Basically as the title says. I’m 18 years old and have been wanting to go on birth control for a while now to help with my period as it’s bad enough that I miss school (I’m in my second year of uni so missing even one class can make me fall way behind) and work. My mom keeps saying that as long as I’m under her roof I’m not allowed. I can’t go to the doctor without her knowing because she knows where I am at all times and always tracks my phone. I really don’t know what to do it feels so unfair that she’s deciding what I do with my own body.
My (18) mom won’t let me get birth control
r/Advice
Comments
I agree with your mom.. focus on your future first
I DONT agree with your mom. You’re 18 and legally an adult. You can go to longs or wherever they sell it and get birth control like how you can get a random toothbrush. It’s called Opill. Didn’t work for me but it could work for you. You don’t need a prescription or anything. Make her stop stocking you or tell her you’ll move out. You need privacy and a life. Birth control is 100% appropriate your age for every reason… unless your mom wants a grandchild…. I’m joking but still, tell her to grow up. It’s going to be a hard talk but needed. Good luck!
You’re 18. You’re old enough to go the doctor and make this decision on your own without parental consent. You may be under her roof, but she is not in your body and doesn’t know how it affects you. If you’re able to, ask a friend to “hangout”, have her drop you off at a clinic and swap phones with her. She can go somewhere with your phone while you’re at the clinic with hers incase you need to contact each other. The procedure will probably take less than an hour so you should most likely be fine. I would recommend getting the nexplanon. 0 maintenance and once it heals it’s not visible. Just wear a long sleeve until then.
Normally I wouldn’t agree with lying to your parent but if this is something that affects your life, and you really need it, then do it. And regardless of the reason your mom doesn’t want you to get it, it’s YOUR body and YOUR choice.
Turn off phone tracking, go to the Doctor.
When your Mother loses her shit, tell her she has a choice to make about your future relationship and while she can kick you out it will only ensure that she loses all contact with you forever, so she may wish to take a deep breath before she makes a decision…
Oh, and emphasise that if she does throw you out or otherwise punish you for this, you will absolutely tell all your relatives what happened, just so she can’t bitch to them later about you not talking to her anymore.
Do it anyway, you’re an adult. And remove that tracking software from your phone.
Decide whether or not you really need a phone when you go out places. Leave the phone at home and go enjoy what you need to do
Yes you can. Go to the student health center. It should be free to you and birth control pills are free. Get the prescription filled on campus if you can or at a pharmacy that is unaffiliated with your mother. Don’t use any insurance card associated with your mom.
I also had a control freak mom that I was too afraid to go against. I know it’s scary, but you have to stick up for yourself. Act first, apologize later
Contraceptive injection. Really helps period pain in most women. In some it stops them altogether. Only need it once every three months. And they remind you with a text in Australia and the UK (ive lived in both). So your mum would never know. Just act like you have a period even when you done (take pads out the drawer so she sees thwm go down etc.
Hope this helps. X
Go to the student health center. There is usually one on campus.
Do you have a woman’s service at university you could approach?
Go to them and see if they can point you in the right direction.
Is 18 years old not considered an adult where you are ? In the USA, 18 year olds are adults and don’t need permission from their parents.
Granted, the parents aren’t responsible for them anymore at 18 years old.
Make an appointment go without her doesn’t matter if she knows you start living your life the way you want what’s the worst she’s going to do she kicks you out and you live somewhere else trust me if that kind of controlling parent being on your own is a better option and this is from someone who has been on their own a damn long time long before 18 because of controlling people and they’re unhealthy sick obsessions before people ever would have gotten involved and her kids were raised you going to have to spread your wings and fly on your own but trust me no longer you wait the worse it’s going to be she is psycho controlling your body like that how much worse you going to let it get before you take up for yourself even if it is a harsh situation at first if you let her walk all over you are you really an adult are you really someone who should be going to school and learning all these things you need to learn to stand up for yourself hun do things behind her back leave your phone if she’s tracking you leave from school skip a class if you have to but really don’t get the pill get a shot or something she can’t f*** with you got to be strong no one can do it for you
Legally you are an adult.
Financially you may have no choice since you are an adult. Meaning mom could kick you out and tell you to get your own place.
But as far as “Knows where I am at all times..”
You could choose to leave your phone some place else. You could put your phone in airplane mode which I think (not positive) would prevent it from showing its location on your mom’s phone.
Your mother sounds controlling.
I’m guessing the “no BC” thing may be rooted in religious beliefs so this may not help, but maybe go see your doctor – not for BC but for your life limiting menstrual periods. Then see what the doctor recommends to fix it. Possibly if it is the doctor saying “You should go on BC” maybe mom would relent. (??)
Your 18 get your birth control. She won’t find out
Dude my mom’s very conservative and in HS I would get TERRIBLE cramps and literally become anemic. She actually ended up being the one to suggest birth control for me, and she even said at the appointment that she wish she knew about it when she was younger. I believe they have some birth control that leans more into just period management/pain control rather than to prevent pregnancy, I just forget what it’s called. If she still doesn’t give in, I know that they do sell heating pads that you can strap to yourself (my other sister refuses to take pills and uses that instead lolol).
I don’t know what you’re relationship with your mother is like, but if you go to a PCP yearly and she goes with you, I would maybe use that as a chance to sneak in some “oh ive been missing a lot of class” “oh i dont want to take birth control cause isnt that only for pregnancies??” (You know the answers, but this could be a sly way for your doctor to tell your mother this. Your mom may also take the doctor more seriously because she’s more likely to see them as a peer.) If you’re mother does NOT go with you to your PCP, I would maybe ask them if they have suggestions or pamphlets that could change her mind.
I REALLY hope you’re mother changes her mind, or you get into a position where you can get some pills, because it CHANGED THE GAME for me.
Can you not say you went to the doctor about period pains or something and that you’re getting advice on the pain management. The doctor can’t disclose any info to your mother or anyone else because you’re 18yo. You can get a hormonal IUD for example so you wouldn’t need to try and hide pills etc.
Your mother is really weird for not allowing BC. Does she think you’ll start having lots of sex or something lol? Hormonal meds are meds, i.e. healthcare. It’s not just for preventing pregnancy. I’m having an IUD for period issues and not for pregnancy prevention. Condoms work just fine too.
You don’t even need an appt honestly, you can get the pill, patch, and the nuvaring from the planned parenthood app. I get the pill, 3 mo supply for 75$ free shipping without insurance. Idk how the other things are priced though. You could also get it OTC now with O-Pill
Updateme
Not commenting on your mom’s rule, but if you can’t get around it have you looked into diet changes to help with your cycle? It’s worth at least researching.
Do you regularly go to a trusted friends? Go there, leave your phone, go to your GP and do what you want with your body that you are 100% legally allowed to do.
(or does uni have secure lockers you can leave the phone in for a free period?)
You shouldn’t have to, but can you have a friend look after your phone for a while at somewhere like a cinema or library and then you just go to the doctors during that time.
Does she have a reason why not? Also, does she seriously stare at her phone all day to see where you are ?
Is there a student health centre you can go to.
Jfc some people are insane
so your mom wants you to be pregnant?
Tell your mom you need to see the doctor for stomach pain. Then tell the doctor what you’re really there for. Get a prescription and pick up your own pills and keep them hidden from her. The doctor cannot tell her anything because of privacy laws unless you explicitly allow it.
I wouldn’t recommend lying to your parents, but in this case, I don’t really see another option.
Lose your phone for a few days so she can’t track you.