This is not a question about your child/children of how they behave/health ect, but you in general. Like, did you think your body would change as much or your mental health would be as fatigued, ect….
This is not a question about your child/children of how they behave/health ect, but you in general. Like, did you think your body would change as much or your mental health would be as fatigued, ect….
Comments
100%, zero regrets having my kids. If I could go back, I wouldn’t change a single thing. Had my first at 21, second at 27 and pregnant with our third now at 33. It’s a love like no other. Helps having a good partner who you love to raise them with though.
Yes. I’m tired, but it’s a delirious and happy tired. My body changed, but I don’t care. It would have with age, anyway. My flat tummy didnt bring me as much joy in the years of having it as my littles do in a day.
I mean, I did it twice more after the first time, so yes.
Nope. 100 percent a no. I should have been sterilized against my will.
Yes. I wouldn’t trade my son for anything. He’s the best thing that ever happened to me.
100% worth it… and although I haven’t done any major surgery or anything there are a lot of options if you dislike your body afterwards. It does take time but I got more or less back to my normal within a year of pregnancy each time (x3). Also, even if you do t have kids your body is going to change and age as you get older … things will fall and sag if you’re lucky enough to grow old!
Yes. I had horrible pregnancies that ended with c-sections twice. I would do it a third time but my doctor couldn’t promise me I would survive. My girls are both adults now and I wish I had done some things differently but they were completely worth it. My body has scars and my bipolar took a while to adjust the medication after birth but I raised two fine ladies.
Good question. Yes. I feel like my three amazing kids bring such good value to our society that it’s worth the sacrifices I made to have & raise them. They’re good humans, good partners, good siblings and are hopeful about their futures. We all need their young enthusiasm and goodness. The good that comes from having these three souls in the world is much more than my non-mothered body & mind would’ve contributed.
I’m pleasantly surprised at my physical ability (3 kids from my body, 41 now). I got back into shape after 10 years off due to pregnancies/breast-feeding. Mentally I’m stronger than pre-pregnancy. Motherhood (esp during the pandemic) broke me; then I got back up and rebuilt myself because my kids are poking to me as an example. I hope my girls are even stronger than me but that means I have to give them tall, strong shoulders to stand on.
I gave birth to 3 kids. I consider my pregnancies very average in every way.
I do not consider those changes as “big” changes.
I am OK with normal changes an average human experiences in their life.
I absolutely would do the same thing. I would work less though.
Yes, I still would have had my baby. My mental health suffered a lot while pregnant due to my partner (not wanting me because I didn’t have a flat stomach, commenting on not gaining too much weight, etc.) so ladies be wise in choosing who you have a baby with!! It makes the world of difference. I only survived it all due to my loving parents and sister and best friend.
Yes. I love being mom.
Yes. Besides what others have said I grew more as a person and human. I learned my capacity to love grew enormously. I also grew more confident in my ability to tackle challenges that don’t have instructions.
My wife and I are expecting our first and the positive responses here give me comfort.
My aunt absolutely wouldn’t have had a baby if she knew.
Hell no!
Yes!
No. I have no regrets I love my daughter. But I dont want an other baby. She almost died during delivery, it was an horrible moment. And the newborn phase was horrible too. I was recovering from C-section with a baby too small to be feeded normally. I never slept more than 3 hours during almost 3 months. It was exhausting. And now I suffer from anxiety related to death. Multiple times per day I think about the fact that if I die, no one will love my daughter as much as I can.
Yes, i would still have my babies. Would just take better care of myself and cut out the dead weight many years sooner.
Heck yes!! And my child ended up being special needs and this is still my answer. Still cant pee right; chubby; c-section recovery was painful then it was numb for 7 years. Stress having a special needs child has moderated as kiddo made strides. I would do it all again—I was an older Mom and almost 50 now.
100%. I absolutely adore my son however I will not have another one.
I love my 2 boys but in my next life I’m not reproducing
Absolutely. I also had relatively easy births and recovered very quickly postpartum. The only lasting effect on my body is a little scar in my privates that occasionally tightens when the weather changes. Small price for two beautiful children.
If i could redo my life, i would have 3-5 kids in my twenties. Infertility sucks!
Yes, absolutely. My son brings so much love, joy, and humor into our lives. My body was wrecked from pregnancy & childbirth and my mind was broken from being pregnant & raising a baby during the bad years of Covid… but I would do it all over again. There are definitely moments where I want to rage-scream into my pillow because now he’s a wild and strong willed threenager, but it’s 100% worth feeling this insane type of love!
