I get the idea behind it, people want to live freely without being judged or policed by others. And yes, in many cases, it’s completely fair to say “just let them live.” But this phrase has gone from a call for privacy to a blanket excuse for absolutely everything, no matter how bizarre or concerning.
At some point, we stopped being allowed to question anything. A grown adult wants to crawl on all fours, wear a collar, and bark at strangers in public? “Not hurting anyone.” Someone live-streams their every meltdown for attention? “Mind your business.” But if no one ever says, hey, this might not be normal, how are we supposed to maintain any shared sense of reality?
I’m not saying we should go around shaming people or controlling lives. But there has to be a middle ground between total interference and total indifference. We’ve confused kindness with silence and that silence is letting all kinds of chaotic behavior slip through the cracks under the banner of tolerance.
“Mind your business” works in some cases, but as a rule for society? It’s letting us pretend everything’s fine when in real, it’s really not.
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Mind your own business OP
>At some point, we stopped being allowed to question anything
Because a lot of people don’t want to actually ask a question, they want to pass judgement.
Is there a risk that a child or someone not involved is going to get hurt? If not then what is the reason for not minding your own business?
The real critical thinking/“common sense” is being able to tell the difference between something that harms or affects you and something you personally think is weird. A lot of people have….no ability to do that.
Do you truly think you’re going to stop someone from livestreaming their meltdowns by telling them it’s not normal? No, you know they want attention, so just don’t give it to them. If it stops being an effective way of getting attention, they’ll stop doing it.
As for a grown man walking around on all fours…what, precisely, is the problem? Yes, it’s weird. But again, just ignore them.
Agreed. Been saying it for years but was always told to “mind my business”
Bro is about to drown in “mind your business” comments.
Do you seriously think those two things aren’t activley shamed or talked about when they happen?
Like half of the comments I see on any livestreamed emotional breakdown or traumatic personal momemnt is talking about how this shouldn’t be streamed, that the person in question needs to find proffesional help and take a break from the internet for a few days.
People get shamed for kissing the same gender in public still. Do you seriously think people are crawling around barking and no one says anything? Either offline or online?
Looks like someone’s entered an Alt right pipeline
You don’t want people going around and shaming people or controlling what they can do, but you also don’t want to mind your business? idk how that works
Bring back judging
honestly, its gotten to the point where we must accept everything. Its no wonder people are doing dumber things today
I mean, I guess in theory I agree, but what does that ultimately mean in practice?
You encounter someone walking on all fours, wearing a collar, etc…..what do you do? What if they tell you, “I like doing this. It’s fun.”…okay, and then what?
What if your beliefs mean seeing an interracial couple is just as abnormal to you? Do you start questioning the couple over it?
> all kinds of chaotic behavior slip through the cracks under the banner of tolerance.
Behavior that ultimately doesn’t really impact you at all.
What society do you live in? No one minds their business. People get cancelled for 10+ year old tweets and social media posts and both liberals and conservatives tell the other how to live
The live streamer melting down for attention… is melting down.. for ATTENTION.. you said it yourself. If no one paid them any attention they’d stop…
The man walking on all fours with a collar wants to cause controversy.. if you paid him no mind, no one would even hear of it, and no one would care
Who gets to decide what’s normal? The Mind your business lifestyle is a short cut to “judge not”.
You want there to be a “line” but I don’t want you deciding it for us. Law and judicial system attempts to thwart the most concerning behaviors.
“I want to judge people without being judged for being judgmental.”
FTFY
Shared sense of reality? My dude, that was done away with at least a decade ago.
That’s the problem though no one gets shamed anymore. Sometimes that’s the only thing people understand. Wearing Cat ears and a dog collar has never been normal. They got comfortable.
mutant dogs arent really my problem
I think those things are already rare and are definitely shamed. I have never heard of someone walking around on all fours, wearing a collar and barking at strangers in public. I’m not sure that’s ever happened, and if it has it was almost definitely a one off stunt for attention, probably for social media and they were definitely heavily judged for it.
