My best friend is having her first kiddo! Her babyshower came at a time when I was very strapped for cash, so all I got was a few books for her and baby.
Now that I’m in a better position, she’s due in August so I want to get her something to make up!
I need some good ideas to bounce around. She doesn’t know if she’s going to breast feed or do vaginal delivery – that is all going to be by ear.
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Gift her some Baby muslin cloths or burp cloths or whatever they are called. You need a LOAD of them because you are constantly washing them. Bonus points if you sew or embroid them yourself.
Hand cream and meals for the freezer.
Food! No kids, but I work with them. Your friend will be too tired to cook, so get gift certificates for meal delivery apps, set up a Meal Train, make things that can be frozen (lasagna, casseroles, etc.)
CPR class
I’m CF so not speaking from experience but when I was looking for a gift my friend who is a midwife (with two kids) suggested one of those wraps you use to strap the baby to your chest. Think it’s called a baby sling. She says they are absolutely invaluable.
Honestly, the number one thing for me was I wish someone had come clean my house
Blankets, books, food. Maybe a giant-ass water bottle if she doesn’t have 60 of them already. I’m currently nursing and just have water bottles everywhere because baby brain means I forget everything all the time and nursing is THIRSTY work.
Things that helped that people bought us:
Things that would have been nice:
Meals she can eat with one hand. Snacks, especially if she’s planning on breastfeeding. Gift cards to meal delivery services. My mom got me a maid service for 6 weeks and that was a game changer.
Food! I had everything else I needed, but having some frozen meals to pull out in a pinch was so helpful.
I got a nice set from the foxy kind from a friend and I wore it allll the time pregnant and now wear it postpartum. So nice to have because I am struggling to find breastfeeding friendly outfits and things I feel comfortable in
I have a newborn now, and I would have appreciated tylenol and motrin bottles since you go through so much during the first few weeks. My sister also got me cloth breast pads with my first kid that I’m still using six years later. If they’re breastfeeding, they could be useful.
Food, either gift cards for prepared food or things you’ve cooked (homemade frozen breakfast burritos and oat chocolate bars were my lifesavers when breastfeeding). Cute comfy clothes for her, like a lounge set in a nice soft material. Or a pretty water bottle she can pop open with one hand.
If you want to get something for the baby as well, I loved pajamas with built in mittens.. and if you want to go the extra mile, launder the clothes (with baby safe detergent) before giving them to her. My first was born much earlier than expected and everyone had gifted me 3 months and up clothes, while my baby was in newborn sizes for a whiiile. My sister vame to the hospital with a pile of freshly washed and ready to wear nb pajamas and I’ve never been more thankful.
Call her on Sunday, tell her you’re bringing a home cooked meal. Ask which day works for her and what time. Walk in, admire the baby. Drop the food and leave.
Repeat as often as you want to be remembered as the ‘most legendary friend on earth’.
If you’re local, wait a week or so then offer to come over and do some tidying – a friend came over and changed my sheets, unloaded the dishwasher, and did some general tidying while I napped with baby and took a shower, and I still remember how wonderful it was to get into clean sheets and walk into a clean kitchen when I didn’t have it in me to do any of it.
The best postpartum gift I got was someone else looking after my kids so I could have an ounce of me-time. Maybe make her a coupon book of free baby sitting time and a post natal massage, or any other spa friendly things.
In this new age of food delivery apps, I give gift cards to food delivery services.
Snack foods and food gift cards.
Also, stool softeners. Have her start a few weeks before her due date. Total game changer. They give you some in the hospital but I had such a better recovery due to taking those ahead of time. Trust me, you want nothing hard down there after baby regardless of v delivery or c-section.
Gift cards for take out/delivery we’re the best
But anything that takes something off her plate- if you can, offer to come over when she’s ready so she can take a shower by herself, lol. Or do the dishes or laundry. Bring something to eat, and something she can eat or freeze for later.
Those first few weeks/months are tough, there’s just so much to do and you have to figure out your new routines. Things to ease the burden are so great!
I had 4 BIG babies with typical soreness to follow. Now that I have an Bidet, all I can think of is how wonderful it would have been when I had my kids!
A snack box!!!
Your time! Mom will need adult conversation that doesnt revolve around baby. If you are okay with babies, watch baby so mom can shower or nap in peace.
