There are moments in parenting when you have to decide if you’re going to teach your child to be “nice” or if you’re going to teach them how to survive in a cruel, cruel world. For one mom on Reddit, facing down a bully at summer camp, the choice was clear: sometimes, you’ve got to hit below the belt. And it was glorious.
Our narrator is a 43-year-old mom to Becky, a 10-year-old superhero who has been battling leukemia since she was five. She’s “nearing remission, we hope!!” as a side effect of chemo, she lost her hair. She wears a baseball hat or beanie, and her school has always been supportive. No bullying. Until now.
Becky wanted to go to a YMCA day camp. Her doctor cleared her, so mom signed her up. And that’s where the villains entered the scene: a clique of girls, led by “Jenny,” who were “straight up vile.”
The first day, Becky came home crying. Jenny, the queen bee, had given her the nickname “Lex” (as in Lex Luthor, because it was comic book week) and wouldn’t stop, even when Becky asked her to. Mom, being a fierce protector, went to the counselor, a “feckless teenage dude” who promised he’d talk to Jenny.
They didn’t stop. Of course not. It “just got worse.” They started a charming game of “steal Becky’s hat and keep it away from her.” The counselor? He “did f**k all to stop this.”
This is the point where most parents would pull their kid out of camp. But Becky, bless her brave little heart, wanted to stay. She was making other friends who were sticking up for her. So mom decided to arm her with a secret weapon. An “adult” weapon.
Mom knew something about Jenny. Jenny’s parents were going through a “nasty public divorce.” So, mom gave her 10-year-old daughter the ultimate comeback: “The next time Jenny harasses her, she should tell Jenny that she is the reason for her parents’ divorce and that they both want to get rid of her.”
Mom admits this is “probably not true,” but “certainly a devastating insult to a tween.” And you know what? Bless her. Bless this mom for understanding that sometimes, the only way to fight fire is with a flamethrower.
And it worked! Oh, did it work. “Becky hit Jenny with divorce slam yesterday, and it was super effective!” Our narrator picked up her daughter, and Becky was “beaming.” Jenny, on the other hand, was “inconsolable.” And the useless counselor? He “looked like he had just come back from ‘Nam.”
The counselor, finally doing something, asked for a sit-down. He told the mom she “shouldn’t encourage my daughter to insult other campers.” He then pulled out the classic, “Jenny was just stressed from the divorce and was misplacing her anger on Becky.”
I am screaming. “Misplacing her anger?” So, it’s okay for Jenny to bully a child who has cancer, but it’s not okay for the cancer survivor to defend herself with a well-aimed verbal jab? The entitlement!
And Mom’s response to the counselor? Perfection. “I said that my daughter is not going to be a punching bag and I will continue to teach and encourage her to hit back.”
So, is she the ahole? Absolutely not. She is a hero. She is a mother protecting her child from cruelty, and she equipped her with the tools to defend herself. This isn’t about teaching meanness; it’s about teaching survival.
NTA. Turn about is fair play in this case for sure. If “Jenny” is able to hit low enough to hurt a child that has battled cancer for five years of her life, than she should expect the same kind of ugly in return.
I completely understand the need to protect your daughter and the desire to do anything in your power to stop the bullying, but arming your 10 year old with information regarding her bully’s parent’s divorce, and stating that they probably want to get rid of the child, seems a bit cruel and unnecessary. Rather than encouraging your child to rise above bullying, you encouraged her to lower herself to the level of her tormentor, which says more about you than it does your daughter. This was a teachable moment and you missed it big time. This is a tough call, but I have to say YTA.
Doesn’t seem like you have a better idea, huh?