

  67. sandbagger45 Avatar

    Better fit. I have been chunky, slim, fit and straight up fat. I didn’t have much sex when I was fat. Barely even got aroused. Women didn’t even bat an eye at me when I was like that.

    Looks matter. Woman randomly start conversations in public now that I’m fit, for example.

    Invest in your if you are reading this and under 30z

  68. RottenRobbie26 Avatar

    Fit all day long

  69. PapaWhiskey Avatar

    I went from 300 to 215 and lean. I used to have problems catching my breath. Now at 35 yrs old and in good shape I can still go twice a day easily. Also gained about an inch losing all the weight.

  70. Linvaderdespace Avatar

    Fit is only somewhat better to skinny, in that fitter women will be into you.

    being fat does hold you back both in terms what youre able to accomplish, and how you are able to accomplish it.

  71. Mr-Bry-Guy Avatar

    Uhm when I was smaller it was just easier to get with women. My drive and interest were always the same sometimes I wanted it a lot sometimes not as much. Never a consistent raging horndog but I love it. When I got bigger obviously there are less people interested in bigger guys but when I got it i performed I’d say the same maybe more interested? Just in the sense being a giver not so much expecting everything I wanted. Back on track to be small again. But again my interest is about the same. I haven’t had sex since January and I’ve lost over 60 pounds with plenty to go. I’ve learned from trusted opinions maybe I just grew up early and just didn’t want to slay everything that moved but I actually have things I need to be interested in. I don’t like randoms I don’t care for 1 night stands and I can’t really find attraction in people I can’t connect with on some level. I’ve tried and it’s just not my jam. So I’ll say with or without weight I’m pretty much the same type of dude in that aspect.

  72. Dio_Landa Avatar

    At the moment at my fittest is the best so far.

    More stamina and blood flow does wonders.

  73. sumane12 Avatar

    I’ve never been skinny, I’ve been fat and fit. Fit is better in every way.

  74. bbrewboy33 Avatar

    If I had to rank them from best to worst it would be this –

    1. Fit
    2. Fat
    3. Skinny

    Some may think skinny would be 2nd best but for me I was in a severe calorie deficit which impacted my energy levels and probably other things too, which really just caused me to lose interest or have no energy.

  75. Occhrome Avatar

    When fit women would ask me out. When fat women were indifferent.

  76. chefnee Avatar

    On my journey to get fit, sex was great! I had lots of energy. Now that I’m older and wiser the sex isn’t as often and my desire for it isn’t what it used to be. I should start getting fit again.

  77. RevanXca Avatar

    Tbh being fit helps, now I have a very poor balance of things and while it is still fun sometimes I’m not even rock solid anymore. Really want to turn things around for me, eat better, work better, think better. I miss being fit lol

  78. Markayzee Avatar

    The same for the most part. My body has never been an issue, which is pretty nice.

  79. DoctorHelios Avatar

    My sex life has been dead since the moment I met my ex-wife.

  80. melodyze Avatar

    People will say that women don’t want bodybuilders, and that’s true, most dont like unnaturally roided and shredded to the gills, just like how most men don’t like obviously unnatural surgeries, makeup, etc, on women. Unnatural appearance is uncanny and undesirable.

    But people take this point and use it to justify a physique way, way on the other side of the peak of desirability. Sure, women don’t like 6% bodyfat at 230 lbs. But that doesn’t imply that 20% bf or 130 lbs are equally desirable to 10% at 180.

    Our instincts are evolved for what was optimal in our evolutionary environment. The best hunter and warrior would be the best provider and protector, the most likely to get your kids to adulhood, all else equal. So what that looks like is what’s wired, on average, as the ideal physique.

    Thus, the peak of what women are most drawn to physically is still many years of hard, dedicated natural training. You will basically never get more fit than is attractive unless you are either taking drugs for it or a full time bodybuilder.

    There are, of course, other factors women want, so you can do fine without being in peak condition. But you will continuously do better as you approach peak natural condition.

    Like, Ronaldo is close to the peak. Maybe he’s a couple percent more lean than ideal, but basically there. If you poll women, that’s what’s going to be about the peak of avg preferences, and you can see the same ideal all of the way back to greek sculptures. You will never be more fit than Ronaldo, ever. It is not a thing to worry about.

    So just aim for being the best of what you can naturally be. The healthiest, strongest, most capable natural version of yourself is going to give you the best of everything across basically every dimension of life.

    >”No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a disgrace to grow old through sheer carelessness before seeing what manner of man you may become by developing your bodily strength and beauty to their highest limit.”

