Pregnant and water broke at 39 weeks and 2 days. MIL called DH on the phone to ask the status. I was in extreme pain because of contractions. I endured them for 5 hours before getting an epidural because of some confusion. I was in mid shivers when she called DH. She asked what names we’ve chosen. She knew what DH wanted to name and when she heard the name I chose, she called it “too common”.
I never have asked her opinion, I turned a deaf ear to her suggestions, her suggestions have been so terrible, I wondered how she kept such a nice name to DH, I’ve never even spoken to her the days leading up to my delivery. Her timing and her common sense are so bad. FIL and SIL have also done shitty stuff during my labor and delivery being in different parts of the world.
DH stood by my side and said “we’re informing, not asking”
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why is your husband answering the phone????
Tell her that meddling, pain in the ass mother-in-laws are “too common”.
Honey, it’s not that her timing and common sense are lacking. She behaves like this on purpose. She does and says these things intentionally. Your DH needs to learn how to shut her down.
Good thing your mil already got to name her own children. She doesn’t have a say in what you name yours. She doesn’t like LO’s name then she needs to buckle up as there will be even more parenting stuff I’d do that she won’t agree with.
ETA my petty heart is laughing knowing whatever grandma name your mil picks will be way more common than the name you chose for LO.
I don’t like my grandchildrens names… they are too modern for my taste., but my kids just laugh at me. My opinion or disappointment is not their problem or concern and I wouldn’t expect anything else.
Go over to r/tragedeigh and search for the worst names they can imagine, or ask them to turn a normal name into a nightmare. Rank them and tell her a new name from this list, one worse than the other, until she begs you to go back to the one that was “too common” for her.
“I guess you’ll have no problem remembering/pronouncing it then!”
A grandma here….if she brings it up to you personally just say in a VERY concerned tone…”oh gosh MIL I’m sorry you’re unhappy about the name. Maybe it’s best you don’t visit baby until you get your feelings under control over her name”
Why the heck did he answer the phone in the first place? 😝 Anyway, good that he responded the way he did! Cudos to your husband!
My MIL did something similar post partum. We had to choose between two names. And stupid us had talked to family and friends about it, a little bit prior to baby. So, when MIL and FIL visited 10 days PP (surprise visit, mind you), we told them about the name we chose. MIL reaction: the other name is 7 times nicer.
I was just baffled, said something like “well, we like this name and are happy with our choice”. My partner and FIL said NOTHING.
My MIL was extremely opinionated about baby names when I was pregnant. But we found out I was having a girl at about 20 weeks and decided on a name. But when she was born we didn’t think the name suited her so we changed it and I thought a fantastic name very quickly that we both loved. Everyone was stunned when they were told who they were meeting but my. MIL more so than others.she was pi$$$ed off we didn’t consult wit her about the names because we also revealed her middle name that we had kept secret. But my MIL wanted her first grand to be a boy she told me this many times I was pregnant and kept nagging us whenever we saw her even after we new it was a girl, because she believed that god would answer her prayers and change the sex( she’s delusional), and was so upset when it turned out to be a girl that she told me this many that I was a disapointment to her and that her first grandchild was supposed to be male..I tolerated this while I was pregnant because everyone was talking about what they hope I have. But the stop hoping for a bompy when I found out the sex.
“we’re informing, not asking”
Hell to the yes. Shut that shit down with no room to wiggle. THAT is the phrase to memorise, to practise in the mirror, to wield to protect yourselves. More power to you all!
Yay DH for informing! But boo DH for answering the phone. And engaging in that conversation.
Congratulations on your LO.
I said to mine, “opinions are like booty holes. Everyone has them and they stink!” We named our babies what we named them and took zero input from anyone else.
“Is it too common, or are you too judgmental?”
Tell her you’ve come up with the most unusual grandparent name you could think of, just for her: Mrs. HerLastName! And then stick to it. See how much she’s really committed to the rare and exotic. 😈
Excellent response from your husband.
Oh, I love that response: “we’re informing, not asking”.
Your husband is awesome. High five to him for knowing exactly what to say!
I’d definitely rather have a common name than a super weird r/tragedeigh name
WHY don’t hospitals put signal blockers in L&D? Tho it would greatly decrease the number of posts in this sub…
Who cares what MIL thinks. She’s just another attention seeker.
Common is always better than something made up or spelled creatively. Common or not it simply is not the insult that she meant for it to be.
Those royals in the UK all have common names. Try asking if she thinks she’s better than royalty if she brings it up again.
Exactly- we’re informing, not asking. Mine had all sorts of “creative” names (all super dated, trashy not at all our taste) I really don’t understand how they convince themselves that their opinions matter 😒