I 20F have been in a relationship with 26M for 6 months. I’ve motivated him to treat his mental health by starting therapy and journaling. This was just last month. He even asked that I come in towards the end of sessions. He is so kind, but always blames himself. While he’s been getting help, I haven’t been treating my depression. I had a mental breakdown a couple days ago due to a new medication and family death. It was bad. I left his family and friends party early. He was empathetic, but his friends insisted he not go to help my crisis as it got worse and worse. I did not want to involve him. Not to my knowledge he was having a mental episode aswell due to my crisis. His mum and friends have told me never to contact him again. He told me he’d come back home that night. He hadn’t. He’s disappeared from his friends, mum, and I. I have all of his stuff, aside from the guns he took.
I didn’t feel a need to get treatment, but now I’m seeing the repressions of my depression. I’m going to call a welfare check tomorrow, and get evaluated by a mental health doctor in a few days. I called an old therapist to see if I can scedule.
We both struggle with mental health. I did start seeing a Pschiatrist this last month, but I wasn’t aware of the extent of help I needed until it hit me in the face.
This guy is the sweetest person that’s so cruel to himself. Before his friends insisted told me never to talk to him again, he said last he saw he screamed in his truck, and went away. That’s the last he was heard from. Wich was the night before last. We don’t know where he is. I love this person so much. He deserves the world and I should’ve gotten help sooner to better for him. I’m going to go to his workplace Monday to see if he’s okay. He hasn’t expressed having suicidal ideation in years but I’m worried sick. I just want to hug him. I know his friends hate me right now, but they don’t help with his anxiety or issues. Neither does his mum. They all love him but don’t give him empathy and kindness. They don’t understand mental health. I finally got him sober. I know I’ve harmed him but I’ve helped him to… Wich was my excuse for not getting better aswell. For not seeing the harm.
Honestly, what do you think I can do? I’m scheduling appointments to get treatment including an Outpatient Hospitalization program. I should’ve done that to be better for him long ago. He left his journal, so I’ve been writing compliments and positive affirmations. No one can get ahold of him yet, but I’ve left him voicemails of how much he’s loved. I know he needs space, but how can I mend the damage I’ve caused? I thought I would do anything for him before, but that wasn’t true until now. I need to keep this beautiful person in my life. He’d messaged my mum to ask if I was okay a few times since. What should I do? What should I say? He works for my grandparents, so I will check on him Monday. I want to continue being with him, but I primarily want what’s best for him.
Could we could maintain a relationship if we both have strong mental health issues? If both of us were perusing treatment? I know his friends and mum wouldn’t give him the support to stay sober and keep perusing treatment. I’m worried if he’ll go back to the depressed state he was when I met him.
Td;lr my boyfriend and I are both mentally ill. He’s been seeking treatment, but I’m now realizing that I need treatment to. Can I continue this relationship after all I subjected him to?