    -Socrates

    As far as what they notice, it’s a full picture thing where they will notice something is off if you aren’t balanced. So just work out your whole body, like you would to be a functional athlete.

    They will notice good biceps, wide shoulders relative to a narrower waist, or a strong back. But even if they won’t be able to explain it, if your rhomboids are undeveloped they will notice something is weird about your back (bad neutral posture in that case). And similarly, biceps without triceps look weird and more than half of what they will describe as good biceps is tricep thickness. So keep it simple, just cover your whole body evenly and don’t think about single things in isolation.

  81. NorthEazy1 Avatar

    No difference. Probably got more action when I was fat. Women have low self esteem and probably thought they couldn’t do any better. I think being moderately good looking is the worst of both worlds. Fat guys get women with low self esteem. And super attractive men get women who shoot their shot. It’s that middle that suffers.

  82. Jswazy Avatar

    Skinny and fit, sex basically whenever I want. Fat, if somebody told me that they would kill me if I did not have sex this week I might die. Women have always liked me, and they seem to like me even more so now I’m fat, just not in that way. All other things basically the same I didn’t lose any confidence or anything by being fat. 

  83. Spicy_Tomatillo Avatar

    Everything was the same until my wife’s hormones had something to say about it. It’s the Gobi desert now. FML

  84. AmbivalentheAmbivert Avatar

    Your penis is larger when you are skinny.

    For me a little muffin while trained, built, is the sweet spot between endurance and penis size (95KG). When i was super skinny (86kg) I found it harder to connect with people. When i was fat 126kg i felt fine enough, but everyone seemed to think the needed to comment on my weight and frankly it was hard to do a lot of things.

  85. Nondescript_585_Guy Avatar

    Fat – nonexistent.

    Skinny – nonexistent.

    Fit – still working on that I guess, but not expecting huge changes.

  86. adelie42 Avatar

    I got to say that with being “fit,” the “pretty privilege” was intense. Strangers going out of their way to be exceptionally nice was flattering but also super weird at times.

  87. Rollec Avatar

    Life is better when you are fit.

  88. JPKlaus Avatar

    Lost 55lbs just more fun and quality went up. I’m also less disgusted watching it back

  89. bi_polar2bear Avatar

    Non-existent, most times, I wasn’t dating or married. Even when I was competing in triathlons and in great shape, I was either non observant to flirting, or it didn’t happen. Being skinny and being Buddha shapped is a no-brainer for why.

    Charisma plays a big part in being able to attract someone. I’ve known guys who pulled and weren’t 6′, attractive, rich, or in shape. Confidence only gets you so far. Being in shape gets you an easy introduction, but a personality is far more important.

    At my age, I could care less about having a sex life, which is nice, because I don’t have to date or put up with the games.

  90. No_Volume_1476 Avatar

    I have a big frame, so I was 250 and fit (benching 350). I could get girls if I put the work in. My options were decent and I was a beast in the sac.

    I gained some weight over the years, so I was 300 and fat. Very limited options. No one took me seriously at all. Couldn’t move the way I used to and my libido dropped significantly.

    Eventually, I got really tired of being fat and I went on an extremely strict diet for a solid year, so I was 200 and skinny. I honestly felt like I could have any woman I wanted. It was during this period that I dated the hottest women I’ve ever had. I wasn’t nearly as strong as I once was (nothing but skin and bones), but I had stamina. I started really turning heads for the first time and getting a lot more respect from people in general at this weight.

  91. Darmok-And-Jihad Avatar

    I’m a bit overweight now and my sex life is non-existent.

    To be fair though, when I was very active working a bush job my sex life was also non-existent lol

  92. icelink4884 Avatar

    So I was certainly a good amount over weight I was at 5 9′ and almost 200lbs. I thought my lack of libido and stamina and everything else were just part of me getting older. When having sex it was more of a I physically couldn’t keep going as opposed to not being able to “Last,” I dropped 30 lbs and feel so much better. I’m not not doing no karma sutra shit as I’ve never been that flexible, but both from a strength and being able to hold a girl in a specific position to not getting winded is a 100% turn around.

    It’s not just my sex life though. I used to think people were being facetious when they talked about how many health problems would go away by just being in better shape now I’m 36 and feel exponentially better than I did at 32 and 33. I had acid reflex and was popping tums like candy, I had immense hip and lower back pain (Which also really made sex difficulty) all of that went away.

  93. sixarmedspidey Avatar

    Improved since being more fit due to more stamina!

  94. UserID_ Avatar

    Well, when I was thinner I had much more attention. And the sex was easier. Being overweight really affects the positions you could do it in. Kiss spoon fucking good bye, unless you got a giant schlong that easily reaches being your stomach.

