Ok so long story short my husband (F29) and I (F30) live in an apartment together. I own my property (had it before we married). My MIL was due to come round yesterday but arrived a bit early. My partner had his music on loud, she kept knocking and ringing ring doorbell.. i ignored because I don’t like her and hadn’t seen her in a while didn’t want to answer the door and he didn’t hear it.
Eventually after 5 mins, he lets her in. Fine. I don’t like the woman because I think she’s rude and I just can’t be bothered with her disrespectful behaviour.
I look back on the ring doorbell and see that she was throwing little stones at MY window.. 1 by 1 to try and get my husband’s attention who was in the kitchen at the time. I couldn’t believe it. Not just once either- about 5 times. Straight away I said- did you throw stones at my window? She said oh yeah but only little ones to get his attention because nobody was answering.
Errrrm?!!!! I was so mad.. maybe she could Call?! Like a normal person. Although I’d probs ignore anyway.
Partner thinks I’m overreacting and no malicious intent and that she was just trying to be noticed but I am livid. I am about to blow now I’ve digested it.. how could I go about handling this?! Husband thinks I’m pushing my agenda of hating her and looking for any reason but this is a good reason proving as to why?!!
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We have phones now lol I get your frustration! Set boundaries and communicate with husband to tell her not to do it again. He needs to deal with her or if you feel comfortable telling her yourself then do it. Just my suggestion!
He needs to come out of the FOG methinks.
You’re not “looking for reasons” to hate her – she’s giving you reasons with her disrespect. Don’t let your husband’s normal-meter blindness make you doubt yourself. Stand your ground now, or she’ll keep pushing limits.
It’s not a cute romantic bf throwing pebbles at his gf’s window in the middle of the night moment. This was a grown woman who turned up early, decided not to try calling and threw stones at a window instead. Dumb idiot move.
Maybe husband should meet his mother elsewhere.
DH should back down if you state your concern in a way that would reach any courteous person. (I know that’s not MIL but pretend.)
“Gladys, throwing hard stones at my window can break it. Please call us when you get here, at visiting time, if we don’t hear the doorbell so we can make sure you’re welcomed right away.”
Send in your three-way group chat for a record. It’s not dislike of her, it’s common sense, to prevent window breakage.
Tell your partner to speak to his mother about what she did. My MIL used to knock the bedroom windows of mine and my husbands room and my daughters nursery to wake us sup when she woulld show up in the mornings to wake us up. My husband was a shift worker. Worked until sometime between midnight and 2 am. often never got to sleep until somewhere between 1am-3aM if he was lucky and was lucky if baby didnt wake up. After he went to sleep. So we would be sleeping trying to get whatever sleep we can and she’s knocking on both windows yelling out yoohoo hello, let us in we want to see the baby. I was furious. When she did it and I went off and her screaming my head off at her. My FIL laughed and Said I told you that you would be get in trouble if you did it. He had been waiting by the car.. unfortunately she kept this up for quite some time and I went off on her every time. During those visits I never once let see the baby.
“MIL our life is not some eighties teen rom com. Throwing stones could damage my windows and if that happens you will be fully on the hook for repairing them In the future please call if you need to get your son’s attention.”
I would be livid.
I feel like all she needed was a boom box over her head playing love songs and you’ve got some horrible 80s movie she probably grew up watching … but the people doing that in the movies were teenagers in love and they didn’t have cell phones. Pick up the damn phone before you throw rocks at someone’s window… she sounds 12, not 48
Yeah it was a stupid move on her part but I also do think you are charged up beyond what’s proportionate for it. Was there any damage? If not, a simple message from your husband saying “hey mom, noticed you were using stones on the windows to try to get my attention. Please don’t do that again. You can text or call instead which I’m more likely to hear anyways and won’t risk the windows”. It’s dumb on her part, but not an insult to you, and your reaction is I think more about it being her than what she actually did.
This is BEC (Bitch Eating Crackers) territory. As in, you dislike her so much, you could criticize her for just sitting quietly and eating crackers. “Look at that bitch over there eating crackers like she owns the place.”
You’re angry you even have to share space with her, it’s not about the throwing rocks. You may be valid in your feelings about her overall, but you seem to just be focusing it on whatever the latest weird thing she is doing.
She should have called (maybe forgot her phone) but you are overreacting because you don’t like her.
Yup overreacting. Probably wait a minute and she’ll do something to piss you off legitimately.
Honestly, I think this is silly. I agree with others that this is BEC – something that isn’t a big deal, but she annoys you, so everything she does seems unbelievably annoying. It was some pebbles. Not bricks.
Did you tell your husband that you heard your MIL – who was invited and expected – at the door, and just ignored her for five minutes?
Look, you are not going to “win” any arguments with your partner when you are either not being truthful, or you are engaging in deliberately petty behavior yourself. If you don’t want your MIL coming over (or at least, not coming over when you are home), then that is the discussion you need to have with your husband. Not little games of pretend deafness, followed by blowing up over truly nothing.
It was dumb, but I would say it’s from her youth. We would never think about doing it, but it was a thing that people did in movies and books.
Everything my MIL did would drive me absolutely bonkers. I am almost 10 years full, no contact, and now I can find the humor in it. All that energy I spent on being upset or on managing her and her feelings has gone into my own personal growth, and it’s incredible. I highly recommend it.
Yeah, I don’t have my storm door anymore because a person, who was upset with me, kept throwing rocks at it. It was open while the police were here & the wind caught it slightly. It shattered with a loud crack and the 5 police officers flipped for a second until they realized it wasn’t a gunshot.
Rocks thrown against glass WILL weaken the glass eventually.
NOR for being livid. Throwing stones at someone’s window is invasive and passive-aggressive. Your husband’s downplaying it, but it’s not “just being noticed”, it’s a weird and annoying behavior. Set boundaries with your MIL or limit interactions.
lol this is hilarious
Does she think she’s in a movie?
Commenting again because I’m seeing so many people say that you are overreacting/you’re the asshole… am I missing context or something? I don’t see where you reacted at all, other than asking her if she was throwing stones at the window. So, no, you very literally didn’t overreact.
Is the “overreaction” just the fact that you’re mad and made the post? Because lmaoooo everyone pls get a grip
That isn’t an over reaction at all. She could call like a NORMAL person, but that may be a bit beyond her?
How is throwing stones at your window not malicious?