I adore my MIL, but recently I have been having more anxiety about her coming to visit our newborn. This is mainly because my MIL is oddly persistent. She use to not be like this, up until we had our child.
For example our son contacts naps, but sleeps perfectly at night alone. When she came over she was very persistent on us putting baby down for bed even though we continually told her he only contacts naps. So much so, we were pressured into it and ended up ruining babies sleep schedule trying to entertain her antics.
She was oddly persistent on our son eating and while holding him, trying to convince us that he’s not hungry .. even though we know our son and he’s indeed letting out a hunger cry.
It is starting to give me anxiety and honestly frustrate me because I don’t really understand why there is a need for persistence. With my mom we set a boundary and then my mom says okay cool and then the conversation is over. I don’t really understand why with my MIL when we set the boundary she feels the need to continue on trying to convince us otherwise.
I told my husband this and he said that it’s not a problem he will continue to be stern in stipulating our boundaries. And “if she wants to be persistent, just let her. We don’t have to do what she says.” But my problem is more so why can’t she just let it go?
I told my husband that his mom won’t ever watch our son by herself because she doesn’t know how to listen. I told him her persistence to go against our boundaries is a clear sign to me that she doesn’t respect our wishes and wants to implement her own methods and I’m not okay with that. I said my mom listen, I tell her not to do something and she stops. I tell her the rules and she doesn’t question it. I’m not sure why your mother feels the need to fight us on everything we do with our son.
He again just said it is what it is. Let her be persistent and he will stand firm about what our boundaries are. He’s an ex mamas boy so sometimes he gets soft and lets her manipulate him. Tomorrow I have two appointments and I’m tempted to cancel them because I just don’t like leaving her by herself with my husband because I’m nervous my husband will give into to her persistence while I’m gone..
Has anyone else dealt with this?
We’ve tried to have convos with her. She seems receptive b but then defaults back to suggestions and telling us what to do and not letting it go.
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Take baby to the appointments if you can.