I have had it easy, relatively speaking, so my body is less changed and my mental health less impacted than I expected it to be. I have two now and want more!
Honestly, my mental health is better and my physical fitness is improved compared to before I had kids. I only wish I had them sooner!
i have a two year old and my answer is fuck yes i wouldn’t change having my baby for anything. BUT i promise you though vast majority of the ones who do regret it, regret it because of who they chose as a partner. if nothing else make sure he’s a DAMN GOOD ONE. or you’ll hate your life
Yes. And I would like to do it again (3rd time) but that is not in the cards for us
If they stop we are doomed
No. For many, many reasons. Just no.
I was well aware that it would be hard and my body would change. Even so, there were some depressing surprises. I had to throw out my entire wardrobe. Every single piece, even baggy clothes. Clothes I had had for over a decade. There were so many physical changes I’m too tired to list them all because I just got my guy into bed so now I’m going to bed lol.
But he’s perfect. He is such a sweetpea. I knew what I was getting into and I wanted all of it. And if I had to make the choice again I would still choose to be fatter, older, grayer, slower, duller, and more wrinkly just to have my smiley sweetpea.
Absolutely. I’ve had three lol. But I knew my limit and scheduled my husband’s vasectomy in the last few weeks of my third pregnancy because I was fed up with being pregnant.
It hasn’t been a walk in the park but there has been a remarkable difference for me when each baby has neared the year mark. I am so much happier when they aren’t absolutely tied to me (I breastfed through the first year with each). When they’ve made progress into eating solids, I’ve felt less restricted and suddenly it’s a pretty joyful experience. That being said I’ve had pretty damn good babies/toddlers/kids. They have their issues from time to time but no colic or major health issues. So I openly acknowledge it would be reasonable for some to feel completely different.
No but it is definitely an adjustment. Any change is. If I didn’t have kids I’d just be doing the same dumb shit. Nothing new in my life. Kids are exciting and ever evolving. Everyday is something different. I’m here for it.
My daughter and I have bonded about how motherhood totally trashed our bodies and our lives but it’s the best thing that ever happened to us
Yes I would.
Being a new mom was HARD don’t get me wrong and certainly took a toll on my body. But long COVID has been as hard, sometimes harder, and got two pretty neat humans that I like out of the whole pregnancy and childbirth deal.
Best thing I ever did was have my two kids.
I remember the evening after birth I was thinking l wouldn’t want to repeat it the next day but after a year or more it would be ok. Can’t really complain, the birth was easy and reasonably fast. Next one was even easier. Both with stimulation but without epidural. I did one thing wrong, with better coaching could be avoided: cracked my back while pushing. That l can still feel decades later. I do have other health problems too but they are not caused by birth.
My body did not change much. It returned to prepartum within 2-3 months. Absolutely glad I had my baby.
Yes but I would have liked to have been older. But hey, I’ve learnt a lot, been through a lot, even though its been the hardest times in my life, my kids are always there to give me love, cuddles, strength & motivation to be better. We are soo lucky to have this unconditional love from these little perfect human beings.
Yes I would in a heartbeat. I love my babies and I could not imagine my life without them now.
Absolutely.
Yes, it honestly helped me become more body confident. I knew my body would change, but I didn’t anticipate liking the changes so much. I went from having the body of a teenage boy to the body of a woman and it feels great!
Yes.
I’m old now. No. I would not have had children. It’s not just 18 to 20 years of being a parent, and things don’t always go as planned.
Always. My girls bring out the best in me everyday.
1000000%. Wouldn’t trade it for anything & planning on having another.
Yes. I’m so much happier and content than before. It was so worth it even with how miserable I felt while pregnant. I am angry about my gestational hypertension not going away after the second baby. But I’d rather have to deal with high blood pressure for the rest of my life than not have her. Plus there’s a fair chance it would have happened to me anyway.
My mother did it 4 times so evidently yes.
Nope.
Absolutely not
10000% yes. I actually didn’t even want kids in my 20’s and then got pregnant with my daughter at 30. She is without question the light of my life. I used to be a certified dog mom and I remember not being able to comprehend how anyone could love something as much as I loved my dogs. I still love my dogs the same amount, but the love I have for my daughter far exceeds anything I ever could have dreamed I could have been capable of. Her happiness makes me happy, her joy brings me joy. I am a SAHM and the days are so long (some days even longer than others) but every night I go to bed excited to spend another day watching her learn and grow. Seeing her interact with the world fulfills me in a way I never had before.
