I had a quietly annoying conversation this week that forced me to acknowledge we aren’t nearly as progressive as we think we are…..
I was recently nominated for a local US military award re: job performance that moves its way up through the group (whatevs: happy to be nominated AND employed in today’s climate). Some colleagues harmlessly pointed out the marital status discrepancy (Mrs. vs Ms.), which I hadn’t bothered to correct…ever.
The male military managers who had nominated me were flat out…confused. These were no young AF men but…: “What do you mean, that’s not your husband’s name???” They seriously had thought MY wildly unique name was my husband’s!!! They started going on about family…Then, they STFU when I broke down MY family and how OUR name deserves the honor that existed long before THAT Mister had even proven himself. (The Mister could not give 2 f%cks.)
And they WERE kind of getting it, until I asked, “Don’t you know the difference between Miss, Ms. and Mrs?”
No, they did not. These men with daughters, no, they did not know why there this distinction but seemed perfectly uncomfortable that my “title” had nothing to do with my man.
I do NOT feel wrong in any way for making them uncomfortable in how they “assume” the women are addressed but what do you think would give people pause rather than assuming?