Ah yes, because fringe cases of “degeneracy” you see online, made DELIBERATELY for the sake of outrage and engagement, is the TRUE cause behind social decay… totally not the immense and increasing wealth inequality, or rising fascisms etc.
I don’t think we live in a myob environment anymore anyway, quite the opposite. More like a gossip is the norm sort of place. If I go on a date a woman will have my financial information, reviews from prior people I’ve dated, where I live, where I’ve traveled, who I’ve talked to, even if I’m good in bed. I’m not sure if myob ever really existed but it sure doesn’t today.
If what you’re doing affects others, whether it’s affecting their ear space, eye space, smell space, or impacts their ability to interact with the world, or stay safe in it, then you just made whatever you’re doing their business.
Now, there are degrees within that statement which are far more sane arguments than others for whose responsibility it is to stop the things happening, but for the most part, if what you’re doing is only affecting you, it’s your business and no one else’s
Yay, a know-it-alll wants to comment on shit that has nothing to do with them. Mind your fucking business
I got a better idea. Mind your own damn business.
How no one minds their business
>I’m not saying wrong should go around shaming people or controlling lives.
That is exactly what you are saying.
How do you intend to stop this behavior without controlling other people’s lives?
I wish people would mind their own business so I could go about my life but that’s not what happens at all. If I let my kids play outside without me being there 24/7 to watch them I get CPS called on me by my nosy neighbors, if I wear too short of shorts I get people in my business, if I paint my house a bright color I get people in my business. No one minds their own business.
All the problems in the world and your worry about a lack of common sense is someone barking on all fours in public?
>Someone live-streams their every meltdown for attention? “Mind your business.”
I mean, obviously. They’re doing that to get attention. The best way to deal with them is to pretend you don’t notice.
>A grown adult wants to crawl on all fours, wear a collar, and bark at strangers in public? “Not hurting anyone.”
When, exactly, did that happen?
your examples are not good, but sure. sometimes we owe people standardly good behvior. i see that where this fails most currently is with lack of active good behavior, rather than an abundance of active bad behavior. you owe the rest of society to take make your walk just a teeny tiny bit longer than it would’ve been to throw the trash in the can, and such things.
There isn’t really anything to gain from judging strangers. I agree it’s not great if someone is live-streaming performative meltdowns. But that’s not a problem for people who don’t know the person to solve beyond just not engaging with that kind of content. The middle-ground solution is for people in that person’s life to talk to them about their actions if its becoming a problem. Or if you want public shaming, it comes in the form of general discussions about the behavior but not something that’s directed at the person.
We definitely still have public discussions about what kind of behaviors are harmful or not and why, so I’m not sure why you’re assuming that the “mind your business”-mentality is preventing any kind of public discourse.
Mind your own beeswax
You could say this ten years ago. It doesn’t apply now when hate, bigotry and judgement is worse than ever
True, eventually the line between ok and perversion becomes very thin, and we suffer for that.
Where’s this magical land you live in where everyone is minding their own business?
I think “minding your own business” is alright even when it comes to very weird behaviours, as long as those actiosn don’t hurt anyone. Life is sad and hard as it is – if doing something unusual helps someone to cope or give them a bit of happiness, good for them.
I was raised in conservative, rather judgemental family. I try to be better than them but I am still prone to (silently) judging other people. When I want to judge someone, I always ask myself a question: And how exactly does it affect ME?
If it doesn’t, I just mind my own business.
(Obviously, it doesn’t apply to universally bad/hurtful behaviours, like i.e. beating a child or being cruel to animals.)
Nah, the right needs to mind there own business for sure
My question is, how does someone crawling around on all fours barking really impact your life beyond being uncomfortable? Like why do you care so much about it?
Mind your own buisness. You’re a busy body using outliers to justify sticking your nose where it isn’t needed.
Mind your own buisness means if it isn’t causing a direct problem and you can simply walk away. Do so.
Too many of you are itching to try controlling other people and looking for excuses to do it.
Mind your own buisness.
May he who is without sin cast the first stone. Mind your own business
Yup so what’s the alternative? We establish some sort of communal, public approval process for behavior? I cannot tell you enough times to go fuck yourself.
