Mentally checking out, too soon? Or should I cut my losses.

            I (25M) and my wife (25F) have been married for a little over two years. We have two dogs, one was hers before we met and one we got together and we rent a fairly nice place. We got married very quickly, I am in the military and she was studying in the states abroad, so when we met and she decided she was not going to continue with college, we got married very quickly (5 months), but out of good faith. We’ve had our usual ups and downs as a new couple but there have been some things leading up recently that has my mind wandering. The main issue I believe, opposites attract but we might just be too opposite.
            Recently we went on vacation to Puerto Rico, came back and that same day I underwent ligament reconstruction on my right ankle, my mother came out to help, thankfully she did because the next day my wife was in the hospital getting her appendix removed. My wife and I are opposites, she likes to do things all the time, super social, likes to party, be the center of attention etc. Very extroverted. I am opposite in almost every way, I’m a big dude, I like going to the gym and playing video games with my best friend who lives across the country. All in all 2 days after she got back from the hospital I was spending time with her on the couch where she was recovering almost all day, the next day, I played video games, for pretty much the whole day besides the night time when we watched a movie. This infuriated her beyond belief, but she wont let me know, she’ll just harbor the resentment and act moody towards me but tell me everything’s fine, then when I finally get it out of her she states that I should’ve picked up on it and that I should’ve been more self aware and my lack of self awareness of how much I was gaming is concerning, mind you, this was one day… She waits till shes super upset to tell me all of this, basically lets me dig my own grave and wont say anything, I feel like she builds a case against me. I was not unaware of this though, we both just had surgery, I didn’t want to sit on the couch all day again, I went into my office which is right next to the living room with the door open and played games with my buddy most of the day, at night we watched a movie together. I would constantly come out to check on her and make sure she didn’t need anything. Mind you I just had surgery too. Essentially that’s the jist of it.
            I don’t want to make my wife seem like some horrible partner, she’s kind, takes care of the house and our dogs, cooks, goes grocery shopping etc. She only works 2 days a week on the weekend at a bar, and before that didn’t work at all. She’s very sweet, but can also be the meanest person I’ve ever met. Whenever we get into these arguments about things like this, she always reminds me that she is going to divorce me if I don’t change, tell me theres other men out there who will give her the attention she feels shes deserving of, I might not be right for her, she hates that I play video games and that overall shes had to lower her expectations to be with me. Also tells me things I’ve never heard before, like how she wants someone glued at the hip and all about her, when I’ve NEVER given her that vibe. I’ve always been more independent. Her expectations of how she should be treated essentially. So she says all these things every-time we argue about it, and I don’t. I’ll go into further detail about our relationship or you can just respond to what I’ve said before.

I’ll try to make this as condensed as possible and mind you, this is my point of view. In January of this year, I went to do some training for 2 months away from home for the military. I come back. It was hard training. When I get back, my wife starts complaining about not meeting her expectations about certain things, 1st week it’s one thing, and if I just fixed this one thing she would be so happy and everything would be fine… welp next week it’s a new thing, then the next week another. Then finally she decided it’s actually all boiled down to me playing video games too much. This had me so confused, we got into a huge fight, I was tired of the inconsistency, she was tired of whatever new thing she had decided I was doing wrong. She leaves for a few days, I go to see her, she explains her feelings, then proceeds to tell me this new set of rules for me playing videos games. I can’t play for a month, after that, 1 hour a day on the weekday lol. I agree, under the condition we go see a counselor. Knowing the counselor will understand that she is creating a parent-child relationship by doing this. We go to counseling, he agrees with me. We move forward, counselor is all about balance, we both like him, things seem to be fine.

Now mind you, we’ve had a rocky relationship, lots of big fights, problems with alcohol on her end, which was an entire ordeal that lasted months which landed her in AA. I only say this because she constantly compares that situation to me playing video games. Says things like “you didn’t like how much I drank and told me if I didn’t fix it you would leave me and I’m telling you the same about video games”. Yet her drinking brought ACTUAL negative consequences such as becoming physical and verbally abusive. She’s got it under control for the most part now.

So now we’re back to square one. We both have surgery, she gets mad I played video games all day one day, when we both just had surgery, and I genuinely don’t want to sit on the couch all day. I tried to be nice but I had to bluntly tell her when she’s in pain she is not pleasant to be around. Shes snappy, I told her that.

I’m really at the point now, that every-time we have these difficult conversations, she says things she can’t take back like I stated above. And I knew this would happen, where she says it so much that it eventually gets to me, puts me in a position where no longer care as much.
Almost like mentally checking out. I’m tired of being with someone who I don’t know is even going to stick around. I think she takes things so fucking personal. Thinks I don’t like her or want to be around her. Me not wanting to sit on the couch all day means I don’t want to be around her because she’s on the couch. In reality I just don’t want to mindlessly scroll through my phone and watch movies all day on the couch when I have a better outlet.

Now let me have some emotional maturity. She may truly believe I’m choosing something over her. I feel she takes it too personally. It’s not that deep to me. I enjoy video games. I have since I was young, since I met her, nothings changed. I’m getting my degree in software engineering, my life revolves around computers and nerd shit. This is NOTHING new. She has known this from the start. However objectively speaking, I feel we may just be too opposite, I feel we’ve both given up pieces of ourself to be together and neither of us are willing to give up more.

I’m not sure where to go from here. She’s a sweetheart and I do love her. But I feel like I walk on eggshells around her. Like what am I going to do next to make her threaten divorce. I work so much, except now because I’m on medical leave. But normally work a lot, I go to the gym and hangout with my wife and play video games. My wife tells me how low maintenance I am and I know I am. But I still feel like I’m walking on eggshells, and I feel myself slipping, knowing I’m slowly mentally checking out, feeling like I just can never truly make her happy, she tells me she’s not happy. I think she’s unappreciative sometimes and she’s had a lot handed to her in life and I’m starting to question where we align morally even.

Emotions change just as seasons do. Should I continue to seek happiness with this woman? Or cut my losses while I’m still young and move forward with life. We have little to no assets together. So it wouldn’t be a hard divorce. I feel like I’ve tried my hardest and never made her feel like I’d leave her. Yet she constantly complains I don’t make her happy and lets me know that there’s other men out there, I may not bee her match and that she’s lowering her expectations of how she should be treated being with me. We’ve been to therapy already, my family is supportive and hers, but I’m starting to get so tired of this. I feel she has no hobbies, and the hobbies she does say she has aren’t consistent. Like if I woke up one day and told her I’d be gone all day she sometimes wouldn’t know what to do.

TL;DR Wife hates that I play video games. Been playing since I was 8, since we met. Wants someone glued at the hip, that’s not me. I’m independent. Takes it all too personally. I just enjoy video games.