Yes, 100%. The first few were a haze. Flash forward and these kids are so much fun, my little besties and I can’t imagine life without them.
Yes. But I would have worked on muscle strength before getting pregnant. And I would have started saving for a breast reduction way earlier.
I couldn’t care less about how my body has changed.
It’s been extremely difficult to see my children struggle with their own mental health and hardships.
My main worries are what kind of future my Gen Z kids will have. We are not even close to doing enough to mitigate the climate crisis we’re in. And my country is running full speed toward dictatorship and fascism. So no, I’m not at all concerned about what having a baby did to my body.
Yes, super easy pregnancy and delivery. Loved being pregnant, body snapped back very quickly. No post partum issues.
Physically it sucks but it has honestly paid for itself a million times over mentally. I have never been happier than when I come home from work and she breaks out a giant smile and wraps her little fat arms around me. It’s worth everything.
When that 70s show came out and one of the characters wanted his memories erased to end heartache of a teenage break up…his guardian angel showed him what he would be missing…showed him all his good memories and he changed his mind that episode stuck with me and i said I don’t want my memories erased….today I wish there was a pill I could take to erase all my memories the pain of my child dying is so bad it physically hurts the tears I cry is non stop all day everyday I wish I could forget and not do it I love her so very much
no
Picked a good father, so yes.
Absolutely not. You couldn’t pay me to have a kid all over again.
Absolutely
Yes I would still have – but I would handle things a lot differently.
I put way too much pressure on myself in the early weeks and months to get back to exercise, cooking meals etc.
If I could do it differently, I would have been a lot easier on myself to rest and recover, and sleep when I could, and generally just enjoy newborn life.
I would probably have done a csection rather than “try one more push” because that was awful on my parts for weeks and I still have after effects. At least with a C-section the recovery and expectations are more predictable. And the experience I had made me avoid having any more kids. I can’t say if a csection would’ve changed my mind about more kids or not, but there’s a chance it would have because I did want more kids.
I did have a pretty traumatic birth experience. Some people say having another kid was very healing for them, and some people are like me and won’t do it again. I feel like my family is complete the way it is, and if I did end up having another kid I do think things would’ve been fine. I just couldn’t and still can’t talk myself into it.
Yes, I have 4 kids. I’ve got fat, thin, fat, thin etc. my hair has gone to crap and my belly/boobs/butt do not look the same pre pregnancy, but I love my children so I’d do it all over again.
During pregnancy gallbladder collapsed, stomach paralyzed, I developed heavy anemia. I was sick 24/7. My girl is 6 months old and still wakes up every 2-3 hours, so sometimes I have trouble speaking coherently from the exhaustion. Would I do it all again? Of course! Literally in a heartbeat. She has brought music to my world. She makes me so so happy.
A million percent yes. I’m tired. I’ve gained weight. I have no freedom at all anymore and I’m anxious all the time. But the sense of joy I feel watching my daughter grow is much deeper than any happiness I ever experienced before having her.
The reality is for most people, getting older, getting wiser is realizing it’s not about how your body looks. I find more happiness in my family than I ever did looking good.
Nope. Glad young women are wising up. Procreation is hugely disadvantageous for women physically, mentally, financially, educationally, and professionally.
100%, but I wanted kids. I’ve always wanted kids. If you’re on the fence at all, then don’t do it.
Yes, but it’s not an easy yes. I did have a second 11 years after the first but I had serious reservations and almost didn’t. Like most other commentors, I love my children and don’t regret having them. But, if I could do it all over again knowing everything I know now I’m not sure I would make the same choices. I hated being pregnant, neither delivery was good but the second one was horrible, and my body has changed in ways that I’m not ok with.
I have an amazing partner who is fully dialed in as a parent but even still I ended up being the ‘default parent’ and it’s as much effort to try and prevent/fix that as it is to just be the default parent.
Heck yes.
Yes
No. I’m too selfish. And I can’t stand that there’s a piece of me out there that terrible things could happen to, and I would be left to cope with it…
Yes. I’ve had 4 children and it was worth everything; the sleepless nights, the crossing my legs when I cough or sneeze, and even the PND. Theyre worth every second of it.
