Most people help to feel helpful, not to actually be helpful.

r/

Most people truly want to be helpful, but often, their actions are more about feeling helpful and the satisfaction that brings than actually being helpful.

It’s understandable that doing something, giving advice, or jumping in FEELS productive and reassuring but sometimes just listening to the person and asking what they actually want/need is far better.

Edit: u/notmenotwhenitsyou pointed out some ambiguity and focused in on what I meant:

“…instead its about being clueless as to what constitutes as helpful.”

I’ll wrap up by adding that many people will forge ahead with what they think is helpful without first considering if they understand the whole situation and what they’re doing actually constitutes as helpful

Comments

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  2. Kapoik Avatar

    That’s why I never help anyone. I don’t want people thinking i’m just doing it for clout

  3. notmenotwhenitsyou Avatar

    how do you know someone isnt listening to what another needs in order to feel helpful and not be helpful?

  4. EmeraldEmber- Avatar

    It’s actually pretty easy if you have some skills and time. I volunteer with youth and a city garden. They just tell you what to do

  5. KaldomEX777 Avatar

    Are you a psychic?

  6. Emergency_Bother9837 Avatar

    Very true, myself included. Its help from a selfish place for sure

  7. NockerJoe Avatar

    Let me guess, you just got your first copy of an Ayn Rand book?

  8. Glittery_WarlockWho Avatar

    ok and? does their intention matter? they’re helping someone.

  9. radagon_sith Avatar

    Yeah I do that for myself, but it doesn’t change the fact that the people in need of help got their issue resolved.