  95. gibsonstudioguitar Avatar

    Every time Ive lost weight, women notice me more.. I’ve always been able to get plenty of women, but I think I get prettier ones when I’m thinner.

  96. Magnetheadx Avatar

    Everything was better when I have been fit. Health, mindset, sexlife. It’s easy to get sedentary and start to feel less energetic, then get into a rut and gain weight, or get into bad habits. But knowing you can get back out of them into a better spot is helpful.

    Just have to do the work, even if it’s a little bit at a time and building up.

    I am just going by my personal experience though. Might not be like that for everyone

  97. AssholeWHeartOfGold Avatar

    Good sex life at all three. I got the most action when fat. Can’t explain it, but that’s the truth. Girls were equally hot at all three points, there is an argument that I got the hottest girls while fat.

  98. Rough-Structure3774 Avatar

    Well you need to be kinda fit to perform, as you also carry your own weight. However, best results often came from sleeping well, get under the sheets often and have a full tummy. Too skinny also have adverse effect. Some youtube vids I’ve watched say when your body fat goes lower than 15% you tend to lose interest in the action, among other related problems.

  99. Dipstickpattywack Avatar

    I am 6’3 and through my life at this height I have weighed 175, 185, 195, 205, and now currently 215. At 175 my dick comes close to 9 inches and at 215 it’s a little over 7.5. I guess my pubic symphysis gets a lot more puffy with the extra 40 lbs.

    The only problem is at 175 I look too skinny. 215 looks fine on me but I get tired pretty easily in bed and my belly sticks out further than my chest, I am going to get back down to 190, it just takes more effort now that I’m nearly 40 and my metabolism isn’t what it used to be.

  100. Odd_Welcome7940 Avatar

    To be honest, my sex life has been ten times better while out of shape. I know I am probably the exception here but my reasons are more based on fixing marriage things and things with my wife. I 100% admit that now that things are more or less fixed, I would love to get back in better shape again and enjoy the improvements that could have as well.

  101. WarAmongTheStars Avatar

    > If you’ve gone from skinny to fit to fat (or any combo), how did each phase affect your sex life? Which version of yourself got the best results—physically and with women? What did the ladies say or notice?

    I’ve been between the skinny (18 and working on my feet 8 hours a day, 24.4 BMI) to dad bod fat (32 BMI, white collar job and medication that makes it hard to lose weight so I’ve had to take Ozempic to counteract it given 1 hour of exercise daily-ish was not causing weight loss) for my height.

    Its really just been what type of women were interested (more athletic ones were more interested in a similar physique and heavier women are more interested in dad bods) in my experience.

    That said, I do know men with 40+ BMI that I’ve been friends with (I’m a gamer/computer nerd, so plenty of these types end up in my social circle) struggle with dating, but I also know women who dated a man 300 lbs because he felt like a weighted blanket during snuggle times. So this is more of “60% of women” rather than “all women”.

    As long as you have a healthy sex drive, date similar body types, and don’t come across as undesirable through words/actions (i.e. pickup artist stuff, treating women like sex objects, being an asshole) I generally find someone for a LTR within 6 months of being single and I’ve been through 4 LTRs at this point so maybe I’m just gambling on women with the wrong personality for me so YMMV on the actual effectiveness of a relationship lasting more than 2-5 years.

  102. CrunchyRubberChips Avatar

    I never had issues meeting women when I was heavier but the sex wasn’t as good. My brain wanted to do lots of things I physically couldn’t and that gets disappointing. That and tying my shoes were some of the bigger inconveniences that got me to lose the weight.

  103. Flusterered Avatar

    Being (relatively) physically strong and beats any of those three(?) outward presentations of yourself. You can be any of those shapes and still feel empowered, confident and capable when you can lift any heavy things you come across, cold drop in to a full squat to touch grass and can run to the train station without making horse noises for the next hour.

    I’m not sure how useful the direct answers will be since there are so many individual other factors; career, time in your life, external conditions like covid, and whether you’ve been any of the other two presentations previously.

    However, I wouldn’t change having been all three at various points and having and settled very comfortably with a mix of strong, fit and fat, that seems to suit me well.

    In my experience, having the confidence and knowledge to train effectively if you want to or need to, and to maintain a sensible level of health are invaluable. With that, you can always change things without a lot of handwringing and nonsense if you don’t like where you are.

  104. Helo227 Avatar

    Non-existent at every stage. If you’re overweight your weight is the excuse they give you. If you’re skinny then it’s your face, or some other feature they tell you is the problem. When you’re fit no one approaches you or responds when you approach them. (I’m gay, so my experience may differ)

  105. a_sword_and_an_oath Avatar

    Skinny to fit to fat here.
    Sex drive was roughly the same throughout.