People doing things that aren’t normal or that I wouldn’t do doesn’t change our shared sense of reality. They’re doing it. It’s not for me. It’s not my problem. Reality still exists just like it did 100 years ago.
Consuming a ton of propaganda about controlling other people certainly does negatively impact our shared sense of reality and that will rapidly become everyone’s problem.
Guy makes up a hypothetical example, can’t provide one from real life, and wants us to be concerned about it.
Beat friend cheats on their girlfriend whom im friends with? I tell her i feel sorry for her. Get told to “Mimd my own business “. Lost a friend. Girl i work with gets stalked and harassed by a male employee. I go to hr . Got told by the Union im a liar and to “mind my own business “ . People don’t want consequences for their actions. Fuck the world.
It all really depends on the context. I prefer “mind your own business” over “in god we trust” because it should never be about imposing your way of life on any person. No “divine” entity or government should ever impose such ways. There’s no one size fit all to life. Again, context because there’s apathy, also.
The idea that eccentric behavior is some sort of new event is simply the media amplifying effect. We think crime is everywhere even though it continues to decline, we think crazy people are everywhere acting crazy because that’s what gets clicks and views.
Socrates wandered around dressed like a bum and rarely bathed.
Diogenes lived in a ceramic urn.
People be weird.
Ever since I became a mandated reporter I legally cannot. People dislike that but if I see people being assholes to their kids or the elderly in public, I will not be minding my own business. Everything else, not illegal, flies and I will ignore it
That’s the difference between positive and negative liberty.
The names are counterintuitive, but we have been abandoning positive liberty (the door to becoming the best version of yourself is very narrow) in favour of negative liberty (any attempt to tell you what to do prevents you from becoming your best self).
It’s not working because when we are left to our own devices, we tend to opt for becoming the worst version of ourselves.
Who decides what’s normal. I hope it is not you. Personally I think more people should mind their own fucking business if it doesn’t directly affect them. Bigots need to be in others peoples business to feel superior.
Well said.. like we are supposed to tolerate bad behaviors for the sake of not judging etc.
OP is right. Upvoted for that, regardless of unpopularity.
What occasionally broils my hindquarters is when we discover somebody doing something actively fraudulent, stealing, stuff like that, and it does affect you, but they still say mind your business.
No, cheating on your taxes won’t just affect you. It means that money is no longer available for the government to use. My services will be reduced or taxes can go up as a result.
You stealing means that saying is no longer available to the person who owned it. Plus, they develop a more negative view of society. They are less giving. That affects everyone. Just because you didn’t steal it from me doesn’t mean it doesn’t have an effect in general.
Yeah I keep hearing there is a shortage of shame.
The human dogs, the adults babies, the furries… weird things are becoming more and more acceptable.
Well kind of hard to identify what “normal” is anymore because you have people in all forms of religion, government, influencers, socialites, actors, actresses, media, press etc, etc….trying to tell us what it is. So each person’s perspective, opinion, or belief of what they see as normal is different. Just because something is morally wrong doesn’t mean it is illegal. So yes mind your business.
It’s because people have heard about things via a game of therapy telephone. So they never actually learn what a concept actually means and how to properly execute it. It’s the Dunning-Kruger effect – those with limited knowledge often overestimate their understanding.
My favorite example of this is 1 + 1 = 2. The proof of this over 350 pages long. Because the authors took the time to consider and define everything that is needed to both prove and understanding why 1 + 1 = 2. But most of us would just go it’s obvious, hold up our fingers to show, and question why on earth they needed more than that.
You see it feeling vs opinion, feeling vs disorder, boundaries vs controlling, and a whole slew of things. The mind your own business thing likely stemmed from a combination of advice for dealing with establishing boundaries and ending people pleasing behaviors that was passed from person to person to person until it ended up advising the full opposite, also negative, behavior.
Because you should absolutely mind other people’s business. That’s how we catch things like child and spousal abuse, increase safety outcomes in traffic, fight fires, etc. like everything that happens in a community effects everyone in the community even if you think it doesn’t. And being in each others business is what forms community, which in turnbenefits you and everyone around you..
