How do men and women treat you after becoming muscular? Has becoming muscular had any effect on your social life?
Muscular Men: How has being muscular changed your life?
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How do men and women treat you after becoming muscular? Has becoming muscular had any effect on your social life?
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How do men and women treat you after becoming muscular? Has becoming muscular had any effect on your social life?
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Has definitely helped with weight control and mental health beyond habitual lifestyle changes.
No difference in how I’m treated in public by either sex nor changes in social life. Those who know me have had a lot to say about the weight loss, however.
People ask me to help them move all the time.
When i was really shredded girls I knew used to randomly grab my arms all the time. Definitely got treated better and got more attention even though women claim they don’t really care about muscles. Just my experience though.
I’ve had to buy new clothes as to not look like I’m shrieked wrapped. Kinda annoying really.
Posture, I walk more confident
Once I started gaining muscle definition my wife actually started to notice me and actually feel me up once in a while
It’s about confidence. I feel confident when I look more muscular, which changes how I interact with people and in-turn how people see me.
Respect. Whenever I walk into a room everyone acknowledges me. I get treated better by both women and other men. I can’t go anywhere without someone commenting on my physique. It’s done wonders for my self-confidence.
I’m not big but my body is pretty toned. I have to take off my shirt for people to appreciate it, and i’m pretty shy to be honest. I was a fat kid and that mentality stayed with me.
THE THING IS that nothing relevant has changed. Sometimes i get compliments from other men, many times they asks me what do i do, how i train and asks me for advice, women don’t care, and people constantly asks me to help them to move and carry things.
I went from needing 2xl shirts for my stomach to needing 2xl shirts to fit my shoulders.
I feel better about myself when I look in the mirror.
Other than that, not much.
Idk. I’ve been muscular since 14~. I have never experienced being a non muscular adult
Some are intimidated others give complements and some don’t care..I’m not anymore confident than I was before lifting tbh
I’m a bit different as I don’t like attention but really enjoy lifting so I find I’m reminded of what I look like by others comments
I forget sometimes that I’m bigger than the average
Some women like it and others not so much
More attention from and success with women. I know you’ll see people claiming otherwise, but it really does help – it’s just not usually quite as straightforward as “muscles = sex.”
I think I get a bit more respect and deference from both men and women in both social and work settings. Again it’s not just “oh shit muscles, let’s all bow down,” it’s more subtle than that, but it’s something.
Went from skinny fat to relatively jacked at age 39. Lost like 20lbs then gained about 40lbs of muscle. It’s 9yrs later now and I’ve shrank down about 20lbs. (Currently 6’1” 195) People definitely noticed and was a huge confidence boost. Married now but had no trouble with the opposite sex.
Side note: I totally cheated to do it all and don’t regret it a bit. Used adderall to drop weight. Then was natural for a year and a half working out about an hour and a half a day(CrossFit and free weights) Once I reach a solid plateau I started using peds. First sarms, then graduated to trt levels of testosterone which I continue to this day. I don’t work out at all now, and I eat whatever I want. Still have a six pack, and around 14% body fat. I’m 48 now and enjoy the benefits of the work I put in.
more confidence, doesn’t really change the amount of dates I get, but when I do have them, the women speak about my muscles/gym etc.
I get more sex.
Sort of.
I got beefy junior and senior year. I was always somewhat toned, but a strength and conditioning coach really leveled me up. I’ve stuck to his training over a decade out of high school.
Generally it’s an incredible source of therapy. You get to dissipate a lot of aggression and overcome physical limits that were not possible before (until you reach a natural peak). Your self esteem naturally improves the stronger you get, because it slowly becomes more apparent how much stronger you are than the average person in most situations. Effortlessly.
Your clothing fits different.
You look more imposing, even if you’re actually just a total marvel nerd with social anxiety like me.
I have extremely noticeable vascularity in my forearms, so the increased arm size and the veins tend to make me look far scarier than I would otherwise. I could be standing there with my arms resting at my side and suddenly it looks like my forearms are about to explode.
