Hi everyone, just wanted to share my situation and maybe get some insight. I will try not to drag it out as this has a been a long 9 year relationship issue. So basically I (31)first met my partner (32) at a mutual Job about 9 years ago. I first met his sibling who was interested in me but I was not. I ended up meeting my SO and we began dating. I believe that’s where the issues started because his brother started bad mouthing me immediately after. He would say that I was not taking my SO seriously, that I was using him etc cheating. We used to argue alot and there was a time period where we would go out and drink and argue also. There was one instance where we were arguing and his other brother happened to be there and started screaming at me and then. At my SO. Since then his family has been very nosy. We moved in together about 3 years ago and his mom started showing her true colors. She demands that he visit her every other week when he is off of work and if he doesnt she says that I don’t allow him to. She claims that I use all his money, that I use him, that I only want us to hang out with my mom and not her, she tries to reprimand me everytime I don’t finish my food because she says it’s a waste of money, she says I make him pay for everything, etc. Also says that I don’t take care of him, that I don’t cook enough even though I have been taking care of him ever since he was diagnosed with a medical condition after we moved in. I coordinate all his doctor visits and medications but she has only acompanied us once. Recently we began discussing marriage and potentially a destination wedding. We brought this up during dinner with her and her attitude completely changed. She asked him, infront of me, if he was sure about that because he can’t just get married and then get divorced (???). When I stepped away to the restroom, he told me she asked if he was sure about this because she didn’t think I would really take care of him. She didnt even finish her dinner after this and she seemed upset. Two days later his brother calls him & tells him that his mom was telling everyone that she doesnt approve because she thinks I am not a good enough woman and I will be a bad mom. She then called my boyfriend and told him the same. He defended me but not how I wanted. Which is hilarious because she has been asking me why we havent had a child yet. I am upset and tired of his families nonsense all these years. He usually tells her she has to be nice but this time I just want to go no contact and I told him he has to have a serious talk with her. We also had plans for a trip for 4th of July but honestly I don’t even want to see her after knowing shes badmouthing me. My family says shes wrong but at the end of the day that she is his mother. But I am sick of her and her comments. What do yall think? Thank you!
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I absolutely would not marry into this family nor have a child with your partner. Until he can grow a pair and defend you 100% I would put this relationship on hold
You aren’t required to spend time with people who treat you like crap and badmouth you. Cut her off.