Normal is a cudgel we use to beat people into conforming to our view of how they should act.
Anyone who decides they are the authority on how others should behave needs to take a history class.
We must balance our need for safety with someone else’s right to self autonomy. It’s giving “control” for me.
In order for me to do some of the things I want to do, I’ve got to accept that others will do some things I don’t like or even find offensive.
My displeasure with your lifestyle isn’t a right to push my morality onto you. I’m not the purveyor of truth or the guardian of character.
How often do people exhibiting such behavior actually care about being judged? They might very well thrive on confrontation. However, in a situation a person is being assaulted by someone or otherwise needs help, yes I think bystanders should help in any way they are able
This is only unpopular on Reddit and with the far left. Those of us in red states have bullied those people into hiding.
I may question your lifestyle in my head, but when I question you with my mouth, it’s going to be trouble.
Mind Yo Business. I’ll Mind Mine and we’ll meet somewhere in the Middle.
What are you doing when you see the dude barking at strangers in public?
I’ll take that someone walks in all fours and bark. What would the damage be for other people if someone did that?
“I don’t want to control other people’s lives”- just massively influence, shame, and control them into being more like mine!
God forbid a man wear cat ears and a spiky collar in public, whatever will we do if you start judging us, I’m sure that’s never happened before (imagine I’m saying this with immense sarcasm)
Judgment of others is wildly popular
>A grown adult wants to crawl on all fours, wear a collar, and bark at strangers in public?
when did this happen? if someone’s doing that i’m not gonna stop them
If I see a random person doing the things you said, I’m going to mind my own business.
If I see my friends, family, etc., then I might have a discussion about whether or not what they’re doing is healthy. They’re in my circle so in a way they are partially my business. I’m not saying I’m going to tell them to stop, but it warrants a discussion to try to understand.
I take the mind your own business mantra to be if it’s something wildly distant from you, don’t worry about it, and don’t impede on someone else. Yeah if someone needs help, and you can give it, great. But focus on those close to you.
Yeah, if I see something that’s weird to me, I’ll internally say that’s fucking weird and move on. It’s my opinion and I’ll keep it to myself because, let’s be honest, nobody wants to hear your opinion unless they ask for it.
You are well within your right to have such an opinion. It’s the moment you start voicing that opinion
rule 7, your homophobia is neither subtle nor clever
I think a good rule of thumb is that if someone’s actions don’t substantially affect another person then you should “mind your business”. If not then who gets to decide whats normal, and where do we draw the line at overreach? I will tolerate furries if the alternative is medieval intolerance.
I don’t care if someone climb son all fours and barks.
What gets me is when people say “mind your business” when it is something that affects other people. A passenger started screaming and swearing at a bus driver and i told him that was unnecessary to speak to the driver like that. So he started screaming at me to mind my business. Dude, not only are you screaming in public, the bus driver just stopped the bus to deal with you during morning rush hour when people are going to work and school. That literally is the business of everyone on the bus.
Crazy street,
Insane State,
Deranged World
Thats where you live right? Because no one minds their own business. Furthermore as someone with psuedobulbar affect I just want you to know that people who have what others deem as “meltdowns” often arent of the tantrums club. Ableist mindsets hurt everyone. Then again, if you minded your own business it wouldnt matter…
You’re well within your right to have such an opinion. It’s when you begin to think your opinion matters/should matter to others, and you begin to voice it that you’ll be told to mind your own business, especially when nobody asked for your opinion.
I disagree! Upvote.
I would argue the principle of “mind your own business” is being identified as a symptom and credited as a root cause by OP and that the contextual basis of “mind your own business” has been perverted by some egregarious instances of the contemporary government ‘normalising’ a lot of things – for better or for worse – to not be private when they would have been for years.
We need to stop pretending our society is “too tolerant,” it’s really just segregated into tolerant areas and intolerant areas. Areas where people can be free, and areas where they have to conform.