Romantically it’s helped take a bit of pressure off of me to initiate things. Women will comment on my physique as a window into something.
It’s mostly men just asking me for workout & nutrition advice. I never had luck as a young guy with women my age but older women always were after me
I get way more compliments, from my mom.
The biggest effect is on my own confidence which probably directly effect my social interactions as well. I used to be quite shy and insecure so it definitely helps. Other than that it’s a mixed bag, some people think it’s impressive and cool, some assume I’m some health freak who won’t eat cake at a birthday, some ask me to help them carry a fridge or something to the 5th floor and instead of thanks they say “haha this is your workout for today”.
When I was in high school/college I feel like girls cared more, not that I’m middle aged I don’t think it matters as much. Girls have different values at 20 and at 35.
People speak to you entirely different which I suppose is no different than being a hot girl, fat, short/tall, etc.
I wonder how muscular the commenters in here really are
The fact is, muscle is really important to grow in your youth. Longevity wise it’s a big factor. But it really affects your day to day life. Fitness, metabolism, able-bodied-ness. Mental health is significantly improved with activity (especially weight training).
If you’re not investing in it you’re most likely making a mistake
Truly, no one except me cares, which is ok! I have a much better amount of self confidence, and that’s all that matters.
It’s easier to carry all the groceries in one trip
Great question to the originator. It was interesting to read the different thoughts and perceptions.
Lean jacked.
Sexually assaulted daily.
Fat jacked.
Much lower sexual assault, mostly gay old dudes trying to rub my back.
Both cases I can carry a fridge, so most household tasks are easier.
i was always big due to permabulk but now that i’m actually leaning down i look very muscular and the regulars at the gym are staring often
Dating was really easy. Managed to do all the boneheaded things in my life without serious injury (mountain biking, wrestling, jiujitsu, etc) and still have a really active life with my kids (4). Overall just taking care of my muscles, meant sleeping and eating well and it’s just made my entire life healthy.
Absolutely.
People respect me more for working hard on myself.
I read more to learn how to better myself, both in the gym and other parts of my life.
I was more confident in general.
More friends.
More topics to talk about, like exercise or diet. People asked for help to open jars or to move stuffs.
Girls found me a bit more attractive.
Better sex.
Got a girlfriend, now married to her and got a kid together.
Work on your body. Work on your mind. Have some disciplines. Life will improve for sure.
Today I carried our luggage up a bunch of stairs on the way to the airport.
Nothing but positives. People will notice and mention that you work out. It is something extra to talk about to break the ice. You can call people out on bullshit in public and see the mental threat assessment in their mind kicked off.
Random compliments and much more attention from women
How muscular are you talking about?
In junior high, I got made fun of for having “bitch tits”…. So I focused on diet and working out all throughout high school.
Being lean and having some arms/muscle definition does wonders to self confidence and first impressions. (Better posture, look better in shirts etc).
Always liked the complements on arms. But I did get “too big” after college, and at the point it was just my bros asking about gym tips and PRs.
Also didn’t really like having a meathead stereotype. But through the dedication it takes to achieve a decent physique, you learn to appreciate others who also put in the hard work.
Being lean, 13-ish% bodyfat has been the golden zone.
I tend to cramp more.
Lots of compliments and being told I look like a celebrity. Can’t complain
Girls bite my arms or my chest if we were laying down. It’s a good feeling.
wife likes my body a little bit more. unsure how much. she married me as a skinny guy. I think she likes the skinny fit version more than the bulky muscular version. she said this in fact, so I lost 20 lbs. some fat, some muscle.
My arms are too big for the shirts that actually fit me. I’m perpetually between sizes.
As far as women go, nothing at all. But men notice. They silently respect it. People respect you more in general. People listen when you speak.
There are a ton of practical and health benefits, but I haven’t experienced a major social difference to be honest. I’m not yolked by any means but I mainly get unwelcome comments like “ooh, somebody’s been working out!” from friends and family that make me feel uncomfortable. I’ve always struggled with my weight, so even “positive” comments about my body are still nails on a chalkboard to me.
