I really didn’t know where to post this, so I apologise if this is the wrong place for it, but I don’t know what to do or how to deal with this.
I’m 17F and really close to my 10M brother, so we were sitting down and he was js talking to me abt what he did in school tdy and then he started lowering his voice and he made me promise and swear to not tell what he was going to say to me to anyone, especially our parents so i thought he talked to a girl or had a crush on one and was js shy and stuff so I said sure idm. We have rly strict religious parents who don’t allow us to even have normal school interactions with the other sex, so that’s why I guessed the whole girls part.
He told me that his best friend (also 10M) searched for mommy/MILF porn on his ipad (they’re allowed to take them to school) in school using the school WiFi.
I didn’t know what to say or do so I js asked him, well what do u think abt what he did? he said he didn’t agree with what his friend is doing. I told him well, what r u gonna do abt it? He said yeah, ofc he’s my only best friend and I can’t js leave him.
He’s also always saying weird, suggestive and sexual stuff without even knowing the meaning of them, and randomly moaning and humping stuff in public, and I don’t know what to do anymore.
I’ve never been through a situation like this before where I had to give the birds and bees talk, or thought that I even SHOULD.
Note: I can’t and won’t tell or involve our parents. They don’t care abt anything other than religion and how they look in front of people, so they won’t understand that this isn’t my brother’s fault and will immediately take his iPad away from him and maybe even take him out of that school, not knowing that this happens in all schools. I’m not saying this bc I’m a bitter teenager or anything, but I’ve seen how they reacted to my other 15M brother cutting himself and how they nearly killed me for having friends who were guys. Neither me or my brothers consider them our parents, and we all had to basically raise ourselves. I’m more of a mother to them than my parents ever were, so this is for me to deal with.
Ik this post is a bit long and I’m sorry but I’d really appreciate any advice. How do I lock his device from suggestive stuff? And how do idealw ith something like this?
Comments
Thank you u/OstrichAccording4327 for posting on r/AskParents. All post titles must be in the form of a question.
Posts that do not conform to the subreddit rules are subject to removal at the discretion of a moderator.
Remember to read the rules and report rule breaking posts.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
You immediately call the school and tell them and have them check his search history. Let them deal with it and tell your parents what your brother was exposed to and that you already informed the school.
Perhaps somebody can chime in with some good family filter and protection software, but that is something you have to pay for I believe.
It is important for your brother to understand the seriousness of looking up adult content on a school device. It is unclear what your brother’s involvement is, but he needs to either stop or have his device removed.
I’m not anti sex or anti porn, so I think you can explain that the curiosity snd different feelings are natural. But what’s important is he needs time to grow into himself and better understand establishing relationships (romantic, sexual, and platonic) before attempting to interact with that stuff and others about it. If he doesn’t, that’s how people get hurt or end up in big trouble.
Let him know he can talk to you, it’s okay to have his privacy, but he needs to absolutely not do it on monitored devices, and a lot of the stuff he’s going to see isn’t real or healthy. If my kids were doing this, I’d put some limits on the device (filters, only available at certain times or spaces) or take it away. In a few more years I’d be ready to soften that somewhat, but there’s simply too much weird shit out there for 10 year olds. This isn’t skinemax tame.
Agreed with others that you should raise the lookup with a school official you trust. They’ll likely act on it.
I’d tell him not to let his friend use his ipad anymore. I dont see a way to secure his device without your parents being involved (assuming they pay the bills so their name/email is attached to it).
Save any evidence you can of your parents’ abuse. Photograph physical abuse, journal mental abuse, or even record the abuse as it happens. I know there isn’t much you can do as children, but soon you’ll have an opportunity to speak as an adult. You can take that evidence and possibly change your brother’s life.
It’ll also be a reminder to send them when they wonder why their children want nothing to do with them later on.