Moving BF States Away

For context I am a 27F and my BF is 39M. I grew up up in the north and then in my adult years I moved to the Midwest. I lived in the city in the Midwest for a few years before I’m met my boyfriend. We met and started dating for about five months and in those five months, I’ve expressed to him if my dad ever got sick or ever needed my help that I would have to move to help my dad since my dad obviously didn’t live in that city. My dad actually ended up moving from the north down to the south to be closer to his dad, my grandfather. My dad has issues seeing and he was diagnosed with the disease that affects his balance and my dad overall has mobility issues. He can still walk, but some days can be challenging for him overall since he’s had multiple surgeries. About five months into my boyfriend and my’s relationship My dad asked if I would move closer to him and so I told my boyfriend that’s what I was going to do. He freaked out told me that I didn’t consider him in my decision and I didn’t talk to him about it first. He also said it should be a decision we made together. He kept telling me how I was “choosing” someone else over him. And I did want to mention that we were living separately as well since I had a roommate and he was living with his parents, and he said it was “to help his parents“. So I told him that when I moved, I could look for a place for us and he could find a job down here. He didn’t like the state that I was moving to and was like “oh I will never be happy there and I’ll never be able to find a job there.” Fast forward. I’ve been living down here for a little under two months now and we have gotten into explosive fights. My dad doesn’t like him. And he (my bf) pays for my cell phone and he’s threatened to turn off my phone numerous times and then make me pay the remaining balance of it because we’ve gotten into arguments. This whole time he’s been badgering me to find a place and he told me he’s going to have a “freak out” if I don’t find one soon. I have been up there one time to see him since I’ve been living down here and he came down here one time and we stayed in a hotel. But he said that is an “unacceptable amount of time to see each other on two months.” I’m not sure what he’s expecting since we live several states away. He also proposed to me while he was visiting. Where he proposed to me, though was about three hours away from where our hotel was and I had a suspicion if I were to say no he would have left me there. And my suspicion was right, he told me later in the car if I would’ve said no, he would’ve left me there. Now today he had an argument with me about me not finding a place because “nothing satisfies me” and he told me that he would not talk to me until I found us a place and that two months without us living together is unreasonable. My dad doesn’t like him or the way he treats me. My work mom doesn’t like him and my real mom thinks that we need counseling. I do think that I have a place for us to go and we would be renting from my grandfather, but I haven’t told that to him yet. What do you guys think I should do? Do you guys think I should move him down here and tell him about my grandfather‘s place or do you guys think that I should not?

The reasons why my family doesn’t like him:

1. We got into a fight at my old apartment and we were both drinking. I wouldn’t let him leave because he grabbed the cellphone he bought for me (that has my work stuff and how I verify myself for my job on it) and tried to leave. I wasn’t letting him leave since I needed my phone and I was standing in front of the front door. He put his hand on my neck and my roommate called the police
2. When my cousin was down south visiting for his birthday he kept calling me repeatedly (he knew what I was doing) and told me I need to “go home now since I was out too late and I need to talk to him before he goes to bed”
3. Another time when he was drunk he grabbed my drivers license and tried to snap it in half
4. When he’s mad he will call me names like I’m dumb or stupid

He isn’t like that all the time and he does have good qualities about him. He genuinely wants to provide for me. He’s funny. He’s smart. If I ever need anything he makes sure I have it.