I’ve found lifting to be very beneficial for my mental health, the increased ease of just everyday life and movement is hard to describe, and the discipline of going to the gym 6x per week translates to other areas, so those have been the biggest changes in my life.
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I have reached new weight records recently in my bulking cycle. I get compliments from my family and friends. I used to be a skinny person. I feel more confident now than I ever was. Because of that I can talk to more people.
Yeah I’m gonna say I’m treated SIGNIFICANTLY differently. Not just the muscles but the low bf and jawline.
For example today I did my friend a favor and basically was the bouncer at the back door of his restaurant. The bathroom is literally right behind me.
“Can I pee?”
“No you have to go around to the front and ask the hostess.”
She heads off and comes around.
“Thank you.” She tells me.
Another chick, with her husband “Can we come in this way?”
No.
“Nice eyes.”
…
Today was insane for my ego.
People like touching you.
Great if it’s a woman I’m into.
Not great if it’s a man or woman I’m not into…literally complete stranger women grabbing a handful of bicep.
Also not great bc women think you’re their personal punching bag.
I’ve been buff since puberty when I started lifting. Slightly chubby right now but nothing to worry about. The above has happened my whole life.
I don’t think it has changed how men treat me, apart from some may approach me at the gym and ask for advice.
As for women it has had mixed reactions. Some really like the extra muscle, and it has had a positive effect on meeting like minded women who have a common interest in leading a healthy and active lifestyle.
Conversely I’ve had some women relay the sentiment that they don’t like it because they assume you’re in the gym 24/7 and you’ll be more apt to cheat because more women will be attracted to you. It has had a negative on the self esteem of a couple women that I was in brief relationships with. There were instances of older women being embolded to be a little handsy and grope which I found to be ick that never happened before I put on the muscle.
Probably a bunch more i’m forgetting to add as well lol
People ask me for physical help more often
Not much change in sex life but now when I spot another fit dude we can nerd out about lifting routines and macros recipes
A lot of my friends who haven’t seen me in person (adult life lol) and see me after like 2 years later are like stunned and in awe of how much I changed physically, some have even called me a “monster” which I take as a compliment because the dysmorphia hits really hard sometimes. I would say there’s more of advice seeking but generally towards like how to get fit, what do I eat, can you train me from men.
From women, I don’t see a difference in how Im treated prior to be muscular.
I definitely get more looks and direct attention.
From other dudes.
And yes some gay guys.
I don’t consider myself that muscular and I look like a DYEL in most clothes, but the only thing that’s changed is that if I’m wearing a short sleeved shirt (or one time, some slimmer fitting pants than usually) occasionally people will say something about how I must be going to the gym. That’s really it.
If you are muscular and you think it’s not helping with the ladies; either you are incredibly socially stunted or you’re genuinely not paying attention. My sexual attention skyrocketed when I was in excellent shape. Dude, the girl grabbing your arm saying “wow you’re so strong” is not being friendly. It seems like men just don’t speak that language skillfully, particularly meatheads.
It is NOT confidence. That is part of it, but ultimately also kind of a bullshit thing people say to make you feel better when you’re not in great shape. The fact of the matter is that the average person finds the average muscular person much more attractive than the not muscular one. It’s really fucking annoying that people won’t just fess up.
You get more “man” talking to you. Bonus if you post your fit pic on IG, it’s definitely attracting attention but from the different crowd your expecting 🙂
I can’t properly wash my back.
It’s like a+2 to all positive and neutral relationships. People who didn’t like me before, still don’t like me.
Guys will acknowledge the hard work and give you props. Women don’t care.
I get complements when I run shirtless and at school reunions.
But all the muscles in the world won’t make me enjoy bars or find the average Tinder patron attractive, so mostly I just lift for me and to flex in the mirror.
My kids think I’m awesome
Definitely made me much more comfortable with myself and more confident. I had gotten compliments from girls but it’s 90% guys. Women think it’s ok to touch you.
Two things I didn’t realize we’re the “don’t know your own strength” moments and my guy stuff doesn’t look as impressive in comparison to the rest of my body as much anymore.
