I’m 16F, and my best friend is also 16F with her being a few months younger than me. We’ve been friends since middle school but she ended up transferring to a different high school after her mom moved. Still, we’ve managed to keep in touch pretty often and still remain relatively close. To be completely honest we BARELY even had any fallouts until now 😭
Anyways a couple days ago, we were on FaceTime doing nothing (like we usually do) because I wanted to fall asleep on call with her. While I was doing my face routine and getting ready for bed, she suddenly picked up her phone and said she had to go and that she’d call me back. I was confused but just said “okay” and let her go. I was a liiittlleee annoyed but whatever. I’ll let her handle her shit
She ended up calling me a couple hours later, all giggly so I asked her what was so funny, and she just shook her head. I kept asking because at that point I was getting irritated. First, she randomly hangs up with no explanation and now she’s laughing at me?? She finally tells me (after being unnecessarily extra asf) that she had just gotten off the phone with her teacher, and she was happy because he apparently sent her some money for DoorDash after she told him she was hungry and she was talking about how she was about to order something(???) She was saying it like it was a flex??
I was weirded out so I asked her why she was even texting her teacher and why he was sending her money and she immediately got defensive and told me it was none of my business. I apologized (Ngl I wasn’t actually sorry but I just didn’t want her to get mad and shut down) and asked again more placatingly why he sent her money. She proceeded to give me a bunch of vague ass answers that barely made any sense and then casually dropped that she’d been texting him all summer.
At that point, I was getting even more irritated because nothing she was saying made any sense and that’s only disregarding the fact that she’s only telling me all of this NOW and has been texting this man all throughout our summer without her even thinking to tell me. I basically ended up telling her that he was a weirdo and she should report him to somebody but she said “nothing they’re doing was illegal” because the age of consent in our country is 16 (which we both are).
I eventually asked if she wanted me to say something instead, thinking maybe she was scared to tell anyone or something like maybe this was some weird ass hostage situation like you see in movies but she went off at me and said she’d never talk to me again if I went around telling her business since it didn’t have shit to do with me. I tried apologizing AGAIN, but she just kept talking over me before she eventually ended up hanging up on me.
I really don’t want this to end our friendship but this shit is just rlly weird.
I don’t really have anyone to talk about this with so any advice is appreciated. No DMs though since I’m probably gonna end up deleting this account after this post since I only created this account to get some advice 🤷🏽♀️
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Just because that’s the age of consent in your country doesn’t make it any less weird. Try to talk some sense into her one more time and if you can’t get through to her, you have to tell someone. He’s exploiting her and he needs to be caught. Take screenshots of your messages and expose what they’re doing either to her parents or to the school.
Tell your mom and/or dad. Let the responsible adults handle it. Either you end up protecting your friend from this guy, or (and i’m not saying this is the case) everyone finds out this is all untrue.
Tell adults about it. She’ll thank you later if she finds out it’s from you. Even if she was 18, a teacher doing that is insanely inappropriate, they’ll do it again. They need to be gotten away from vulnerable students like riiiiight now.
for what it’s worth, i’m the same age as you, so hopefully it helps hearing from someone your own age!! fortunately, i’ve never been in a situation even remotely close to this, so pls take my advice with a grain of salt and listen to the adults in the comments as they know more than me!! :33
your friend’s safety comes before everything else. and if trying to protect her ends up jeopardizing your friendship then so be it. my advice?? gather evidence and report it. the gathering evidence part is reeaalllyy important because from my experience with authority figures—without proof, you probably won’t be taken seriously since most of it would just be a bunch of “hearsay”
maybe try buttering her up a bit and make her think you’re cool and supportive of her relationship with him. she might let her guard down, and that’s when you can use that opportunity to gather evidence. go through her phone when it’s unsupervised, record your conversations with her regarding the teacher, take pics of the money he’s been sending—stuff like that.
Tell a trusted adult. It has to be done.
Age of consent in some places is even younger but with caveats- consent isn’t implied when the adult has an influential or authoritative position over the minor- think teachers, coaches, medical providers, law enforcement.
You’re right- it’s creepy. If nothing else tell your parents about your concern. Stay friends with your friend and drop the subject- Let her talk. Note any other red flags.
Tell some adults and never talk to her again.
Correct me if I’m wrong but I’m pretty sure the age of consent means consent they legally can consent to sex with another person most likely an underage person with another underage person, not a 16 year old and someone who’s 20+ also in any case despite that the teacher is highly inappropriate he is using his position to basically groom this 16 year old girl, he’s suppose to be a mentor and that’s it. He’s grooming her that’s what it is, he’s a pedophile you need to report him to the police or at the very least report him to the principal and other teachers.
She’s being groomed by a predator so while you really really need to tell an adult, I’m sorry that you’re in this position where your friend might be angry with you.