Me and my boyfriend have been together for about 3 years and 5 months. We used to have sex everyday or every other day for about a year in a half but now we do it every 3 weeks to a month. When we do it he can’t last for more than a minute max. And he never offers to help me out after or if he does he seems annoyed at it. I’ve found lots of gay porn on his phone before so i’m wondering if he’s gay. Yes i have gained some weight and i don’t think he’s attracted to me much anymore but i’m not sure. I need advice.
My (19M) bf can’t last with me (18F) during sex. Why?
r/AskWomen
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Gay as in men ? He’s bisexual
Well you probably have an idea given the phone situation.
I guess the best thing you can do is talk with him about it. Although I don’t think he’ll appreciate you sniffing around on his phone. But be honest, tell him about your worries.
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He might be one of those down low (DL) men
First of all, it’s kinda normal that the sex gets less during the relationship. It has its ups and downs, it’s not always hot, steamy and steady. What is bothersome is that he only thinks of his own, fast, pleasure and is not willing to help with yours. You both need to have a talk about your relationship. Not only the sex part. In this talk, if I were you I wouldn’t even bring up what you found on his phone. Just have a talk in general about your relationship, where you see you both are at the moment and where you see yourselves in the future. Then listen to him. After you had an initial conversation about your relationship, first then you should bring up the sexual part. Because by now you also have more information about where he stands. If you are both still on the same page or not. With this information, gently steer towards the sexual part of your relationship. Ask him if he is satisfied with it, as it is right now. If he feels there is room for improvement and what these improvements are. Then you give your view of it and what you feel could improve, but always, always!, during this talk – never attack, blame or guilt trip him! That will only make it harder for him to open up and that’s what you want. Plus with that you never get the answers you want.
I understand it is an incredibly difficult conversation to have when you’re 18 (I couldn’t), but you have to communicate, it’s the only way.
He might be gay, bi sexual, bi curious or something and that’s ok. Important is that you express your experience and needs clearly to him and without judgement… discuss his needs.
Don’t take this stuff too personal, be graceful, there are plenty more beautiful heterosexual men out there.