This Husband Went on a Month-long Vacation While His Wife Battled Cancer, Then Mocked Her Incontinence to His Friends, and the Internet is Rage-vomiting

We all know the vows. In sickness and in health. To love and to cherish. Most people take those words seriously, but apparently, for one man on Reddit, those vows come with a hidden clause that says “only if you stay fun, organized, and smell like roses 24/7.” This story is a masterclass in selfishness that will make you want to hug your dog and block every man within a fifty-mile radius.

The Original Poster (OP) and his wife were a high-achieving power couple. She was a magazine editor in New York; he is an environmental consultant. Life was perfect until late 2022 when she was diagnosed with Stage 3 esophageal cancer. As anyone with a heart knows, cancer destroys you physically and mentally. She had surgery, couldn’t work, and her personality changed from “confident and fun” to fearful. Instead of stepping up, the OP seems annoyed that she isn’t the easy-breezy wife she used to be. He is actually complaining that she cries when he misses trains and leaves her alone.

But the physical toll is where the OP really loses the plot. His wife now suffers from incontinence, meaning she has accidents involving urine and feces. She wears adult diapers, but obviously, it is a messy, undignified, and tragic side effect of a terrible disease. The OP, however, focuses entirely on how hard this smells for him.

Here is where it gets truly dark. The OP admits he has been away for work and “vacationing with friends” for the last two months. Two. Months. While his wife is at home fighting cancer with only a part-time caregiver. He popped home long enough to witness an accident where she soiled the bed—something she clearly couldn’t help—and instead of helping her with compassion, he yelled at her. He shamed her for a bodily function she cannot control.

After leaving on “bad terms,” did he stay to fix things? No. He jetted off again. Not to a war zone or a crisis center, but to Rome, Greece, and Morocco with a group of guy friends. Then he headed to the Hamptons. He is living his best Eat, Pray, Love life while his wife is sitting in a soiled diaper wondering why her husband hates her.

While in the Hamptons, fueled by alcohol and entitlement, he decided to “vent” to his friends. He complained about how hard it is to be s*xually attracted to someone who is incontinent. He told the story of the accident in graphic detail, mocking the woman he swore to protect. He turned her humiliation into party banter.

It gets worse. A friend’s fiancée recorded him and posted it online, making a vile joke comparing his sick wife to Amber Heard because of the feces. The wife saw it. The kids saw it. The internet saw it.

The OP’s defense? He claims he was “suffering from carrying the entire burden of our family.” Sir, you have been in Mykonos. The only thing you are carrying is a mojito and the audacity. He isn’t sorry he said it; he is sorry he got caught. He blames the person who posted the video for the damage, not his own mouth.

So, is he the ahole? There isn’t a word strong enough in the English language. He abandoned his dying wife to party, shamed her for her illness, and then played the victim when his cruelty went viral. His kids are ostracizing him because they have eyes and ears. YTA, and I hope his wife finds a divorce lawyer who is as ruthless as his vacation schedule.