MIL has many health problems, and has a history of not getting it looked at by a medical professional because she is worried about finding out the results. This also means that people worry about her and nag at her to go do the thing. Which I think she feeds off because it makes her inner child that was repeatedly abandoned feel wanted and cared for.
She is severely immunocompromised and has been taking the most ridiculous approach to Covid precautions. She has said things like “I have so much inflammation in my system that I think it protects me from Covid, that’s why I have never had it” and “I don’t want to ask Sibling-in-law to test for Covid (they are exposed to it daily because of their job) before coming to see me because that will upset them and would lead to Sibling-in-law just not coming here” and “if I got Covid nobody would visit me and I couldn’t handle that” and “Covid only ruins peoples lives if they’re immunocompromised or old, but I don’t think it will affect me.”
Well. Guess what? She now has Covid; and the worst bout of it, too. Probably due to her blasé approach to her health. DH’s grandfather (MIL’s FIL) is also in the hospital with Covid right now (he is 93). MIL has been saying things like “this is probably it for me” and “Grandpa (her FIL) has so many people that care about him right now, but I guess nobody cares about me” because she is sick in a town 2 hours away from all of us and we cannot reasonably be exposing ourselves to her germs right now. Well, maybe Sibling-in-law will be willing to expose themself to it because they have a weird relationship with MIL, but not DH and certainly not me.
The manipulation is about to be dialed up a couple notches, and I feel like I’m going crazy!? I can’t bear to think of how much worse this is going to get before it gets better.
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It sounds like your MIL is using illness to seek attention and control, which is emotionally exhausting. Protecting yourself and DH from exposure is the right move. Stay firm with boundaries, don’t give in to guilt, and let her know care doesn’t mean putting your health at risk.
When people exhibit attention seeking behavior, the best thing to do is give them zero attention
if it were me, the next time she said “i guess nobody cares about me” i’d say “i guess you’re right”
She sounds like one of those turds that just won’t flush. Maybe it’s all the inflammation/s
You guys have the right to not expose yourselves and bottom line is she is an adult and can take care of herself. There are plenty of delivery services she can use if she needs anything and if she’s incapable of taking care of herself she can go to the hospital/walk in care/ect.
I can relate to your situation and the guilt you’re probably feeling. During covid I was pregnant and my MIL was having health/mental problems. At one point we were quarantined because I had to have an echocardiogram due of a disorder I have (We had to test negative for covid before the test and were on a tight schedule because of covid/my due date). My MIL texted my husband demanding he text her twice a day going forward and come immediately to her house if she didn’t answer. He told her he wasn’t able to do that and she’s still mad to this day about him saying no. She could have made the same request of his sibling who lived nearby but never did. She obviously didn’t care about putting us at risk and that was upsetting, people who love you dont act like that.
She’ll milk it to death 💀
“I’m sorry you’re sick but unless you take care of yourself this will happen again and again. Bye now. “
Well maybe this really is it for her, in which case, you won’t have to worry about her bullshit anymore…😇
When she pulls through, you know this will be THE tale of woe for possibly the rest of her life, that time she had super special extra bad Covid?
Nah, she sounds like one of those women who refuses to be happy because she thinks whining & complaining gets her more attention. Perhaps she needs to hear “it’s lovely to talk to you when you’re in a positive mood” from you & her son. Hint hint.