I have a super common first name that has both a super common spelling, and a less common spelling (e.g., Rebecca/Rebekah) and I go by a nickname that I think makes it clear I use the more popular spelling (e.g., Becca not Bekah). I still use my full first name on formal things, like my work website, LinkedIn, my wedding invitations, kids’ birth announcements etc. It’s very easy to figure out. Or, idk, text your son?? We have full contact with them and see them at holidays, family events, etc. so it’s not like we are estranged. But no, she texted me that she’s working on a family photo album and wants to confirm the spelling of my first name. I’m actually pretty impressed that she’s gone this long without knowing it and admits that??
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She knows your name and how to spell it.
She’s testing you. Probing for weakness. Seeing if she can get away with “little” insults before graduating to bigger ones
She’s screwing with you. She knows how to spell it
As someone whose name is oft-misspelled or mispronounced, I’m pretty sensitive about this because I think it shows the slimmest modicum of respect to someone to at least get their name right. That said, if she always calls you ‘Becca’ she may just not have the skills to think about checking your linkedin or website, and figures the most direct route is through you. Sometimes nicknames don’t match the spelling of the full name, like how Duchess Catherine uses Kate with a K. Not knowing your MIL or your history, I’m inclined to say that this is less nefarious and more… well, just a little dumb, I guess. I think I’d just be glad she bothered at all to get your name right for her project!
It took some members of my husband’s 20 years to spell my name correctly, and we’re all close. One in particular will get it right for a few years and then revert back to the misspelling. I’m also 100% sure that my father in law and his wife don’t know my parents first or last names 🙄
My MIL has yet to bother to learn how to say my name correctly and on their most recent visit she said she didn’t know how old I was. We’ve only been married for 3 years and it bothers me so asking that after 15 years is CRAZY
How are you in her phone contacts without a first name double checked with the wedding invitation? If not by asking while you were getting engaged? Even if I had memory troubles, I would use that as a cue.
She wants you to know she doesn’t care enough about you to know how to spell your name. But she wants the plausible deniability of being able to say that she wanted to get it right because she cares so much.
She’s just trying to get under your skin for some petty satisfaction on her part. I have no idea how people find poking others fulfilling.
My MIL got my birthday wrong for around 20 years. Not sure what made the lightbulb finally turn on but boy, took her long enough. However, I don’t think she’ll ever learn that I kept my maiden name after marriage (and that it was her son’s idea in the first place, ha!)…
Just give her the side eye and walk away when she says something stupid like that….i Do with mine,
My in laws misspell my name in the Facebook family group chat. I left it.
I would act overly nice and spell it very clearly and sloooowwwlly to her…. 🥰
My mil can’t spell my last name correctly lmao which of course is the same as hers unfortunately! It has been for almost a quarter of a century. We’ve been nc for close to 7 years or so, but she still sends me crap in the mail and has or entire marriage. She’ll send stuff in my maiden name at times which is also hilarious because my maiden name is also in my married name just my dumb luck. So think my maiden name was smith and my husbands last name is Mcsmitherton lol and she’d address or write things to me as Mrs smyth or smoyth etc. I’d just roll my eyes. I’m sure it was done purely out of spite as if I care. When my kids friends would or still do try to call me Mrs Mcsmitherton I’m like please just call me Amy or Mrs Amy lol or Mikey’s mom because that’s my mil and I’d rather be called hey you than that. Fwiw all names used here are so fake, the rest is real though. She’s a real winner winner.