My partner (26M) and I (26F) have been living together for three years now. He speaks to his mother on the phone every day. Most of the time, I can hear his voice during the call, and I’ve noticed that she never mentions me. Even when he tells her that I’m home or that I’m around, she never asks, “How is she?” or says, “Let me say hi to her.”
I find this strange because, in the beginning, when we first started dating, she used to ask about me. But for a long time now, she’s completely stopped. It feels intentional, like she’s purposely avoiding any mention of me to ignore my presence in her son’s life, or to avoid asking him questions that might shift his attention toward me.
This feeling was confirmed for me when she was once on speakerphone, and she heard me in the background. She asked if that was me, and when he said yes, she just responded with a dismissive “hmm” and quickly changed the subject.
I can’t help but wonder – does she dislike me? Or am I just overthinking it?
She never messages me either, unless she’s trying to find out where her son is. She gets anxious if he doesn’t respond within thirty minutes—something I find quite unusual.
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Don’t worry about it. Maybe she doesn’t like you. So what? Do you want to hang out with her?
Be grateful she doesn’t call or text you. Keep the same relationship that you have now when you are pregnant or have kids. Everything goes through SO.
His mom, his to manage.
2 pieces of advice I always refer to:
What other people think about me is none of my business.
It does not matter what other people think about me. What matters is how they treat me.
Definitely on purpose. But take the peace & quiet while you can. She could be the opposite and insist on calling or messaging you constantly.
Don’t let it get to you and maybe talk to your partner about how weird it is. Surely he sees it too.
Also it sound like you also have a significant other issue since he allows her to be like this to you. Also why is he talking to his mom everyday. and personally I wouldn’t answer her calls or texts looking for him.
My mother is also a dick. I only speak to her once a week, but she never asks about Mrs Dubh, despite us being married for over twenty years.
She may not have clicked, but this is the reason she’s not been invited to the warm side of the world since pre covid.
I’d definitely get that daily phone call nipped in the bud. That’s ridiculous. Snip those apron strings. Grow up, lad.
You are taking her son’s attention away from her. That’s her problem with you. If I were you I would ask your husband questions while he is on the phone with his mother just because. But I can be very petty.
Gonna add- do not respond when she texts you asking where he is!
Match her energy and don’t bother responding when she treats you like his secretary.
Does she treat you weird when it’s only the two of you? Does she changer her tone when her son it’s not in the room ?
This is weird behavior. I won’t comment on talking everyday with your parents since everyone has a different opinion on that, but I can tell you that every time that I talk to my parents or brother they ask for my husband. Not even a single time they have missed that and if they hear him on the phone they alway say hi to him.
Have you talked to your partner about this?
Does he think that his mom’s attitude is normal?