Every year, people force themselves to attend family gatherings, cook the same food, play the same games and pretend to have fun just because “that’s how we’ve always done it.” Tbh most family traditions are boring, stressful, and only exist because no one wants to be the first to say, “Can we please stop doing this?”
I’m not saying all traditions are bad. But if you hate forced gift exchanges, or can’t stand that annual family camping trip, you’re not alone. Most people I know would rather spend their holidays with friends, traveling, or just relaxing at home but they feel obligated to keep up appearances for the sake of “tradition.”
EDIT: I didn’t express myself clearly – I meant more that the enjoyment of keeping up traditions is usually felt by just a few specific people (like the parents), who more or less force others to participate, even though no one else actually enjoys it
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Today in r/unpopularopinion, OP defines what a tradition is.
I feel bad for you if that is you and your friends’ lived experience.
I totally relate! My family had this yearly Christmas trip where we’d all cram into my aunt’s house for a week. Imagine 15 people in a small house, same arguments, same forced smiles. I stopped going two years ago. It sucked the first time, guilt, conflicts and all but I can’t keep living for approval. Now I spend that week alone or with friends, and it actually feels like a holiday.
Have you considered you simply don’t like them that much. It doesn’t make sense you regularly hang out with people you don’t like.
The best part is how traditions evolve with marriage and blending of families.
It’s funny how much I agreed with this until I got a little bit older.
I have a good family so that probably skews things a bit. But, for me, it went from “boring” to “comfort” in the course of about a decade.
It’s tradition…there is comfort in tradition
Lol you just described everything my family does. It’s mom guilt all the way down.
I think it depends on your relationship with your family. My dad and I were very close, and even the traditions where I didn’t love what we were doing I was happy to just be spending time with him. My extended family didn’t really speak to us until it was time for big get togethers (weddings, reunions, funerals, Christmas party, etc) so they were awkward and I hated going because if was like talking to a bunch of virtual strangers, having aunts and uncles hugging and kissing us but they acted like we didn’t exist the rest of the year.
While I am not someone who enjoys family gatherings, I do not project that onto the rest of the world some of which love being around their families and can in fact get genuine enjoyment out of them. My world is not the world. Stop making assumptions about strangers inner feelings that you don’t know shit about.
You hate your boring family. Got it.
I agree. Only in families where people actually like each other there can be good things out of it. But in most it’s just torture for everyone, but those for some reason insist even more on it.
Naw dude I love having my yearly picnic in the cemetary
agreed. id abolish all family traditions if i could.
It’s one of those things you don’t appreciate until you get older. Wait until some family and friends you’re close to start dying; once you see how little time you actually have with those people, you’ll appreciate the little touchstones more.
ITT: angry teenager mad he has to be at the annual family reunion
You’ll miss em eventually. I’m sad my family stopped being able to do them after my grandma had a stroke. I hated them as a teen.
Lemme guess. You’re a teenager?
So the “people you know” is a big enough sample size to make the conclusion that it applies to all? 🤣🤣 what a clown
In my family, the traditions have evolved over time. I’m sorry yours haven’t.
Plenty of people do in fact enjoy regularly seeing their family. By all means stop attending your family gatherings if you don’t enjoy them though
My family gathers at my cousin’s house for just about all the big holidays. I get along with my cousin well enough, but it’s a small house and I’m simply tired of going, especially since they live a good 40 miles away and I already do enough driving during the regular work week. On weekends and holidays, I just want to get some takeout and relax at home. The only reason I DO go is because of my mother. But I usually see her once or twice a week anyway, so I’m starting to feel less guilty when I DON’T go. Hell, my mom has even said she’s sick of going there. She only goes for tradition herself (I’ve offered to take her out on holidays). She’s already said not to worry if I don’t go for Easter. I’m a college instructor so I can always use the excuse of grading and lecture prep foe when I don’t go, so that helps. Last Thanksgiving, my kid and I hit the Chinese buffet for dinner. Right down the road from where we live and we like the food. I bought pies the day before for dessert (we enjoyed those at home). It was very relaxing which a holiday SHOULD be IMO. On occasion, a holiday will be held at my brother’s house. I usually go to those since it’s closer to where I live and he has a bigger house. But he’s a cop and his wife is a nurse so they can’t always get off for the holidays. So I know how OP feels and can relate.
I agree with this, and I think this is an unpopular opinion. Upvoted
I agree with this, and I think this is an unpopular opinion. Upvoted
Maybe if you hate your family, quit projecting your shitty situation onto others
Maybe if you hate your family, quit projecting your shitty situation onto others
Not an unpopular opinion. Just a personal experience.
Not an unpopular opinion. Just a personal experience.
Not an unpopular opinion. Just a personal experience.
At 51 I love my family traditions. I still spend all the holidays with my parents and we still do most things we have done for the past 50 years. It brings us all, strengthens our bonds and reminds us of happy times past. It’s absolutely joyous.
Idk why some are so negative here, not everyone has a good or healthy family
It’s not just about enjoyment. There’s generally people within your family who are happy to see you or happy to know you’re OK. Family will tell you what you need to hear rather than what you want to hear(and vice versa I hope). Especially the younger generation I think its important that they get as much interaction with their elders as possible rather than building these anxieties about about social interaction.
People bitch and whinge about loneliness and ridicule anything that creates any kind of closer relationship with other people
If you have a family who are nice maybe spending a couple of weekends a year with them really isn’t that bad? And if you don’t like the traditions maybe try mixing them up
We have a couple of BBQs with my family a year, usually a trip to a country house, and we’ll see each other at Christmas. A lot of the older generation are people who made a huge amount of time for me and have been very generous to me throughout my life. If I can’t set aside a few weekends a year to get together with them in person then I’ve got some problems
Tradition is peer pressure from dead people.
I think people get tired of it because its the same thing over and over. Our family changes it up and people don’t get tired of it. For example, the way our family reunion works is that when the family reunion is over, someone in the family is to volunteer to host the next one and wherever that family member is from is where the reunion will be held. So we’re not always going to the same place and doing the same things.
I actually like being around my family so…
I can see your family doesn’t drink
Well, I see how you came to this opinion. Felt the same about some traditions. But most of the traditions we in the close family kept (meaning my paternal grandparents, uncle, my parents and I) were and still are nice. All of them are centered around eating with each other, so maybe that’s why.
i think its important to first understand why some traditions exist and their importance. Sometimes if we dont like a tradition it can be that we simply dont understand it and are not trying to understand it at all