Me and my gf have been dating for 9 months. We have been really happy together and tho we have been in arguments, it has never been anything that would break the relationship. Ever since the beginning of the relationship she has express curiosity for vapes. I honestly just thought she was joking and I never thought it would actually happen. The main reason why I think she started vaping is because of her friend (18f). They have been close friends since kindergarten and have always been really close. I am happy that she has friend to whom she can talk to, especially since they have know each other for so long. I just think this friend can sometimes be a problem. The friend has smoked since she was sixteen I believe and created a habit of smoking since her mother smokes as well. From what my gf has told me that friend has also drinks, which I don’t find bad since I also drink, but my gf has told me she has been a reckless driver and almost had crashes multiple times. I feel like this friend is being a bad influence to her. Her friend offer my gf to try her vape and she accepted it. She tells me about it and honestly I didn’t think much of it since I just thought she did it to try it. It’s normal for people to try new stuff so I didn’t see it wrong. Days later she tells me how she is going with her friend to buy a vape. I express my concerns but she tells me how she will have it under control. She has been using it ever since she bought it and uses it while we face time.
I just feel mix feelings right now. I know this is not my decision to take, this is up to her. I can’t force her to not use it. I also don’t think this is a problem I would break the relationship over. Perhaps I don’t see it as bad since my family members have smoked or still smoke. I just feel worry since she has Adhd, has suicidal tendencies, is really anxious and has self esteem problems. So my mind just puts two and two together worry how if she becomes addicted she can be in an even worse mental state.
TLDR: My gf has started vaping because of the influence of one of her childhood friends. She has bought her first vape and has now been using it regularly. I am concerned with the effect this could have on her mental state especially since it is already bad.
Comments
I mean, if it’s really that big of a deal to you, and if you are in the US, you could always report her and the store she got it from to the police for underage sale to minors. Since they raised the legal smoking age to 21 years ago, she shouldn’t be able to purchase anything herself, just like none of y’all would be of age to legally drink (if you’re in the US). Regardless of where you are I’m confused on how you think any one of the countless liver diseases you can get from drinking are a lower concern and less harmful than a vape. Both are options that could harm you and cause damage to your organs. Get off your high horse, and if it really bothers you so bad just end the relationship because controlling her and who she is friends with isn’t cool.
It’s great that you care and worry about your partner, and it’s good that you’ve identified that you wouldn’t break up with her over this. In terms of advice and an outside perspective, I advise digesting this as an instance where your partner may make decisions you disagree with, and trust me – there’s going to be more of those in your future – so take this opportunity to talk to her about it, see eye to eye with each other and that’s that 🙂