The single biggest thing I didn’t realize, that was genuinely shocking to experience, was just how much differently people, particularly women, will treat you. If I had to sum up what it’s like to have muscles as a guy, I’d say it’s the male version of being the hot girl with massive breasts.
I was always a fairly outgoing guy, partied but not the center of the party, fairly sociable, and I thought at the time above average in general attractiveness, I had girlfriends and girls as just friends, was in Greek life in college, etc. But getting muscles was like almost a polar shift in social interaction experience.
All of the expected stuff that’s been mentioned already, happened. Things like easier and more sexual interactions with women and in general. Guys being more deferential and agreeing with me more often, etc.
But what was surprising to me personally, was the sheer degree of it all. Almost overnight I started catching women out of the corner of my eye staring, it would happen in any location; on the street, in a resturaunt, walking around a pharmacy, and not just around my own age, but younger, and some waaaay older than I would’ve expected. Sometimes there’d be a wierdly overt sexual vibe, it was like the beginning of that scene on the subway in the movie Shame.
I would have entire conversations with women where they would just blatantly stare at my bicep the entire time we were talking, not even bothering to look at my face.
And that was the most startling part about it, how it highlighted things that I had never noticed before. For example my perception had always been that being a gawking horn dog who would cat call and pound the bar like a cartoon character when they saw someone hot, was something that was just unique to guys (and maybe drunk wine-moms at a bachelorette party), whereas women always seemed fairly reserved, even when they found someone attractive. That perception went straight out the window after getting muscles, and it was a genuinely surprising revelation that women were, in fact, just as blatant, aggressive, and crass as guys. It was just that I hadn’t really experienced it before.
It also changed the way I saw myself and my own identity in ways that I hadn’t expected.
These days I have a girlfriend, soon to be wife, so it hasn’t been a priority. But looking back at my perceptions of the world and myself before I got muscles, compared to after, I would say it was one of the most significantly life changing and educational events I’ve ever experienced and I would recommend any guy that has an interest in the inherent rewards to put in the time and effort to do it, because even reading these comments doesn’t truly do it justice, you have to experience it for yourself. And when you do you’ll realize that you can actually do anything if you put your mind to it.
I would say it’s all positives, except maybe for the growth-and-maintenance requirement and trying to balance specific vs. general strength training. Past a certain point if you want to become stronger or bigger you probably have to start making some sacrifices in other parts of your life.
Generally speaking all people treat me with more respect except maybe family, lol. When I was scrawny I would frequently get hassled in the street or targeted by dudes trying to assert themselves, now I get a lot less of that and when I do get it it’s a lot less threatening. All women like a fit body even if they say it doesn’t matter. I think men are the same.
Generally speaking life is way better with a strong, fit body. It looks good in clothes. It will take you cool places and let you do cool things. If you get your fitness from a sport you’ll meet lots of cool people and probably make some lifelong friends. You can work on your body for your whole life and be proud of it. It will motivate you to make healthier decisions and take care of it.
In hindsight if I could make one change in my life I think I would have not let my fitness lapse in my 20s, and spent that time training and growing my body for the remaining decades. I will always wonder how much stronger I could be with an extra 10 years of training.
Lost 40 pounds, gaing 4 muscle. Not super muscular, but have noticed no change in attractiveness due to my body composition. The only woment hat compliment me are older ones being nice. Men compliment me more than women.
Sometimes i’ll notice women taking an extended look at my pecs. My eyes are up here ladies!! Jk lolol it can be flattering.
I always had a slim build 180 lbs at 6ft and around 2018.. started losing my hair and got very lanky. Decided to shave my head one day and started going to the gym consistently for 2 years. Put on 30 lbs of muscle and looked like a beast.
Let me tell you , if you have confidence, you will attract people naturally. Got compliments from both sexes and got hit on quite a lot from both sides.
I have to say , last 5 years of looking muscular has changed my life
Always be muscular, people do treat you different enough to be noticeable but it’s almost meaningless and subtle. Just asking this question alone tells me you’ll understand someday.
