MIL visits & first grandchild

r/

How often does your MIL come to visit to your baby? I’m wondering if my MIL is visiting too much or not or it could be my hormones. She also lives 5mins away.
I’m first time mom, baby is 6months old and she is the first grandchild on both sides.
My MIL visits at least 1 a week, if I get lucky I’ll get a week she doesn’t visit. Our relationship prior to baby was fine didn’t really have any issues and we saw her like once a month or longer. Since having our baby our relationship has shifted and of course it’s all about the baby now. Which kinda bugs me and I have felt very invisible when she has came over to visit. She would go straight to baby and pick her up every time which I don’t like. Would give her opinions on things and don’t eat spicy food, etc (we had a reflux baby).
Now anytime she visits my anxiety peaks, like knots in my stomach. Oh now my baby freaks out every time she sees or hears her too.

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  1. botinlaw Avatar

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  2. Prize-Juggernaut-810 Avatar

    Okay to be honest usually with these post I side with mama but once a week when she only lives 5 min away is nothing! It obviously depends on the length of her visits but if she comes once a week for 2 hours, that would be pretty normal in my book.

    HOWEVER you are the mama so your rules stand, so if you have to talk to her about boundaries and rules such as no picking up, stop unasked advice. Go for it! That is more than fair

  3. bookwormingdelight Avatar

    My MIL lives ten minutes away (far too close) and she became really pushy when I had my daughter. Wanted to come over every week. Normally we saw her maybe every 2-3 months.

    We pushed back and said no. Things have escalated and now we are no contact.

    Be the bad guy. It’s your baby.

  4. Vibe_me_pos Avatar

    At least the baby is on your side! Your LO screaming when MIL comes near her is a huge help and great excuse to tell MIL not to pick up baby.