I’ll take scenarios that never happened for $500, Alex. Seems to me like you’re deliberately going for the extremes to make a point, when in all reality, you know as well as I do that the “mind your own business” comments apply to things that really don’t harm anyone in any way, like a same sex couple wanting to make sure their marriage stays legally recognized, or someone who just wants to use the bathroom for its intended purpose without being harassed
are you talking about internet society or in real life society?
in real life the abnormal is still shamed & avoided. If you behave strangely at work, there will absolutely be consequences. in public you’ll get funny looks, sometimes disgusted looks, and will be treated poorly – even by “customer service”.
on the internet the “abnormal” is “normal”.
in fact, the more abnormal the better.
No buddy it’s more of the opposite where everyone is trying to be into every other persons business and it’s ruining communication
how are we supposed to maintain any shared sense of reality?
There is none in the first place. My reality is working 35 hours, having healthcare and queer sex. Chances are you live in a totally different world anyway, no need to share a sense of same reality.
I see more of an issue with people whipping out their phones and filming people, often, who are disabled, overweight or unusual and not minding their own business. In fact, it seems like people mind their own business less and less as time goes on.
Mind your business and ignore them. Giving them attention only encourages this behavior because it models the aspect of a car wreck, and rewards their dopamine stimuli leading to more extreme content. Indifference, and lack of engagement kills it because now their views starts to go down, and they are no longer well rewarded for said actions. Not that much will change due to the fact that as much as people claim they hate this behavior. They can’t stop feeding it with engagement
I almost agreed with you but your examples are… shit. Absolutely shit. You have a problem with people who ignore someone barking in public? Seriously? What about the people who know someone’s SO is cheating on them and don’t bother to tell because it ‘isn’t their business’? What about people who know someone’s being mistreated at home and don’t bother to intervene, they just mind their own business? What about people who see a person that needs help and they ignore them, bystander effect or whatever else reason there is, people who ‘mind their business’ because another person’s business requires effort?
Your examples are absolutely shit OP, and I’m upvoting you because you’ve turned a reasnable take into utter crap. Barking people. Seriously.
Seriously think your examples are prime “mind your own business” situations. I’m tired of people fussing about anyone or anything they think is weird.
If they are assholes, violent, rude, creepy or hurting themselves or others then it is appropriate to react. Depending on the situation. Called out, reported or mh help.
you are advocating for physical/direct shaming intervention.
plenty of people judge things silently & no one cares. you can judge & still “mind your own business”. “Mind your own business” means, don’t get *involved* – not don’t judge.
People on leashes in random places are an incredibly low tier concern re: shaming right now.
Shame where shame is due: shame ICE if you see them sbd are white/Born citizen enough to get away with that shit. Shame white supremacists. Ignore harmless weirdos.
Why do we still say “common sense”? Is it still common?
Clearly you, don’t get out much. The amount of people that force their way into other people’s business is out of hand.
OP, Reddit is extremely liberal and is straw manning you. You are 100% correct and I feel you. This is only getting worse too.
I have literally never encountered anyone wearing a leash and barking at strangers and if I had, I’d be quite certain they aren’t the ones destroying society.
Is this what you think minding your own business looks like? Like today’s social climate? Dude nobody has minded their fucking business since 2005 and its entirely what destroyed societies common sense in the first place
Have you actually seen a person in public on all fours barking like a dog????
I don’t think all the weird behavior is particularly “new”, but we are only just recently able to broadcast it everywhere. People have always had weird interests/hobbies/activities, but as a whole, society didn’t know about it, and the world kept turning.
HOWEVER, the mentality has lead to fewer people speaking up against actual issues because “it’s not affecting me”…until it does, and then it’s too late (gestures at everything right now)
“I’m not shaming people or telling them what to do, all I’m saying is we should shame people and tell them what to do”
Pretending it’s normal and minding his own business are two different things.
From a mathematical point of view, I don’t consider the following to be normal :
But I could not care less. As long as I don’t pay for it, and nobody is hurt (except yourself, which is fine), then you can do the most insane stuff.
It’s none of my business.
Brother discovers alt right and conservative talking points. Thinks it’s unpopular