MIL has been grossing me out:
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MIL sucking on baby’s sippy cup and then gives cup back to 7 month old baby
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MIL sharing a popsicle with baby (basically sharing spit)
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MIL sharing food with baby (she takes a bite and then tries to get baby to bite)
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MIL biting on teethers to “teach” baby how to use it
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Baby sticks her hands in my (mom) mouth, and then my MIL puts the baby hands right in her mouth to fake “chew” on them
Maybe I’m just a germaphobe but these all disgust me. We have also had a “no kissing rule” since the baby has been born and honestly kissing doesn’t seem so bad compared to those I listed above.
Brought it up to my husband and he said she probably does it because that’s what she does with his sister (she’s disabled and is pretty much the same as a baby mentally). This explanation makes it worse because it already seems like she’s treating my baby as her “do-over”, but that’s a rant for another time.
Also this lady works with sick people so I’m always worried she’s going to come home and get everyone sick (like when she gave the whole family Covid 2 years ago). (Also a rant for another time).
Alright I’m done rambling, thanks to anyone who reads this lol
Comments
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I have always had to say don’t share germs out loud because of these same reasons!!! Every time she does it and even remove the child from her if she keeps doing it. It’s gross. It needs to be stopped. It’s not safe for baby.
I would shut down those behaviors real quick. In terms of germs, it definitely feels pointless to have a no kissing rule and then let her share food with your baby.
And you’re not wrong for being grossed out by that. Why the fuck is a grown adult sucking on a baby’s sippy cup?
Do you stop her? Do you call her out?
I would put her on a time out with baby for her behavior.
Reading that made me uncomfortable. It almost feels like a violation because the baby doesn’t know it’s gross yet. A few years from now I’m sure he won’t be sharing a pop with her. Ewe just ewe. Update please! Good luck and you are absolutely not wrong.
I would be tempted to tell her: “No swapping spit with the baby. Don’t be gross.”
You should get a popsicle and put the whole thing in your mouth until it’s half-gone. Pull it out as slimy and wet as you can and put it inches from MIL’s mouth while coughing. When she inevitably recoils and asks you why you think she wants to eat your slobbery half-eaten popsicle, ask her why she thinks LO wants to share her spit.
You need to stop her in the moment. Lmao I would’ve thrown that popsicle at her face. Honestly at this point just heavily limit contact.
Oh, hell no. That’s not a germaphobe thing, that’s a “why are you swapping spit with my infant” thing. The fact that she works with sick people makes this a million times worse.
Not for having your boundaries, but for not speaking up about it! It’s your kid, and w/e funk MIL is bringing home, your kiddo get’s 1st dibs. It’s gross, and she’s been warned before! IMO, your hubby needs to step up his game too, not just pass it off as “that’s what she does.” Like hell no, that’s not okay. You got this. Set them rules and stick to it, time for mama bear to roar!
…. It’s gross what she’s doing. Next time she does something like that, take it, throw it in the sink or dishwasher and tell her not to do things like that. Repeat as necessary.
Honestly all these things feeling like fairly typical infant caregiver things to me, but if you don’t like it and it makes you uncomfortable then it’s your job as a mum to set boundaries. I also don’t love your suggestion that she needs a “do over” because she has a disabled kid, that’s fairly ableist. Does your husband know that’s how you feel about his sister?
You are letting MIL do these disgusting and unhealthy things with your child. Time for you to get a spine and anytime MIL tries to do something you don’t like, stop her. If MIL continues to do things, go NC and tell MIL you are putting my baby’s health at risk and until you can stop it is NC with you and baby.
Reading that list made me want to vomit. That’s incredibly gross and needs to stop. I would seriously scream if I saw someone do that to my kids.
You need to make a list like the one in your post and tell her that she’s not allowed to do any of those things. Then call her out each time she does something “MIL, don’t do that”. There needs to be consequences as well.
Bigger question is why haven’t you been telling her no and stopping it as it happens.