    But I find that I’m older and been with my Mrs for 18 years which has the biggest effect on sex life.
    Plus my adhd.

    I don’t really have the energy to perform that I used to. My adhd drives my need for new and varied, so the same old doesn’t float my boat really.

  106. LegallyRegarded Avatar

    ive been brick shit house, fat and average. Did best at average(skinny for me). the bros really liked me at huge fuckin guy, so not much play there(im straight) no one likes the fat. Average confident and funny is so easy and so much more fun. being a giant muscular dude is scary i assume for most ladies.

  107. Immediate_Detail_709 Avatar

    I felt better at my fittest. My wife didn’t care. She’s been with me fat and fit (I’ve never been skinny)!

    Think of the reverse. Personally, I’ve never thought her more beautiful than when she was carrying our babies. But I’ve seen her skinny, fit, and not at all skinny. There’s never been a moment when I didn’t think she was HOT!

  108. category6e Avatar

    I had always been fit until I got into a 5 year relationship. Lost the muscle and gained pounds. Lazily tried to keep it up to no avail. Got play consistently due to my looks. It’s all superficial. Got fat and barely got anything (220lbs) lost 40 pounds and became skinny due to poor mental health and life situations. Got some but not as much as I do now after lifting and being extremely active again for two years. I’ve been with the most attractive women I’ve ever been with now.

  109. ind3pend0nt Avatar

    I was never skinny but have been both fat and now fit. Fit is better. Fat was not fun, even if I thought it was.

  110. International-Map784 Avatar

    I’ve been fit and am currently fat. It’s much better when fit. TBH I don’t really want it currently because I have much less confidence and I’m sure being fat causes testosterone and libido to drop off.

  111. Biohacker27 Avatar

    Not good when I was fat. Now that I lost weight I got my libido back and honestly stronger than ever!

  112. kal-lifter Avatar

    Skinny- It was fine but didn’t happen too often.

    Fit – Definitely the best. Got a lot of attention, able to move around and maneuver and have lots of stamina. Also the self confidence helps a lot.

    Fat- Still an enjoyable experience but happens a lot less frequently. It’s more of a tiring experience and a lot of positions aren’t feasible either due to flexibility or unfortunately having a lot less “length” to work with.

  113. sexruinedeverything Avatar

    Average build to a belly that folds over the belt. Yah that stamina is still there, but that ability to attract tho 🚮🗑️.

  114. _Aerophis_ Avatar

    As others have said, everything in life, including sex, was so much better when I was fit. Other than maybe being sore from long or hard workouts. Even that soreness kinda felt good though. You earn it!

  115. Snoo-20788 Avatar

    Not so much my sex life but rather how women look at me.

    On a few occasions, I had big fluctuations of weight.

    When I went from 180lbs to 165lbs (I am 5’7″). Very little difference Then, from 165 to 155 I start feeling an impact every 2lbs.

    At 165 I stopped being invisible to women.
    Then, started getting glances from women
    Then, from younger women
    And then at 155, from younger women walking with their bf

    People say it could be confidence that made me more attractive, but I do feel I look way hotter when I am not overweight.

  116. Peschkowskaja Avatar

    Best sexlife was at my swimming time (3x per week, 2-3km each), absolute awesome, stamina and errection for days.

    Beeing fat sucked (not in a good was, couldnt do shit)

    Powerlifting time (training and body composition, imagine build, but kinda fat) was a mixed bag, with short and hard trainings it rocked (not so much as during swimming, but nontheless), with a 3098423 sets plan Im just too exhausted all the time to even think about sex 😀

    Best results with ladies? Mix of skinny stamina dude and some lifting

  117. TheCoverSnob Avatar

    Skinny: Okay
    Fit: absolutely amazing
    Fat: horrible

  118. sdrn530 Avatar

    Definitely when I was fit, and more so in a healthier environment.

  119. Idrinkbeereverywhere Avatar

    Nothin’. None of that fixes height issues.

  120. ConnectionSorry5111 Avatar

    I was 350lbs and am now currently 200lbs. Changed my whole lifestyle from takeout and fast food to clean eating and hitting the gym. Libido went through the roof, stamina is through the roof and I gained almost 3 inches in the length of my penis. I pity my wife sometimes, we are more sexually active now then when we were teenagers lol.

  121. Mikewithnoname Avatar

    Life was so fun the three months I was conventionally attractive. I think about it every single day.

  122. js3243 Avatar

    I might be in the minority, but the pussy train pulled in front of the house more often when I was chubby than when I was skinny. Never figured it out.