One handed food, as others have noted. Frozen muffins, cut up fruit, breakfast burittos, cheese cubes, crackers, or gift certificates for food delivery. Yummy bottled drinks. A big stanley type cup with a straw. Books on tape.
I hot a care package that I’ve since reciprocated for others
Something useful for baby (i tend to ask if there is anything they need.
something fun for baby
bath salts for muscle relaxing
chocolate biscuits/cookies
some form of cereal/protein bar, depends on what they like – quick food but with something to keep them going
gift for misc family members – kids, dog, whatever. Universally so far people have been delighted that everyone got something, it can be small
Anything that saves her time. Even if a new mom has a long maternity leave, it’s still rough if her partner doesn’t also have at least a few months leave and/or they have no reliable local family support. Don’t give new mothers any kind of project. Nothing that needs to be assembled (unless you assemble it), or requires her to go to a specific in-person venue she doesn’t already go to, or that requires her to learn a new piece of technology or make a detailed plan. She already has more than enough of that. Give her care and give her time. Anything that makes her life a little easier, even if just for an hour or two.
A friend brought me a gift basket ONLY FOR ME and it definitely made me feel seen. It had a Stanley cup, snacks (healthy, tasty, could eat with one hand, and not crumbly), a 6-pack of my favorite beer, and a few postpartum things. It was so sweet.
I mostly wanted snacks. So many snacks. A fancy snack basket for every room, for when she’s stuck under the baby. And way more muslin swaddle cloths than she thinks she needs.
Meal train and food/ grab and go snacks. Had twins and it was the best and so helpful.
gift cards for food, sb to keep me company while that somebody cooks/cleans my house (aka my best friend lol). sb to get groceries. lil healthy snackies and actually – non baby related stuff like a voucher for a massage (while my best friend watches baby), datenight,…. also a babywrap and a consultation. helped A TON.
Honestly, the BEST thing was meals. And, even better were meals with disposable dishes! I had a friend come over and just fold laundry one day and we talked while I just nursed the baby.
Echoing food. I also would have loved for someone to watch the baby for like an hour, so I could sleep/shower. Definitely ask when a good time to do that would be though.
Stuff from the registry. My mom would just buy stuff and give it to us. I then had to return it and get the stuff that would work better in our house. That would of been the best gift for me.
No joke, ear plugs. They can be cheap foam or fancy Bluetooth noise cancelling ear buds. Preferably something she can sleep wearing. When it was 3am, I hadn’t slept more than a couple hours in a row in weeks, my baby was screaming on the changing table, my last nerve was an overstimulated frayed pile of ash, ear plugs saved me. I could still hear my baby, but cutting the decibels in half allowed me to be a better mom.
A robe with pockets sewn on the front (not the kind of pockets that are hidden in the side seam)
An abdominal binder. I had a c-section and I felt like my guts were falling out. The binder they gave me at the hospital was huge and didn’t work right but I had been gifted one and REALLY appreciated it
Do you know if she has a doula? My friend and I paid for extra postpartum hours with our bestie’s doula. She offered breastfeeding support, childcare assistance, even night nannying. Even if she doesn’t already have a doula, you can see if she might want a postpartum one. (This usually costs a few hundred dollars.)
Thermal coffee mug!! This was hands down the best gift I got. My coffee would always go cold because I was so busy with the baby but that mug kept my coffee warm and can be opened and closed with one hand!
Diapers in all kinds of sizes. Though, unless the baby is a preemie stay clear of newborn diapers. Babies do not need them for very long, and from my experience the hospital gives you more than enough of that size. Get some ones, maybe 2s for the future. Maybe some of Mom’s favorite treats and bath products for a comforting relax time when she needs it most.
Gift cards for delivery food like pizza etc.
I got two gifts after my baby was born and it still makes me tear up. One was from my husbands cousins wife, it was fuzzy socks, a mini lotion and silver nipple covers to help when breastfeeding. The other was a pot pie from a high end bakery from my MILs friend.
I think anything that shows that you care about a person is lovely. I was hospitalized for a while and my baby was in the nicu for longer so I think people just sort of went on with their lives which is fine. But those two that thought of me and went out of their way, I still hold so dearly to my heart.