Absolutely. If I knew about PPD/PPA ahead of time and could see how brutal it would be, but also how I clawed my way out of it and back into the sunlight, I would have been so much kinder, patient, and loving to myself after birthing my first. I would have taken time to enjoy post partum vs counting down the days until each stage was over so that I would feel “normal” again.
And if I knew how all encompassing motherhood would be, I would have prepped better. Watched more TV. Slept in more. Napped. Sat in silence. Really enjoyed the last few days of that.
But ultimately, yeah. Hell yeah. I’d do it again a thousand times over. The toll I paid was a drop in the bucket to what I’ve received in return.
No.
If I could have gotten the exact same children (love them to death) and had them 5 years later I would choose that.
Absolutely.
And pregnancy ruined my health. But my kids are the best things I’ve ever done. They’re in their late teens. I still need to have one more surgery bc my son should have been a c-section and destroyed my pelvic floor. So much so that my second kid tried to come 8 weeks early. They were able to keep them in until 37 weeks on the dot.
I found out a few years later that the pregnancies triggered pretty severe adrenal fatigue.
I look fine. I don’t have stretch marks. I lost all the weight. I prefer the appearance of my body now to the body I had before them.
But the insides…
Doesn’t matter. They were worth it.
No way.
Yes of course. My 3 yr old makes life tough right now but he’s still the light of my life. And my 5 month old is just a loveable squish
Yes. I absolutely adore my daughter it’s so worth it to me.
Hell yeah. The joy of my son far outweighs any “negative” I’ve had.
I would still have had her, yes. She is everything I ever wanted (went through years of pcos related infertility and had given up).
But with that being said, i will not be doing it again. Postpartum rage has me hating myself. I’m almost 5 months postpartum and getting my tubes removed in 3 days.
Yes! C-section mom & ppd. Second one was huge & I sometimes pee myself. Babies are now college age & are the light of my life. Get help for mental health & don’t feel ashamed. Parenting is very hard & struggling is part of the process.
I’m a dad but I’ve spoken very deeply about this with my wife and her answer is yes. In fact, she’s successfully persuaded me it’s time for a second.
Physically, she had a really tough pregnancy but she’s recovered now and willing to potentially endure it all again.
Mentally, the newborn phase was tough on her but she’s in a much better place than before pregnancy; some of that, of course, is down to how much she loves our son but some of it is also because of how becoming a mom made her reevaluate a lot of her friendships and cut negative people out of her life. Would she have had the same realisations if she didn’t become a mom? Perhaps but somehow I don’t think so.
Yeah my kids are cool as heck
Physically all it’s done is grow my ass and my tits 😂mentally it’s forced me to grow the fuck up. So yes, I’d still have had my babies. Maybe not have this third one though. Two is enough.
Absolutely
Love both my kids, but the pelvic instability I now suffer after my second pregnancy (youngest is 9) – if I knew it was going to happen I would have stopped at 1 kid. All the other pregnancy things like weight gain/stretch marks etc have never worried me.
No
Absolutely. Other than a slightly weekend pelvic floor my pregnancies did nothing to me physically and mentally they were my reason to keep pushing.
I’ll ask another question – do women not know what childbirth does?!
I ask this because I’m an ICU nurse who works open heart recovery – people often act shocked that they are in pain after having their chest ripped open. I just don’t get where the disconnect is and want to try to change and educate.
I asked my mom and her answer was basically, “You think I would’ve done it 4 more times if I cared?”
Yes, absolutely.
Absolutely, I bounced back after my son, my daughter messed me up though. But it’s okay, they’re so happy, and wonderful! I’d happily give my body, and mind again for both of them.
Oh, yes, I would still have my kids.
I snapped back pretty fast and was basically unscathed except for my C section scar. And the kids were really fun, actually. Now they are out and on their own, but I can’t imagine life without them.
No
If I knew then what I know now I would’ve prepared myself more for birth and complications but I’d still do it all over again. In fact I want a second one, even with my next pregnancy will likely be considered high risk because of my preeclampsia I’d still do it again. For me there is nothing better than see my daughter learn something new, for instance she’s 14 months and finally figured out that her brush is for her hair. It’s the cutest thing and it’s what keeps me going even when it’s hard.
Yes. Small sacrifices. I do regret my partner, but never them or my personal changes.
Absolutely. My baby is a month old today, and my labor was traumatic (I pushed for five and a half hours and got a fourth degree tear , which means my entire perineum from my vagina to my anus tore through, for real) and I’m still healing. I have a mom belly now with stretch marks, and I’m so exhausted every day.
