4 years ago, when I was pregnant, my MIL insisted she had the “right” to give our daughter her Chinese name (a tradition she didn’t follow for her kids), called the name we picked ugly, and guilt‑tripped me for months after birth. She has always refused to use the name we picked.
Fast‑forward: my MIL named my BIL’s baby the exact same Chinese name and nickname we gave our daughter — they are one letter apart but sound identical, like “Stephen” vs. “Steven.” Her and my FIL call the baby the same nickname we gave our daughter (“Steve”). My husband confronted his parents, and they couldn’t care less – they said they don’t see us using our daughter’s Chinese name much. Which we don’t around them, because of all the backlash & berating. We’d deliberately chosen a really unusual, archaic name, so this wasn’t a coincidence.
I’m heartbroken for my daughter. They stole a piece of her identity to give to another grandchild. I have no idea what sort of people would do that to their own grandkids.
I’ve gone NC with them after this, and we’re trying to figure out how to handle our kids’ relationship with them.
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Your daughter had the name first. If they didn’t like it, then why did they copy it? I wouldn’t let your kids have a relationship with them. They don’t deserve it.