MIL inviting herself over more lately

Trying to navigate my MIL inviting herself over, she does not pop by which is nice (when she moved closer to us we set that boundary right away and no issues so far). She invites herself over though, which is super uncomfortable. She recently texted us same day asking if we were available for a quick coffee and only asked for a couple hours of our time, we had plans later but told her to expect us to have to leave at a certain time. I wanted to say yes because she was doing all the right things, texting us in advance and she respected that we had to leave. A couple reasons I didn’t want to say yes was because 1) Hadn’t seen her since she told me I was going to be a bad mom 2) I didn’t want her taking this as a common occurrence.

Fast forward, her “stopping by” went well compared to others, she only talked to DH and all she did was talk about the past. DH and I dated in HS, she acts like I wasn’t apart of some of these stories or asks me if I know someone in the story, so exhausting, its been 12 years. During this visit she tells us that her nieces will be in town from out of country, only for a week. She tells us that she is going to bring them over to see our dog, where we live, and hangout with us. I don’t do well with people TELLING me what I am going to do. We are busy all the weekends in June when they are coming which I told her, and I mentioned how I wish I knew they were coming. She said she told DH, and I have told her numerous times if she wants plans to go well and be solidified, that I just need to be included in the texts because DH doesn’t listen to her. I didn’t say that end part but that’s why.

She was receptive ISH to us being busy and sent us a text asking us out of the 3 weekdays which ones can we do, and that she would bring the girls over during the day hangout with me (again we didn’t offer our place to hangout, we would have but I didn’t even get the space to do it), then she told DH he has to come home early no if, ands or buts. Now, this lady for some fking reason thinks because I WFH that I am just fking off all day, she has made numerous comments when I started working from home and I have told her how WFH works for me but she still doesn’t believe me. Anyways, I was so annoyed that she is telling DH, who works long hours, at his grown age of 30, that he HAS to come home early.. I don’t even ask him to come home early. Also, we love the girls and wanted to see them longer so we rescheduled our plans for the weekend and invited them then instead. I added in my text when telling her “…then we can hangout with the girls longer and unfortunately DH can’t come home early all the time so this helps with that too” Her response was fine because now she gets a whole day.

Fast forward some more, her and DH were suppose to get mother’s day lunch this week but she said she can’t anymore. She invited me, which we had a problem before with her leaving me out of plans and saying how she doesn’t have to text me to invite me. But I’ll be damned if I hear “OHHH youre here” which I have gotten before. I unfortunately am busy but told her thank you for thinking of me (AKA trying to say yes this is what I am looking for without saying it out right) and then she said “We’re always thinking of you!” which then pissed me off because stfu lmao.

Now, she is asking to see us one of these weekends which we aren’t free until we see her and the nieces. I usually respond but she takes it as an attack when I am the one to say “Hey we’re busy” so I let DH to it. BUT because this man hates texting, he has not responded to her in 3 days which is so funny to me.

End rant, but I (or DH) really want to softly tell her in some manner like “hey, stop offering our space and inviting yourself over” but I once told her to not worry about our cars lease agreement and she started crying.