I went through a painful divorce a couple of years ago. Being alone in the house was depressing, so my son kindly offered to let me move in with him for a while. Eventually, I decided to sell the house and look for a condo of my own.
During the time I spent at his place while trying to sell my house, I felt comfortable being with him. We developed a stronger bond, and I truly enjoyed his company. I could tell he appreciated having me around too—especially since I’ve been taking care of the household chores. We’ve even gone on two long trips together, which were probably the most fun I’ve had in years.
I sold my house two months ago, but I’ve been putting off the search for a new condo. I know I’ll eventually have to move out, but I feel anxious about being lonely and on my own again.
Edit : For those asking, I’m 42 right now, and he’s 22.
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I recently stayed with my mom for a couple of weeks and it was so nice. She is lonely too, and really appreciated my company and my cooking.
It’s difficult for some sons, and here I can only speak for myself ; I’d love to be supportive regularly and I used to visit her a couple of times a week, long visits, but I need to live my life too, and that means flying on my own. I moved to another country, so our time is limited to when I travel back.
There’s no easy answer, in finding the right balance between your sons adult autonomy and the mutual benefits of supporting each other.
In Europe and much of Asia it’s much much more common for parents and grandparents to live with their children and even grandchildren. In the States, UK Canada Australia less so.
Not that one is right and one is wrong, just different solutions.
If we were sitting here together right now, I’d ask you how good are your mind reading skills. You’d laugh because, of course, you can’t read your son’s mind, to which I’d say that he can’t read yours either.
In other words, sit him down and talk to him. If you’re both happy with the living situation, then things are great. If he wants his space, then you’ll be fine after moving out and will still have a closer relationship with your son.