But I would definitely do it again knowing what I know now (although I’m glad I didn’t know because I would’ve been terrified) because this little man is everything to me. I cannot believe how much I love him. I would die for him in a heartbeat. I will have more (if I can) but the next ones will be c sections!
Yes ♡ a million times over, I love my kiddo and I would regret if I chose not to have a child. He is the best life adventure partner ever (besides his Daddy of course) – sometimes it’s hard BUT nothing easy is ever worth it! I’m very happy to say we’re waiting on player 4 to join the game – it’s about to be siiiiiiiickkkkk!! T-minus 6 months & we are so stoked out!!
In a second!
Honestly, probably not. My kids are grown, I adore them. They were both wanted and planned for, so don’t misunderstand me. But the mental toll of helping them get through some traumatic events has left me so empty.
Yes, I’d still have my kids. But I’d ask for more help.
Yes, definitely. But a word of warning to young mothers: You’d think that your days of worrying about your kids ends when they’re 21; it does not! In fact, you’ll probably worry more because the problems are bigger. Then the grandchildren come and you’ll worry about them, too.
Yes. But I would have INSISTED my husband take some classes and read about child development first.
Somehow I was not aware of how deficient he was in knowledge about children until it was far too late. He’s done an excellent job learning, but it was miserable taking care of the baby while healing and teaching him AND trying to wrangle my hormonal rollercoaster.
My autistic son just told his toy he talks to I’m the best mom ever.
I’d destroy my body a thousand times over for him.
Yes, I would always still choose to have my sons.
not a mom or women but from what i’ve heard the ones that regret it regret who they had the baby with
Absolutely YESSS!!! Just seeing my two growing, learning, and time flying by. Waking up to those beautiful smiles and hugs in the morning. I do have back pain and other minor issues, but that can be pushed to a side and not let it ruin my happy moments until bedtime with a hot water bottle 😅.
I can’t say myself, but my mom had 4 kids with 5 years between each and after the first, the doctors told her she has a calcium deficiency or something so she shouldn’t have more, but despite the years of experience and warning from the doctor, she still decided to have more, so I’d assume her answer to this would be yes
My wife knew and still decided to have two of them.
I do know now, but if I knew then—before I had the babies—that years of sleep deprivation, sickness, hormonal fluctuations, and stress would cause me to become a totally different person with different values and priorities, I wouldn’t have done it. But that person in the past doesn’t know how beautiful my sons are and how many things I cared about before—my “career,” how well-dressed I am, the size of my nipples—now seem silly and frivolous to me. So is it worth it? A resounding “yes” but be prepared to (potentially) have your ego shattered.
Yes. Absolutely.
I worked so hard to get my boys (3 rounds of IVF among other things). And both pregnancies had their issues, including gestational diabetes with both, and I had 2 c-sections. Now I have a lovely scar and a flabby belly that hangs over it (and in the summer, I have to deal with sweat in that overhang). My feet grew half a size. And my right hip has a tendency to lock up on me if I don’t make it to my monthly chiropractor appointments. I have been tired since probably February 2020 when I got pregnant with my first. I have new anxieties, and still sometimes feel the need to check that my kids are breathing in the middle of the night.
But I get to have a little one look up at me and say “Mommy, you’re the best. I love you.”… what can beat that?…Maybe seeing my husband doing his best to break the cycle of generational trauma and be the kind of dad he wished his dad had been.
Yes, children are hard. Yes, there are lots of extra responsibilities, and expenses. But also yes, I would do it again to have my two boys.
Yes I would do it again and lately have been thinking about maybe having 1 more but my children are 12 & 13 so I’m probably done.
I get to experience life through them and enjoy activities i stopped doing because i was “too old to be doing that dumb shit”. None of it was dumb it’s just people assume you grow up the minute you’re 15 and should stop having fun and just work non stop along with school (which I was doing but just ended up burning out fast).
I get to teach them about my interests and have fun in ways I forgot about because I was forced to grow up young (bet you can tell by me saying I had a job at 15) and I’m letting them enjoy their childhood. I’m also shaping the next generation of people who I want to be compassionate and supportive to those they love as well.
Yes. My son is an absolute joy and I love him with all my heart.
In my next life, I am not having kids and not getting married. It was mentally challenging.
Yes
No
Yes.
