Just venting.
Yesterday I told MIL I wanted to keep my 2yr old inside. He didn’t seem right. Just felt warm and low energy and I had a gut feeling he was coming down with something. I figured a chill day inside, watching shows and resting, would be better for him.
She kept insisting he needed fresh air. Said I was overthinking it. Kept pushing. It was hot out too. I ended up giving in just to avoid the back and forth. We kept him in the pool so he wouldn’t overheat and he seemed to enjoy himself, but I still felt uneasy the whole time.
By bedtime his fever was 103.2 (rectal). He looked totally out of it. Still smiling a little but just not himself. He slumped into me while I carried him to bed and I didn’t want to let him go. I gave him Motrin, kept him close, checked his temp through the night. It came down a bit, but still around 100 this morning.
Now I feel like garbage. Scratchy throat, congestion, body aches, and to top it off I’m on day 3 of my period which means cramps and lower back pain on top of the feverish exhaustion.
My youngest is 1 and just started antibiotics a couple days ago for a tick bite. No symptoms thankfully, but yesterday he was acting slumpy too. Just low energy and weirdly quiet all day. I have two babies under three acting sick while I feel like I’m getting sick myself and bleeding through my clothes.
This morning I asked my husband to take the 1yr old outside for a bit so I could stay inside with the toddler and rest. He immediately started making excuses and then said “well I just want to relax too.”
I didn’t even know how to respond to that. I don’t want to relax on a beach. I want to lay on the floor and not be touched for five minutes. I’m exhausted, I’m in pain, I’m running on empty and still showing up for everyone, and somehow that still isn’t enough to warrant a break.
He always does this too. Anytime I say I’m in pain or overwhelmed, he says something like “yeah same” or “I feel that too” like it’s a contest. He did it all the time when I was pregnant and apparently it’s never going to stop.
Anyway. I’m sick, my kids are sick, and I still have to be the one keeping everything together. Just needed to get that out.
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His boss even sent him home early today cause he knew our toddler was sick and that I was going to take him in to be seen if his temp didn’t lower. So I don’t know why he thought he was just going to come home and relax.
Wait till he inevitably gets sick also and then do absolutely nothing to help him. Maybe even leave him with the baby for a bit while you “run an errand”
You have a garbage husband. What kind of adult acts that way about their own child/spouse
You have to learn to stand up for yourself and your children.
you are a pushover and your husband and his mother know how to handle you.
You have to learn to be stronger and take care of yourself and your children.
You have two problems : you and your marriage.
Don’t make parenting decisions based on your MIL. There shouldn’t be any back and forth with her about what you’re going to do with your day and with your children. When you say no, you end the conversation and block her number on your phone if she starts harrassing you.
I thinks this post shows a lot about how you see yourself and what you think of your self worth, which is not much… You chose to have another child with this when you knew how he acted during your first pregnancy. Why ?
Your husband sucks as much as your MIL, and they treat you like shit because you let them.
My answer to that “well I just want to relax too.” would have been : I’m not relaxing you dumb f***. I’m sick and on my period so stop acting like a selfish assholes and go and spend some alone time with your kid for f*** sakes.
You need to stop allowing these people to bully you. You dont need to go back and forth with MIL. Its not a negotiation and you are responsible for your child’s wellbeing, not her feelings. This is a lesson learned that you need to set better boundaries.
“We’re having a chill day today because LO seems off.”
“You’re over-reacting. Fresh air will do him good. You really shouldn’t keep him couped up inside.”
“I’ll let you know when I need help. We will be going now.”
If you live with MIL that’s a nightmare, but you can and should just disengage and walk away, not give in.
As for your husband, if he is always like this, the only thing you can change is you. You cant rely on him so either start telling him what he needs to do and dont let him get an out or find a way not to count on him. If youre not in couples counseling, this is where I would go.
God forbid you get seriously ill or injured, how can you actually believe he will step up and take care of you when he cant even show up for your kids that HE has no reason not to be responsible for? He is showing you who he is, believe him.
I always thought I would have these problems because I have a a nosy and pushy MIL but it all changed when I had kids. Like I literally don’t care what she says or thinks. It doesn’t even register in my mind, if anything I immediately react with the opposite thought or action
I’m sorry but letting your MIL bully you into doing things that are not safe and because you don’t want to get into an argument or “back and forth” is a major problem. You honestly did this to yourself. And I know that’s not helpful but for real tho, be a mom and protect your kids. And sometimes that means looking “crazy” (words from many mil’s) to protect them. That’s your one major job. I’m about to give birth and I live with my JNFMIL and my bf and I have put in major safety precautions and standards and that back and forth you’re talking about will be handled by my bf. As moms, our baby’s safety should be priority and if your partner won’t handle it. You do. Because it’s about them kids not your feelings and being inconvenienced by your MIL.