Hi everyone. I’ve been making posts about my feelings a lot lately. I’ve gotten good support from the community and the common denominator is get more social, get out there, therapy, less family time, etc. Just overall trying to be out of my head.
Today I met up with this friend- I’ll call her Annie. Her and I went to school together and fell out of touch after high school. Sometime after lockdown we became friends again and hung out a lot. As women just entering their 20s, we went through the end of college together and she entered the workforce while I went to grad school. I’ve not been good at making friends lately and I’ve been really in my head/ I just lost touch. I won’t go more into that because I’d write a novel.
For a while things were fine but she is closer with her coworkers, and sometimes makes weird comments to me. A year ago we’d meet up some Fridays and get drinks or something. We both would dress up and even take some pictures- just after a long week. Well this year we hardly meet and when we do it’s like last minute plans or when someone cancels on her. Sometimes I tell her my idea and she’ll do it with others instead or for ex: she said I can come w her to get our nails done before she goes out with a coworker. After I mention wanting to go to a nail salon, or hair salon, etc. She will plan with them and dress up. They take pictures and post on her story or her insta.
With me it’s like an afterthought. Today I dressed up and put makeup on, she said we should get drinks. Well we go.. she doesn’t get a drink which is fine. But she was in sweat pants (again fine it’s what Annie said that bothered me) she said: we’re both putting no effort in, huh?
She then made a comment how she can’t wait for tomorrow and next week because she has plans with her coworkers and then she talked about how she has no new friends and needs to make some.. if I know how to, to tell her. It made me feel more alone. Maybe this is silly.. but how do I make friends or keep friends interested in being around me? What am I doing wrong
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Sometimes you can do your best and still not be someone’s friend type. It’s still possible for you to be interesting to someone else. Try people with your same career goal or join hobby groups or better yet volunteering (lots of really friendly people there). She shouldn’t be treating you like you’re invisible just because she isn’t interested. Just like how someone can be just alright but not your type in dating the same goes for friends it can take you some time before you meet those who are interested in you
Can you share an example of a conversation you had with her so we can see where the chemistry problem could be? I know it’s prying, but being socially isolated for long can possibly make your conversations rather dry and tough to contribute with a reply to