I got a lot of gifts for my baby though which was sweet. People bought me premie outfits which i needed desperately and premie hats which she had to wear 24/7. The only food i got was the pot pie and i was so exhausted and so thankful. I would go with food for mom.
Bug ol’ box of shelf stable snacks. If she’s planning on breastfeeding, she will need midnight snacks! I liked various nutty bars or the ones made to boost lactation.
Edit to add: a really nice huge water bottle with a straw.
Portable bidet for bag. Mommy bum wipes. Cooling gel pad. And whole cabbage if breastfeeding.
The day I came home from the hospital, a friend dropped off a big bag of a dozen bagels from our local bakery. At the time I thought bagels seemed a bit… random? But oh my god, it was the nicest thing ever! I found mornings, in particular, to be TOUGH. Running on barely any sleep and nursing throughout the entire night, I was a carb-desperate, hangry zombie every morning. Having a bagel at the ready for me when the sun came up was such a welcome treat. She knew what she was doing!
Get something for HER. Snacks she can eat with one hand – fresh cut fruit and veg would be amazing for hot weather and that way she’s getting some vitamins and nutrients lol. It’s also pretty common to crave sweets while your milk supply is establishing so sweet treats are nice too – maybe avoid chocolate because some people say it gives babies a tummy ache.
Any kind of food that can be eaten one-handed, seriously can’t emphasize this enough.
If she’s planning to breastfeed, get her a giant water bottle she can drink from with one hand. Breastfeeding makes you unbelievably thirsty!
A nice lightweight robe or a cute matching lounge set so she can feel kind of put together at home.
A nice hand cream, her hands will be sooo dry from washing them all the time plus if she’s pumping washing the pump and bottle parts!
If she’s planning to breastfeed, buy her a pack of the Medela hydrogel nipple patches. Tell her to put them in the fridge. Trust me on this one.
Maybe some postpartum recovery stuff if she doesn’t have it yet: perineal ice packs, perineal foam, disposable underwear, Tucks pads, boob ice packs.
I don’t have kids but my general take at this stage would be gifts for mom.
Tucks Pads (witch hazel)
Lanolin cream (for nipples if breastfeeding).
Bra pads
Epsom salts and a sitz bath (or a bidet if you’re handy)
Tylenol
Ibuprofen
Someone mentioned a water bottle or thermal mug
Zinc oxide cream (or whatever brand ppl use it’s good for diaper rash but also heat rash and moms sore bum).
Face masks (might be a bit delayed for use but it shows you’re thinking of them).
A lot of replies are saying free /easy meals or cleaning services and I like this idea too. Could probably get a cleaning service coupon or gift card.
Anything she didn’t get that she wanted at the baby shower is also a good idea.
If she had a registry before the shower, check the link. My friend was still filling in the gaps after the shower right before the baby was born, and she was marking off what she purchased on the registry because people who didn’t go to her shower were asking what she needed.
A lot of people want to guess at what to get, but it’s so hard adjusting to the first few months and stuff is EVERYWHERE, so adding to that load can cause more stress than you’d think. The registry will have both the necessities and the nice-to-haves.
I don’t have kids, but my husband does. His go-to new parent gift is a headlamp with a red filter. It sounds weird, but he used it for midnight feedings and diaper changes. He could see without turning on the regular light and get the kiddo back to sleep easier.
If you go this route, definitely include a note explaining yourself. 😁
Someone made me a bunch of yogurt and fruit mason jars with room to add granola (that they also brought) on top. It was honestly the best gift ever. Such an easy and filling snack.
Not so much a tangible gift, but it meant the world to me. A card with a note from a friend describing her experience with postpartum depression, how she worked hard to hide it (I had no idea), how she thought she was just supposed to be happy and she thought she was a failure. How she didn’t ask for help because she was afraid. And assuring me that if I felt even a little down, she would be there for me. I’m tearing up about it even now and my “baby” is seventeen.
My grandmother sent me a 0-3 month baby bouncer. It’s a little carrier that will bounce a bit when the baby kicks out their legs or if you gently rock it. Easy to pick up and move around with and very stable. It was really my most used and appreciated baby item (all 3 of my kiddos and also passed on to my younger sister when she had her children).