Last post: https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/s/U2FaRpoenL
So, first off, I just want to go on record that over the years DH has grown a shiny shiny spine. But, he did apologize for his slip up this time. These last few months have been eye opening, I’ve been finding out that the relationship between DH and his parents has hit a major decline. FIL and MIL have been criticizing him about everything he’s done and doing, trying to find negative in everything he says to them, and talking about me. MIL and FIL have said that he’s changed and that years ago he wouldn’t turn his back on family and that he should really think about how why he’s acting like this. His dad has said he thinks that “someone” is controlling him and not letting him use the phone 🙄…. His mom has asked if he was doing drugs 🤣🤣. So DH has been on vvvlc with them for the last 2 years and I didn’t know because I told him that I didn’t want to know about his parents unless it was a life or death situation. Honestly, I didn’t care so much I didn’t notice.
Which brings us to now, last week MIL did something so bad that it caused her to get banned from the ICU and caused an entire unit lockdown. Last Tuesday we went to visit him and then went back that Thursday only to find out that he wasn’t allowed to have any visitors and that the unit was on lockdown. DH didn’t want to know exactly what she did, so all the supervisor said that she created a very dangerous situation. DH told them that he understands because he knows his mom is very emotional and she can’t even on a good day handle her own emotions. He knows that there’s something wrong with her. The supervisor made us promise not to tell her that they had switched his room. It was so bad that they wouldn’t even tell MIL he was still in the hospital or not. DH think that all she did was cuss out the staff, but you don’t get a whole unit lockdown from just cussing people out.
MIL’s excuse was that he was telling her that they weren’t treating him right after she leaves. Mind you, he was not lucid at this point because of the meds. MIL thinks the nurses need to wait on him hand and foot or let him do what he wants. Like pulling out the tubes (so they tied him down.) All this has caused unnecessary stress on DH. He’s kept telling me that he can’t wait for his dad to go home so everything can go back to normal. He wants his peace back 🫶🏼. FIL is no longer tied down or hooked up to anything and hopefully going to be sent home, so that MIL can deal with him. Those poor nurses deserve a vacation, dark rum, and maybe some 🔥🌲.
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Oh boy, she’s a lot!
She either made a bomb threat or a death threat.
This situation is going to land right in your lap. If you aren’t careful, all that nc will be a waste of time. They are going to need help. He keeps showing up and doesn’t cut communication off. What would he do if she gets sick too? Who will help them? Good luck navigating this. I wish you luck as someone who has been in your exact position.
You’re calling him literally FORCING you to take pictures a slip up?
What in the….I commend you for visiting the hospital with your DH when his parents are…these kinds of people. I don’t know that I would have.
I agree with another commenter that this is the gateway to opening up more contact and his parents are going to use their health to manipulate DH’s guilt to force their way back into your lives.
I’m gonna need you to stand your ground. We do not let people who call us whores around us or any future children we may have.
You have your work cut out for you. You’re going to have to encourage DH a lot to prioritize his wellbeing over his obligations.
She probably messed with the machines and meds.
My kid has stayed in the hospital a lot. He can be a turd. I found being extremely apologetic and appreciative of the nurses helps, but so does food. We have a tradition that if he’s in over a weekend, we buy donuts for them. I was graced with the name donut fairy.
I’m a former ICU nurse. It takes a special kind of dangerous person to get an ICU to go into lockdown. We only did that when visitors became a physical threat to staff or patients. So whatever your MIL did, it was bad, and I’m glad the hospital banned her.
Your hubby needs to stop downplaying his mother’s actions and be real with himself; his mother is toxic and driving a wedge in your marriage.
Also, YOU need to stop downplaying your husband’s behavior towards you. His parents are causing him strife, and it’s frustrating, but how many of these “blips” are enough for you to see how wrong he is for taking it out on you. You can still love him while still respecting yourself. You’re his wife, not a damn punching bag; i don’t care what someone is going thru, you never treat others like that.