What happened: My mom (76) had a heart attack scare yesterday. Severe pain in her chest while at home so she called 911. The ER said not a heart attack, but likely a lung infection. Since she can’t walk on her own, I spent my evening doing the 1 AM ferry shuffle from Seattle to her home. Got home around 1:45 AM. I’m wiped, but relieved she’s okay.
How I’m holding it: This is the last of my parents. I’ve been a loner for years, and the thought of losing her is hitting me harder than anything else. I’m proud of the things I have accomplished and the amazing creative circles I’ve dipped into, but right now I feel more isolated than ever.
Why I’m sharing: I’m not asking for advice or a pep talk, just a space to say that I’m scared.
If you’ve got a dumb meme, a song rec, show or movies or whatever, I’ll take whatever I can get. Thanks for reading this far. Take care everyone.
Comments
I was at the side of my father when he died decades ago, and my grandparents. My mother, God bless her, is still doing great at 93 – but her day will come sooner rather than later.
I hope this doesn’t come off as minimizing what this process is like, but I learned a lot about death and the responsibility of being a caregiver through the many dogs I have had to say goodbye to in my life.
It is my job to make them as secure and comfortable as possible and honor their selfless contribution to my life. The end is the time when I have to step up and give as selflessly to them.
And I have to come to terms with the fact that I only have them for a season. The goodbye is part of the deal. I have to work through that if I am going to be able to be there for them all the way to the finish. And then carry on their work and memory beyond that.
Finally, just a practical matter, make sure there is a will supervised by an estate attorney. That person will be your first call when she passes. Also have a living will and power of attorney ready if you have to make decisions for her. Make sure all involved family are familiar with the will and your mother’s intentions. It is much easier to have discussions while your mother is alive than have people be surprised after her death.
why did the frog take the bus to work?
his car got toad.
i searched through my photos for a decent meme to make you smile but i couldn’t find anything good enough. i hope that corny frog joke makes you giggle for a moment. i’ve been in your position too, so just know there’s a complete stranger out here who’s felt the things you’re feeling now, i hope that makes you feel a little less alone.