Yes. I was so worried about how my body would change and how I would change as a person. I can honestly say I do not care at all that my body has changed. It ended up being so inconsequential. I’ve struggled with body image my whole life, but I feel more confident now (1 year postpartum), than I ever have. I am proud of the body that was able to carry and birth my son.
I was someone who really debated whether I should have a kid at all… husband and I were married 7 years before our son was born. We really took a long time and thought about it before getting pregnant. I love my son more than life itself. No regrets at all. 10/10 would recommend.
This is not to say it’s not hard-it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But it’s also the best thing I’ve ever done? It’s crazy.
Yes. 100% yes.
I was injured during delivery and we both nearly didn’t survive the process. My eyes were wide open to typical complications when I decided to keep a surprise with my husband of 14 years. What I didn’t know was that I was growing a very rare cancer or that my kiddo would hate my breast milk and also be too sensitive to formula to tolerate it. I had 2 ridiculously difficult years, and I have felt pain from delivery every day for the last decade. Parenting through the pandemic has been stupid hard, and my country has been taken over by fascists and bigots. I adore my child with my entire being, but their peer base is garbage and if I had it to do again, no I wouldn’t do it.
Honestly its hard to tell. Just a few days ago my three year old was giving me a hard time and – as an avid cyclist – I saw all those people riding around on a pristine spring day. So again I was having some sorts of regrets and would have loved to just be on the bike instead of having to care for him.
Wrote to my best friend how I felt and he simply wrote back: but riding bikes every day is boring too.
It didnt make the go away that day but it made it easier to cope.
So I love my kid unconditionally and there are many moments I wouldnt want to give him back. But I have never found this time and space transcending fullfilmemt being a dad and that makes it extra hard sometimes.
Absolutely. Having a baby almost killed me, though. First was a stillborn. The second was alive and well and it made it all worth it! After years of fertility treatments and complications, I’m left with pretty severe endocrine issues. Insulin resistance, Graves, TED… Just to name a few. I am doing everything I can to be well and be here for my child as long as I can. But, yeah. I’d do it in a heartbeat all over just to have my perfect boy.
Heck Nawl🍻
Absolutely! Yes.
I went through preeclampsia, emergency c-section at 34 weeks, an NICU stay and postpartum depression- and the answer is still Hell yeah. I got the best, smartest, sassiest and most handsome little man on earth.
Recently had his baby sister. Another c-section, elective this time. (No NICU or PPD, luckily). Another big Yes.
So, yes.
Yes
Yes, I would have made different choices around career and lifestyle to do it sooner… but yes.
No, I wouldn’t.
It didn’t do much negative for me except the lack of sleep has aged my face 😂 and my pelvic floor is a bit more weak but it already wasn’t great so needed pelvic floor therapy. Other than that my hair looks great and I feel exactly the same, I just have a new most important person in my life 🤷♀️ so in my case, sure. Not much of a difference here.
Yes. Best trade deal in the history of trade deals. Time is a bitch to everyone’s bodies. Life is mentally difficult no matter what. Sleep deprivation? I mean, yeah, there is sleep deprivation, but there was also sleep deprivation when I was over-achieving in high school, attending college, and socializing with friends late into the night making awesome memories, and no one ever asks me, “BuT wHaT aBoUt ThE sLeEp DePrIvAtIoN?” about those things.
I would definitely still do it. Luckily, I had two easy pregnancies.
Absolutely! 2 teenagers and 2 little kids and I am so blessed by them, even the tough moments. Would’ve left their dad the second I knew they were all created, though.
I have pretty severe depression and my son is the only person I don’t have to try around. He makes me genuinely happy, and makes my heart feel so full and content. He’s tiring and sometimes can be difficult but truly, nothing in my life has come close to the fulfillment I feel watching him learn and play and grow. Haven’t regretted it for one second, even as I struggled with bonding at the beginning.
No.
My body was destroyed & I suck at parenting. I love my daughter with everything I have & I try my best but shes an awesome kid and deserves better than me.
Because my daughter is an adult now, and I’ve gotten to know and love her, yes. I would have her over again despite the damage pregnancy and birth did to my body.
However, I chose not to have another. I had a tubal ligation at 23. There was no way I wanted to risk my body being further ruined.
The first time in my life that I knew I was in the right place at the right time, was the second I became a mom. Becoming a mom made me realise who I am.