Haven’t noticed any difference in treatment aside from occasional compliments.
Sometimes I get asked to lift things. Otherwise it’s just about how much chicken I have to eat.
I feel more confident. That’s about it.
People have an instant respect for you that wasn’t there before me being muscular.
My confidence (not cockiness mind you), has gone through the roof.
Friends used to ask me to help people them move all the time in my 20s. People start fewer or more fights depending on the market of deuces you are surrounded by.
Girls hit on me
You get more attention
Dudes with self esteem issues ALWAYS talk shit to you. It used to be a lot worse when I was in the military and usually kept a high and tight haircut. Some chicken little would always try and poke at me about being a big dude or trying to intimidate people. Like, bro, I’m just trying to enjoy the food truck park, I don’t give a shit about you.
On the plus side. I’ve never been in a fight. Been squared up on by (usually drunk) dudes, and one woman, before. But it never came to blows. Which I’m glad for. Nobody wins in a fist fight.
They kind of treat me with more respect. I think. I don’t know, I can’t tell if its changed anything or if the culture itself has changed and people are just more respectful.
People(men and women) treat you 1000% better if you are muscular. Gone from big really muscular to getting some fat, not obese but different and people’s behavior with me changed a lot (i mean random people not people i already know)
I’ve had random women walk up to me and ask to feel my muscles.
Helps me feel great. Makes my job easier. Women definitely notice. Other men are less aggressive.
I’m 46, so I particularly stand out for my age, and that’s nice.
Im respected and feared without trying. There’s a pause in how im spoken to before being spoken too
Men treat you with more respect for sure. You have more presence, they’ll give you space, people will hear you out, everyone treats you with respect, etc. Older men treat you with more respect too I think, maybe from a recognition that I’m in my physical prime and I’m taking advantage of it.
Not much difference with women who aren’t into you, very different treatment from women who are. Muscles combined with masculine behavior put them into a very feminine zone. They’ll say it’s not important for men and I think that’s true in the sense that women can be attracted to non muscular men as well. But I’d say the way that women are attracted to muscular men is different. Not sure how to describe it elegantly, I’ll just say they’re more submissive.
Much more confident. A shirt feeling tight on your arms, developed upper pecs, broad shoulders. Feeling jacked is intoxicating. You feel “powerful” a lot more. It’s not something that goes away either, it’s literally your body so you feel like it all day. I guess downstream of the confidence, I’m more assertive. That’s helped in other areas of life too.
The gym is also a huge stress reliever overall too. I tell a lot of friends that you start going for the physical benefits but you stay for the mental. Overall 10/10 would recommend.
I can pick girls up when I fuck em
It’s made moving furniture around the house a lot easier.
My sister commented that I was ripped once, so that was cool.
I was the skinny kid in school so when people see me now they’re shocked I’m the same person
In 18 years of doing it, it improved my lifting performabce and my mountain climbing times. That’s what most of my life is anyway. The “social buffs” were just a bonus.
More self confidence, and unfortunately a few self inflicted injuries. Better health. That’s about it.
I’ve been very fit my entire life. I don’t know any other way.
People treat me mostly the same I feel like. Low key some women and men will respect me more. Which I can understand, being in better shape and bigger than you just shows I work harder and am more disciplined. Some people will be jealous and envious of you, because like having a nice car, you have something they want but don’t have. Also stereotypes about ripped guys like we’re all just meatheads that spend too much time at the gym. Or we’re over compensating for having a small penis 😂
You know that small itchy spot on your back you can’t quite reach? Well it’s gotten bigger.
Lots of DMs from gay guys asking for booking or for muscle worship. I’m married for christ’s sake
Severe body dysmorphia. Like the opposite of anorexia.
If I skip a meal, skip a session, I look flat like I’ve never worked out in my life.
Made me more comfortable with sex
I just get more comments/questions from guys.
Oh the difference is night and day.
I’m tall and naturally lean. I’ve exercised on and off for the last decade. Did calisthenics and then switched to weightlifting. When I work out my weight stays more or less the same, I go from skinny fat to jacked, and when I stop, I lose muscle mass and that weight goes towards the belly. But between the two phases, the difference is barely noticeable when I wear a long sleeve shirt.
