I (25F) Recently met this guy who was in town for work (29M) and we hit it off.
Because of a previous time I found out a man I was talking to was married, I repeatedly asked this man, let’s call him Sam, if he was FOR SURE single almost to a point where it scared him off (wish it would’ve) he assured me he was.
The first time it happened I never told the guy’s wife because it never got intimate. I found out he was married before anything got too serious. Told him the truth would come out eventually and blocked.
Sam was a very obvious flirt. We spent a lot of time together in the month he was here. I even met some of his coworkers he was here with, which just made me feel more secure about the fact that he was “single” because … who does that if they’re in a relationship?
Don’t get me wrong, looking back it was an insane amount of love bombing in a short month lol so something never sat right with me about it all
To make a long story short, we had an intimate month and then he left. He would still reach out from time to time. The more he’d tell me about what he was up to it just sounded like he was totally married or something. It’s been a few weeks since we’ve last talked and I just found out today he is in a committed relationship (not sure if married). No kids.
I’ve been cheated on and I’ve been the other woman. If I were her I’d want to know but …
Do I tell her? I feel awful.
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Tell her.
Two questions I’d consider before deciding to tell someone in these circumstances:
am I risking my own safety to do this? If he places the blame on you for blowing up his life, might he do something to hurt you? If someone had my nude pics or had given weird vibes, I would probably keep quiet in case they wanted revenge
how will you feel if she doesn’t believe you/forgives him? If you’ll feel like you did your duty that’s fine. If you’re hoping to see consequences for him just be aware they might not come.
If he works out of town a lot, he is doing this a lot. She needs to know.
Your gut was screaming at you all the time, but you ignored it. Cheaters are usually good liars as well. Set that woman free.