It is the single best, most right, taxing, beautiful, frustrating, fulfilling, time-consuming thing I have ever done and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Yes, it changed my body and I am still working on accepting my new body (not that I ever accepted my “old” body lol), but for years I wished and fought for this. And having grown actual life before going through labour gave me a new appreciation, love and respect for this beautiful, “flawed” body.
Yes, it takes away your freedom and messes with your sleep during the first years especially.
Yes, it has a huge impact on women’s carreers and work lives.
Yes, it is traumatic to give birth. Even when it’s by the book.
And yes, it does take a toll on your body to be pregnant. It took me roughly two years to recover physically.
And yet, here I am, 6 months pregnant, thrilled to do it all again.
Being a parent taught me a tonne about principles, patience, and is sometimes a look into an unwelcome mirror (hello stubborn temperamental ass). But it’s also the thing that gives me the most joy and appreciation for life.
I’ve always said it was an unfair responsibility to put on a child to say they’re the reason for your existence…. but becoming a mom meant coming home to who I was always supposed to be.
Nope.
Well yeah lol my kids are my life. We are an effective unit. They are my entertainment.
My older one, when I had covid, she slept on the floor by my bed so she could wake up every hour to put ice chips in my mouth to get cold fluids in me. She spooned applesauce in my mouth when I couldn’t do it. She did so much more, all to save me when everyone else just waited for me to die. So yeah knowing the strong responsible compassionate woman who calls me her best friend 35 years later, I would do it all over again with double the pain and triple the hours in labor.
And my son, who has taught me patience and held my hand when I have sensory meltdowns, whose calm voice brings me down to earth again, who draws me these amazing pictures and through it all he’s had so many health issues he’s had to suffer and overcome, and he’s still so gentle and patient and kind to everyone he meets…. yeah it’s been a really hard 20 years at times but it wasn’t his fault, he couldn’t help being sick. I would do it all without the epidural, in a dirty ditch with a monkey for a midwife. 🙂
I’m so lucky. I don’t know how I did it. I was always the fuck-up, but these kids are my pride and joy.
Absolutely, yes.
I would yes. She lights up not just my world, but other peoples too. I genuinely see her making the world a better place just with her infectious enthusiasm and her big bright smiles. She’s only 11 months old and she makes strangers smile every day. The world needs more people like her
On a personal level, parenting can be tiring and stressful. But I was 41 when I had her, I was already tried and stressed. So it may as well be for a better reason
100% yes
100%. My only regret is not having more.
(despite having ashermans syndrome, 3 surgeries, a very problematic second pregnancy, 11 weeks in the NICU). I’m still a bit jealous of folks with big families….
But everyone’s different.
I wouldn’t of had 4 & would have waited to have them at an older age. Don’t get me wrong I love them all
Nope. I love my kids more than anything and I would never give THEM up, but if I knew generally how life changing being a mum would be I would have stayed childless. My kids aren’t even difficult kids, it’s just the lack of freedom to do what you want when you want, always being on call, having to make 3 meals a day for multiple people every day for years on end.
That said, I was pretty unmotivated and purposeless before having my eldest and having him is what motivated me to knuckle down and get a decent job, stop drinking and doing drugs etc. So if I never had kids I probably wouldn’t be in a very good place right now.
Absolutely! The beginning was absolutely hard, and I was definitely exhausted and most likely had some ppd, but we eventually got things figured out. I don’t mind the changes to my body (aside from the damage to my bladder she loved to bounce on), and my child is far from the cause of my mental health issues.
She is worth every single bit of it! She’s the greatest thing I’ve ever done!
Yes the hardship is the social pressures and lack of meaningful consistent support along with the discrimination and misogyny not the baby.
I had twins and I’ll do it all over again in a heartbeat.
They are my why ❤️
I asked my wife and she says “1000 times yes”.
1000 percent
Well this is my fourth child. So I guess so. But you tend to forget the strain of pregnancy when it’s all over. It’s sort of a strange how much you forget. As far as the after effects of my body? I got lucky and I bounced back super quick. Almost too quick. I’ll see how much I bounce back this time. I am much older after all. As far as during? It’s temporary and easy to forget what doesn’t stay. I’m actually proud of my hips. I had like zero hips before children. So it’s nice to have hips. My boobs always deflated it seemed. But I’m small chested anyhow and never cared too much.
I think I was lucky overall and benefited from childbirth as far as my body is concerned. It helped me become more shapely. I was always a stick before children. I got skinny again after yes, but at least I have shape now.