The way women treat me between the two stages is drastically different. I have confidence all throughout the year. The times when I don’t lift weight, I approach a woman, and we’ll have a nice friendly chat. The times when I lift weights, the conversations become more playful. They laugh more and stand closer. And at the peak of my physical performance, they even use opportunities and initiate conversation.
Around last may I was six months into consistent practice. I remember while doing cloth shopping, a good looking woman came up to me and said “you are a good looking man”, to her I replied “I know” and she giggled like a teenager.
One might think exercise increases confidence. Sure, works for some people but my base confidence is already high enough to initiate conversation with strangers. I think the reason is women can “smell” healthy in you.
With men, it’s more or less the same. I notice when I speak, men around me listen to me more carefully when I’m in shape. The difference is subtle but it’s there
My wife can’t stop staring at me when I’m naked – it’s the best!
Easier to get hook ups and thirst women with gym pics (I only use it to monitor my progress)
I get more respect and more people being open and talking to me. Giving me compliments and shit. From both men and women. Huge weight lost Almost 20 kilo and yet more to be done and that is the stupid stomach
How would they know what changed? They aren’t not muscular
People respect you more. you get girls easier, sex is better because of stamina. You look into the mirror and feel like a god. You strong af.
But you also have to eat right and train every week to maintain and you need to take a shit often.
I lost 80 pounds and got in great shape over the last 2 years.
Something I’ve noticed is everyone is much more friendly. Coworkers, friends, family, etc. Dating has really surprised me, because after being fat for so long, you kinda get used to being invisible. But now it’s entirely different.
The biggest difference? I feel better. Mentally and physically. I look forward to my hour and a half in the gym, three days a week.
I went to a concert recently, it was beyond hot inside the concert so I had to take my top off. Got complimented by 10 guys or so, no women. Certainly helped me get way more attention from guys, still no women.
Hard truth:
More men will tell you that you look great/jacked/massive, etc.
Women will still saying nothing.
So if you like getting compliments from the homies, lift.
If you think you’ll get more attention from women, you’re wrong.
Have had more compliments and comments from other blokes overall.
Much more reflexion from other mans trying to bring you down like “that’s not real strenght that’s all for the looks” and all that.
Wolan tend to be easier to talk with and they get more flirty, like grabbing an arm or this kind of things.
Made me more organized all around but maybe a bit more “selfish” cause i value my time in the gym a lot, it’s basically my alone and meditation time. So i tend to refuse some social plans in order to protect my training alone time.
Gotten a lot more interaction from both man and women. People will comment and expect me to be able to lift heavy things for them, or to be strong in general. Bed partners will act aloof, but they cannot hide the fact that they like it.
Other than comments so far about receiving comments, compliments and being randomly touched, there’s one thing that’s definitely changed: Groups of trouble making teenage boys leave me alone or get out of my way. That’s been a nice improvement in my life.
I always hated P.E at school growing up, and have never liked sports. Football is a “must” as a kid here in the UK so felt like an outsider with other male school friends and peers at points.
Weightlifting meant I could finally “do” something with my body that appealed to me. It was my antidepressant of choice at many of the darkest points of my life and I’m extremely grateful for starting it.
It’s a nice feeling being muscular and generally a bit more masculine in appearance as a result. I have round cheeks and eyes, and people always guess I’m younger for having a baby face, so this brings some balance.
It’s fun having random bouts of it being practical in tasks as well. Helping my girlfriend bring the shopping in, moving furniture around etc. Feels like I’ve levelled up my character a bit and I can’t see it changing.
I am mentally unstable if I don‘t lift weights due to recent deaths that happened in life. I also get a lot of compliments from other men. My girlfriend doesn‘t seem to mind whether I have muscles or not but I noticed that I care. It makes me happier, more „accepting of myself“.
Definitive more respect and those lusty eyes
It honestly makes every aspect of life better, to varying degrees.
It gets hard to find clothes that fit properly..